Non-Catholic friend who comes to mass

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Kathrin

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I have a friend who soemtimes wants to come to church with me.
Now, I can hardly tell him not to, I think it is beautiful that he wants to come.
However, so far he has always also come to communion, and today I told him again that really he should not be doing that, unless he really believes it is the body and blood of Christ.

Now I’d feel bad if I would tell him not to come to church, but I ALSO feel kind of responsible if he goes to communion when he shouldn’t.
(On the other hand, I have this loving (all-including) thought in me that says, who am I to even THINK somebody should not be part of communion/the community!!!)

Of course the only thing I can do is tell him what I feel, and I can’t order him to go or not go.
It is a difficult situation though.
How would you handle it?

Kathrin
 
I think you’re on track. We should not discourage anyone from coming to church. It is intended as a haven for sinners.

You’ve done your part by reminding him that Communion is reserved for those who truly are in “communion.” I’d remind him of that again, and explain why, but I would not attempt to discourage him from coming to church.
 
Kathrin said:
I have a friend who soemtimes wants to come to church with me.
Now, I can hardly tell him not to, I think it is beautiful that he wants to come.
However, so far he has always also come to communion, and today I told him again that really he should not be doing that, unless he really believes it is the body and blood of Christ.

Now I’d feel bad if I would tell him not to come to church, but I ALSO feel kind of responsible if he goes to communion when he shouldn’t.
(On the other hand, I have this loving (all-including) thought in me that says, who am I to even THINK somebody should not be part of communion/the community!!!)

Of course the only thing I can do is tell him what I feel, and I can’t order him to go or not go.
It is a difficult situation though.
How would you handle it?

Kathrin
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Hi Kathrin 🙂

In the front of the missals at our church, it explains the Church’s stance on who should and should not receive Holy Communion and why. I don’t know if it’s in all missals, but if it’s not in the ones you have, maybe your priest has something you could show to your friend. If not, I think it falls to you to explain it to him (it has nothing to do with what you feel, it’s probably the most important part of our faith. Once you have, it’s between him and God I guess.

How wonderful that your friend is being drawn to the Church! I’ll say a prayer that he can follow your example…have you mentioned RCIA to him?

God bless! 😃
 
Kathrin,
You are not responsible for his behavior… you pointed it out, he is now responsible for his own behavior.
 
But you are responsible to let him know his behavior in receiving communion is inappropriate and very disrespectful of the Church to which he is attracted and to you as his friend. And to faithful Catholics everywhere.

If he came to church wearing an obscene picture or slogan on his shirt, would you say something? If he tried to hold a loud conversation with you during mass, would you tell him he was wrong to do so? If he danced down the aisle, would you mention it?

How much more does he need to know that our Holy Eucharist is reserved for those in full communion with the Church?

You may not be responsible for his behavior. But you do have a responsibility to protect and defend your Lord.
 
Kathrin said:
I have a friend who soemtimes wants to come to church with me.
Now, I can hardly tell him not to, I think it is beautiful that he wants to come.
However, so far he has always also come to communion, and today I told him again that really he should not be doing that, unless he really believes it is the body and blood of Christ.

Now I’d feel bad if I would tell him not to come to church, but I ALSO feel kind of responsible if he goes to communion when he shouldn’t.
(On the other hand, I have this loving (all-including) thought in me that says, who am I to even THINK somebody should not be part of communion/the community!!!)

Of course the only thing I can do is tell him what I feel, and I can’t order him to go or not go.
It is a difficult situation though.
How would you handle it?

Kathrin
Click to expand...
He should not be receiving Holy Communion unless he is Catholic, and in Sanctifying Grace, It matters not if he believes in the Real Presence or not.
 
There are some members at my church who come up and only receive a blessing. If your friend is not Catholic, it would be more appropriate to receive a blessing rather than the Eucharist. At least your friend could still come and share the experience.
 
He should not be receiving. If he loves the church, then enroll him in RCIA classes, you go with him and help him to learn the faith. Then he can become a Catholic! And that would be a blessing!
 
starry_night said:
There are some members at my church who come up and only receive a blessing. If your friend is not Catholic, it would be more appropriate to receive a blessing rather than the Eucharist. At least your friend could still come and share the experience.
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I don’t get this practice. The priest blesses everyone at mass, and everyone is in the presence of Christ at mass. Unless the thought that you can’t get enough blessings applies here!
 
That’s so wonderful that he is coming to Mass with you. I took my nieces to Mass (who can receive in the Episcopal church) and explained that they could participate in every way except that communion is reserved for the Catholics because we need to fulfill certain obligations first.

I think if you explain in detail why, and not just “no” that maybe he’ll not go. Heck - ther are plenty of Catholics who don’t go to confession and then go to communion. Can’t stop them all. It’s between God and them.
 
Kathrin said:
Of course the only thing I can do is tell him what I feel, and I can’t order him to go or not go.
It is a difficult situation though.
How would you handle it?

Kathrin
Click to expand...
This very thing happened to me last summer while I was in Italy. This is how I handled it:

Me, and two other girls, along with an adult were going to walk into town to go to Mass. Our roommate (who is not Catholic) wanted to come with us. We got there and it came time to recieve the Eucharist. We sat near the back, so it would be awhile til we got up there. We stand up, and we told her she could say in the pew or come up and recieve a blessing. She was insistant that she wanted to recieve Communion. We asked her if she can recieved her First Holy Communion, with the white dress, and taking classes, (we didn’t know if maybe she was Catholic before, or anything) she said no, not with the Catholic Church. We told her that you have to go through that first before you are given the priveledge of recieving the Eucharist. She was still insistant. We argued with her all the way up til a few people before the priest, telling her that because she did not believe that it was the body and blood of Jesus Christ, that she could not recieve it.
After the priest gave it to her, we figured that we had done all that we were morally obligated to do.
She walked away with the Host in her hand, and I think that priest realized that she didn’t know what she was doing, and he went after her, and took it from her. I was shocked that he did that! He came back to me, and told me that it was ok. (Though, i have to admit, at that point I was more shocked he spoke English, nearly 100% of the people we encountered didn’t)
 
^^He came back to me, and told me that it was ok

Why in the world did he check in with you on this?:confused:
 
Hellisreal said:
^^He came back to me, and told me that it was ok

Why in the world did he check in with you on this?:confused:
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Because I was standing there, next in line to recieve Communion, with, what I’m sure, was a look of utter shock, I had not expected him to do that.
 
Wow, I must say, I have never seen THAT happen. Must be a very good observer, that priest!!

It is a little different with my friend. He knows a lot obout religion, abotu Christianity. It seems more like he doesn’t much believe in separating the different confessions. He says Jesus is with us wherever two or three are gathered in His name. He has studied the Bible a lot.

Kathrin
 
However, so far he has always also come to communion, and today I told him again that really he should not be doing that, unless he really believes it is the body and blood of Christ.
Click to expand...
Now I’d feel bad if I would tell him not to come to church, but I ALSO feel kind of responsible if he goes to communion when he shouldn’t.
(On the other hand, I have this loving (all-including) thought in me that says, who am I to even THINK somebody should not be part of communion/the community!!!)
Click to expand...
Your middle feeling is right, that you are responsible. Do tell him not to come to church, if he won’t stop receiving! This is a profanation of the Sacrament. It is not a light matter, nor is it a matter of being polite and avoiding bad feeling! Or if you feel that you cannot tell him not to receive, tell the priest, if it is always the same priest, that your friend is not Catholic.
 
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