Non Catholic first communicants?

[NeCo99]

This time of year I see lots of people posting pictures of their kids having First Communion. As my daughter just had hers, I enjoyed seeing the pictures and could relate to the pride. But I have discovered that a lot of these people are not Catholic. Their children attend Catholic schools but are being raised Protestant (or something else). I get that people find Catholic schools to be better sometimes. My own husband and mother both attended Catholic schools despite not being Catholic at the time. I also know that some Catholic schools have a First Communion especially for the students at the school (our church had one for those who attend the church and a separate one for the students at the school…largely because of space).

I can see the opportunity for evangelism but I am really confused about allowing these children to participate in first holy communion if the parents have no intention of raising them Catholic. I do understand that they would have been baptized already so would this be a sort of conversion or at least the beginning of one?

One person is a former classmate of mine and when I said “hey I didn’t know you were Catholic”, she explained that she wasn’t but that her child attended the local Catholic school and she knew that communion was important so she allowed her to participate. They still attend their non-denominational church on Sundays, etc. On one hand, I agree that it’s important but I kind of object to her taking communion knowing she is not going to raise her child Catholic. I just agreed that communion is a big deal and said nothing else. (I am not into online arguments ).

I am not judging either side, just wondering if there is an explanation that someone can provide that would explain this practice?

 

[SMHW]

Uhhh. If the child is not Catholic then the child should generally not be receiving a Catholic First Communion, even if they are attending Catholic school.

Now it is possible that some of these children ARE Catholic. Perhaps the grandparents pushed for Catholic school and trying to see that the child has a Catholic upbringing even if the parents are not Catholic and/or are not practicing.

Ideally a child should be attending Mass on Sundays if the child receives First Communion. Many parishes make the parents promise that the child will be at Mass on Sunday. In practice, that is not always the case.

 

[NeCo99]

So right after posting this, our RE director and I ended up speaking about something else and I asked her about this,

She said in OUR parish (can’t speak for others) those kids either have at least one Catholic parent and so in theory are being raised Catholic (at least the promise is there), or she said they don’t actually receive the body/blood. She said that we had at least two of those situations here and they went through the motions of everything but when they stepped up to the altar, they kept their arms crossed.

She did tell me that she understood my confusion though and that many parents see the local Catholic schools as “private” schools and not “parochial”. I think that’s what probably is going on with a lot of these people. They see the communion as “important” but don’t really get HOW important it is for Catholics. I admit I didn’t understand this before my conversion and I had lots of Catholic family members.

 

[Ignatius]

One person is a former classmate of mine and when I said “hey I didn’t know you were Catholic”, she explained that she wasn’t but that her child attended the local Catholic school and she knew that communion was important so she allowed her to participate. They still attend their non-denominational church on Sundays, etc.

Someone isn’t doing proper checks on who is being admitted to the First Communion classes. Were they at least baptized first? You should bring this up to the Pastor and, failing that, the Archbishop for military services. This shouldn’t continue.

 

[coachdennis]

So right after posting this, our RE director and I ended up speaking about something else and I asked her about this,

She said in OUR parish (can’t speak for others) those kids either have at least one Catholic parent and so in theory are being raised Catholic (at least the promise is there), or she said they don’t actually receive the body/blood. She said that we had at least two of those situations here and they went through the motions of everything but when they stepped up to the altar, they kept their arms crossed.

She did tell me that she understood my confusion though and that many parents see the local Catholic schools as “private” schools and not “parochial”. I think that’s what probably is going on with a lot of these people. They see the communion as “important” but don’t really get HOW important it is for Catholics. I admit I didn’t understand this before my conversion and I had lots of Catholic family members.

While I may not agree with the RE’s solution her explanation shows why it is important for people to go to the source in their parish for clarification and not ask for an explanation from cyberspace when we were not there.

It also shows the importance of not making rash judgments, not to pick on you OP but you did post the original post. There are many marriages that have one Catholic partner or even nominal Catholics. How we attempt to reach out to these people will be unique to each parish – but I wish people would stop assuming the worst case scenario!

 

[1ke]

I think it’s a poor judgment on the part of the DRE to allow non-Catholic children to dress up in first communion attire and approach the altar for a “blessing”. But it isn’t grave matter.

But, allowing non-Catholic (and possibly un-baptized) children who are not brought into full communion with the Church to receive the Eucharist is a serious matter. Having one parent who is Catholic does not mean the child is a Catholic-- all FHC families should produce a valid baptismal certificate in the Catholic Church or proof that the child has been brought into full communion prior to receiving the sacraments of reconciliation and eucharist.

What you describe is a grave abuse. This is a matter to bring to the pastor immediately, and if not resolved there then to the bishop

 

[His_helpmeet]

Where I live, a Catholic baptismal certificate MUST be presented for a child to be eligible to receive any further sacraments. (We did not have to submit one for DSD because we still live in the parish where she was baptized - the parish already had her records.)

I strongly recommend that you suggest your DRE adopt this policy.

 

[NeCo99]

While I may not agree with the RE’s solution her explanation shows why it is important for people to go to the source in their parish for clarification and not ask for an explanation from cyberspace when we were not there.

It also shows the importance of not making rash judgments, not to pick on you OP but you did post the original post. There are many marriages that have one Catholic partner or even nominal Catholics. How we attempt to reach out to these people will be unique to each parish – but I wish people would stop assuming the worst case scenario!

Your response seems to be a firm, “don’t ask questions here” reply. Not sure if that’s what you mean, but it feels very unwelcoming. I just thought maybe someone would give insight beyond what I understood because obviously I was not going to call each parish that I saw on Facebook. That’s why I came to the forum to post. Again, I am not into online arguing, so I came here to ask thinking this was a safer place to get clarification on what may be done in different areas. I have noticed that some things are done differently depending on what parish in which you are located.

My RE director said she thought that this may be what was going on in those other places, but could only speak for our parish and actually said the priest gives direction.

I asked here because it wasn’t my parish that had me confused. I saw pictures on Facebook of people showing their child participating in first communion and I don’t live in the same states as these people. I saw more than one and thought maybe there was something I was misunderstanding about how first communion was done.

I am not sure if the comments about judging and assuming were directed at me or someone else. I did not make any judgments at all. I simply asked because I didn’t understand. I specifically said that I wasn’t judging either side and just was confused. I understood that participating in first communion would mean that someone is planning to raise their child Catholic. I was asking about situations where the child attends Catholic school but the parents are not Catholic, do not plan to raise the child as a Catholic but the child is in a picture seemingly participating in a sacrament. I am not talking about the level of someone’s devotion to being Catholic…I am asking about people who are not considered Catholic at all.

I am not sure what you mean by assuming worst case scenario, but I didn’t assume anything. I actually said to people “hey I didn’t realize you were Catholic” because of the pictures and they told me they were not and explained what church they attended.

 

[NeCo99]

Where I live, a Catholic baptismal certificate MUST be presented for a child to be eligible to receive any further sacraments. (We did not have to submit one for DSD because we still live in the parish where she was baptized - the parish already had her records.)

I strongly recommend that you suggest your DRE adopt this policy.

That’s what I understood also…something that implies that the child is Catholic, like a Baptism record. That’s why I got confused when I was told the person wasn’t Catholic.

This isn’t my parish where I saw the incidents. They were people on Facebook who live in other places. Our RE said that the two in our parish had been going to the school, and she was directed by our priest, to deal with them that way. She didn’t give me specific details as to why they children crossed their arms…it could have been anything. But she did make me feel better that our church, at least, isn’t just giving communion to anyone who walks up, knowing that they are not Catholic.

I guess the other parish allowed the kids to do so? Otherwise, I don’t see how a child who is openly NOT Catholic was allowed to participate in first communion.

 

[NeCo99]

Uhhh. If the child is not Catholic then the child should generally not be receiving a Catholic First Communion, even if they are attending Catholic school.

Now it is possible that some of these children ARE Catholic. Perhaps the grandparents pushed for Catholic school and trying to see that the child has a Catholic upbringing even if the parents are not Catholic and/or are not practicing.

Ideally a child should be attending Mass on Sundays if the child receives First Communion. Many parishes make the parents promise that the child will be at Mass on Sunday. In practice, that is not always the case.

EXACTLY…that’s what confused me. I thought there had to be some kind of Catholic connection because there are steps and requirements before taking first communion. Simply attending Catholic school is not enough from what I understood, but that’s what I saw in the pictures/posts.

I kept seeing pictures of kids dressed up in first communion clothing, the parents posting that the child had their first communion, and then when I said “hey didn’t know you were Catholic too”, I was told they weren’t. I don’t know about each situation, but one in particular, I am 100% certain that neither parents are Catholic, don’t plan to be Catholic and are only sending their child to Catholic school because it’s a “better” school than the others in their area.

That is what my RE director meant by people using Catholic schools as private instead of parochial. I see this a lot and one of the schools here has a HUGE amount of kids who are not Catholic and the parents joke about how they “deprogram” them when they come home from school. Again, this is not my parish (we have more than one in our area and they are like not and day in some instances).

 

[coachdennis]

Your response seems to be a firm, “don’t ask questions here” reply. Not sure if that’s what you mean, but it feels very unwelcoming. I just thought maybe someone would give insight beyond what I understood because obviously I was not going to call each parish that I saw on Facebook. That’s why I came to the forum to post. Again, I am not into online arguing, so I came here to ask thinking this was a safer place to get clarification on what may be done in different areas. I have noticed that some things are done differently depending on what parish in which you are located.

My RE director said she thought that this may be what was going on in those other places, but could only speak for our parish and actually said the priest gives direction.

I asked here because it wasn’t my parish that had me confused. I saw pictures on Facebook of people showing their child participating in first communion and I don’t live in the same states as these people. I saw more than one and thought maybe there was something I was misunderstanding about how first communion was done.

I am not sure if the comments about judging and assuming were directed at me or someone else. I did not make any judgments at all. I simply asked because I didn’t understand. I specifically said that I wasn’t judging either side and just was confused. I understood that participating in first communion would mean that someone is planning to raise their child Catholic. I was asking about situations where the child attends Catholic school but the parents are not Catholic, do not plan to raise the child as a Catholic but the child is in a picture seemingly participating in a sacrament. I am not talking about the level of someone’s devotion to being Catholic…I am asking about people who are not considered Catholic at all.

I am not sure what you mean by assuming worst case scenario, but I didn’t assume anything. I actually said to people “hey I didn’t realize you were Catholic” because of the pictures and they told me they were not and explained what church they attended.

You misunderstand me entirely or I was not clear. I was commending you to try and find clarification.

Then I was speaking in general that there is a tendency for people on these forums to NOT seek clarification at any local level and immediately assume that something may be going on that in fact, not occurring.

I should have made it two separate posts and I apologize.

I will not bother you anymore.

 

[Cider]

I just find this bizarre. I also don’t think it sets the right example to have non Catholics even going up for a blessing ( we’ve already been over that in this forum many times) during first communion. I’m sorry but this whole, oh my gosh we don’t want anyone to feel excluded thing needs to end. The Catholic church has a closed communion, it serves no benefit to let children and their parents play at the sacraments that they aren’t entitled to. I’m a convert myself. I had to wait a couple weeks after Easter Vigil to be received into the church and while I did sit in the pews with my RCIA class I did not go up with them.