Non Catholic friendships

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jab42483

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We recently had a horrible experience attempting to befriend a blended faith couple at our local parish, was wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences.

The couple is mixed faith, one being Catholic and the other more of a fundamentalist. My wife became quick friends with the non Catholic woman, but the more we talked the more we discovered her distaste for the Blessed Virgin Mary and the Catholic faith in general.
She is a very sweet girl, but we are very devoutly Catholic and found it difficult to share the things that impact our life because we relate everything to our faith.

Has anyone else had this problem?
 
I am a single Catholic woman who would love to have Catholic friends.
Love the Latin Mass, love and follow the Pope, pro-life, active in my parish.
God did bless me with a best friend who was a devout Catholic … I lost her to heart disease.
Beyond that, I tend to be accepted much easier by non-Catholics …
so that is who I will hang out with.
 
jab42483 said:
She is a very sweet girl, but we are very devoutly Catholic and found it difficult to share the things that impact our life because we relate everything to our faith.
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Did you want to be a friend to the girl, or to convert her to your point of view? If you can only be friends with people who think exactly like you do, you’re really only befriending yourself.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but as the husband of a Catholic, I have had experiences like that. I would be offended if someone tried to convert my wife away from her Catholic beliefs, too.
 
I think it depends.

What helps relationships with others who are not Catholic are common values of good will and an attitude of serving one another.

You yourself have to see how much you personally can handle. I have an in law who thinks the same way and I have had to find my own space to continue in loving friendship but avoid situations where such attitudes will come up. They do from time to time, but I have to learn to let it roll off my back. But then again, we are family and so we have greater dedication to each other.
 
masuwerte said:
Did you want to be a friend to the girl, or to convert her to your point of view? If you can only be friends with people who think exactly like you do, you’re really only befriending yourself.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but as the husband of a Catholic, I have had experiences like that. I would be offended if someone tried to convert my wife away from her Catholic beliefs, too.
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Thank you.

:blessyou:
 
If it’s a problem with your faith, then the acquaintance is best avoided. You might actually have to tell the person that.
 
masuwerte said:
Did you want to be a friend to the girl, or to convert her to your point of view? If you can only be friends with people who think exactly like you do, you’re really only befriending yourself.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but as the husband of a Catholic, I have had experiences like that. I would be offended if someone tried to convert my wife away from her Catholic beliefs, too.
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If I may speak, as Catholics, we understand that our faith isn’t a point of view, but its the Truth, as the Baltimore Catechism says:
Q. 516. Why can there be only one true religion?
A. There can be only one true religion, because a thing cannot be false and true at the same time, and, therefore, all religions that contradict the teaching of the true Church must teach falsehood. If all religions in which men seek to serve God are equally good and true, why did Christ disturb the Jewish religion and the Apostles condemn heretics?

So as Catholics we wan’t to share the joy of Christ with all people, and to bring all to that fullness of joy and communion with Christ and His Church.

Pax!
 
Delivery and content are both important. Usually, it is best to gradually win the person’s trust before you start evangelizing. At that point, they know that you have their best interests at heart and are more open to hearing about Catholicism.

With someone so antithetical to Catholic beliefs, I’d make inroads slowly. The opportunity will present itself if you’re looking for it. You don’t sound like a person who is trying to force your beliefs on anyone, but rather a healthy Catholic who knows that their religion has the answers to people’s problems, spiritual and material. It is perfectly reasonable to want to share that and talk about it. Don’t let that evangelical spirit die in you with all the PC talk out there. You’re not forcing anything on anyone when you speak about your love of Christ and His OHC&AC.
 
i try to show them my love and joy in the Lord. if they ask the reason? that’s just an added benefit.👍
 
jab42483 said:
We recently had a horrible experience attempting to befriend a blended faith couple at our local parish, was wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences.

The couple is mixed faith, one being Catholic and the other more of a fundamentalist. My wife became quick friends with the non Catholic woman, but the more we talked the more we discovered her distaste for the Blessed Virgin Mary and the Catholic faith in general.
She is a very sweet girl, but we are very devoutly Catholic and found it difficult to share the things that impact our life because we relate everything to our faith.

Has anyone else had this problem?
Click to expand...
What was the horrible experience? Just that she told you that she doesn’t like the Catholic faith? That doesn’t really sound all that horrible. Do you have anything else you could talk to her about? Pintrest? Dogs? Kites? Hunting? The simple solution is for you to respect her beliefs (or at least her right to have them) and she respect yours. If you don’t have anything else to connect on, then they might not be the best choice of friends for you. What drew you to try and make friends with them anyway? You must have something in common.
 
My grandma always told us that the way to keep friends is not to discuss religion or politics. I have Catholic friends, protestant friends, non religious friends, Jewish friends… We just don’t usually “go there.”

You say everything in your life relates back to your Catholicism. Really? I find that strange. My kids go to a Catholic school, but I can easily discuss “education” without the topic veering religious. Our home also has several sacramentals in plain view, but I can discuss home decor without talking about icons and statues of saints. Surely there are things in your life - hobbies, sports, jobs - that can be discusses without you bringing it back around to Catholicism.

I know people who have “an agenda” and always seem to be able to insert said agenda into any given conversation. For example, I have an acquaintance that is positively passionate about home birth/natural birth. She can bring anything back around to that. When the moms are discussing a problem child at the playground, he must have been born via Cesarean section. When a woman talks about how she needs to lose 10 lbs, she must have body shame from a medicalized birth. It does get tiresome. I wonder if that is how YOU are coming across to this other couple. If you bring up your faith every other minute, the other woman may have felt the need to defend herself against what seemed like an onslaught.

I would give the couple another shot, and agree NOT to bring up religion. There may be a time when you are much closer friends where faith could be an okay topic to discuss, but the truth is that you probably overdid it that first time.
 
I can’t separate my faith from my life, it is one in the same. Actually, I don’t want to separate it.
 
jab42483 said:
I can’t separate my faith from my life, it is one in the same. Actually, I don’t want to separate it.
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That’s fine, you don’t have to. But if it’s all you talk about, and everything else always comes back around to Catholicism, you won’t have many people to hang out with. Even most Catholics don’t want to discuss religion all the time.
 
Avocadomom said:
That’s fine, you don’t have to. But if it’s all you talk about, and everything else always comes back around to Catholicism, you won’t have many people to hang out with. Even most Catholics don’t want to discuss religion all the time.
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lol, filipino’s are about it. 🙂 We do discuss “regular” things, but Catholicism is such an important part of our lives, its hard not to.
 
jab42483 said:
We recently had a horrible experience attempting to befriend a blended faith couple at our local parish, was wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences.

The couple is mixed faith, one being Catholic and the other more of a fundamentalist. My wife became quick friends with the non Catholic woman, but the more we talked the more we discovered her distaste for the Blessed Virgin Mary and the Catholic faith in general.
She is a very sweet girl, but we are very devoutly Catholic and found it difficult to share the things that impact our life because we relate everything to our faith.

Has anyone else had this problem?
Click to expand...
This is going to sound harsh, but it seems that this is a problem with you, not her. She is, in your words, a very sweet girl who gets along so well with catholics that she married one and participates in her husband’s parish.

Yet, you couldn’t accept that she has her own deeply personal religious and spiritual beliefs. If her husband hasn’t converted her, what do you think your odds were?
 
i wish we lived near you, it is so difficult to find Catholics who want to talk about Jesus. usually after one get together, we’re not invited back, and i’m fine with that because i can’t take anymore banal small talk in my life.
 
jab42483 said:
lol, filipino’s are about it. 🙂 We do discuss “regular” things, but Catholicism is such an important part of our lives, its hard not to.
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Actually, my husband is Filipino. His faith is a very important part of his life. He does not overwhelm/bombard others with talking about it constantly.

There is a point at which Evangelization backfires.
 
jab42483 said:
We recently had a horrible experience attempting to befriend a blended faith couple at our local parish, was wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences.

The couple is mixed faith, one being Catholic and the other more of a fundamentalist. My wife became quick friends with the non Catholic woman, but the more we talked the more we discovered her distaste for the Blessed Virgin Mary and the Catholic faith in general.
She is a very sweet girl, but we are very devoutly Catholic and found it difficult to share the things that impact our life because we relate everything to our faith.

Has anyone else had this problem?
Click to expand...
I’ve known good Catholics that have problems with the Blessed Virgin Mary and the Rosary. I don’t worry about it.

Arguing with her won’t convert her. Your cheerful countenance and quiet devotion will.
 
bisco said:
i wish we lived near you, it is so difficult to find Catholics who want to talk about Jesus. usually after one get together, we’re not invited back, and i’m fine with that because i can’t take anymore banal small talk in my life.
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When you truly follow Christ, He becomes all consuming. As our Lord said, He wants us either hot or cold, not lukewarm.
There are other issues I am not commenting on in this public forum, but suffice it to say that our two families are worlds apart and it would not have been a compatible match.
 
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