Non-catholic girlfriend, tattoos

[Scott84]

There is nothing in the Church doctrine that forbids tattoos, so it really is a personal preference if you want to get inked or not. Just do so in moderation in my opinion.

As for your relationship with this young lady, at 18, in my opinion you are too young to consider a lifelong future with your girlfriend. Don’t step on the gas too fast here! Believe me, I know from experience this can be a very bad thing!

When I was your age I had no clue as to my place in the world, I was still figuring out who I was as a man, and I did not have a good idea of what I wanted, who I wanted, and who I was compatible with. It takes time to get yourself established and to figure yourself out in the world.

I’m 34-years-old, and only now does it seem God has brought me to the woman I am destined to spend the rest of my life with and start a family with.

It took me kissing a lot of frogs to find my Queen lol. But I wasn’t religious back then. In fact, I only met her after I chose to convert and become Catholic. But I trusted God, and prayed to Our Lady for her intercession, and God took care of the rest.

As an older man, it took me less time to discern marriage with the woman I am with now. (we’re planning getting married in May 2020 at our church) But it took me less time to figure it out because I had dated previously, I learned a lot about who I wanted, who I was as a man, what I wanted out of a relationship, what kind of woman I was looking for, etc.

Right now in my life I am ready to settle down and start a family. I feel God has revealed to me that this is my vocation. You should pray for guidance for God to reveal your vocation to you. Place yourself in the maternal care of Our Lady as well! Mary always points the way!

And give yourself time. This relationship may work out, it may not. As I said earlier, take things slow, don’t rush anything!

Also ask yourself this important question: “Am I happy and content with someone who is simply OK with me being Catholic and practicing my faith? Or would I rather want someone who actively supports me in my faith? Goes to Mass with me, and prays with me?” There will be times when you will fall down and you will need that extra support in your faith to help you! And if your girlfriend can’t help you in faith matters, that is a big deal in my opinion.

The best advice I can offer you is for you to pray on this, and also talk to your confessor.

And last but not least, the most important thing about her is to look at her heart! Is it pure? Purity of heart is one of the most important attributes a man should look for in a woman. It doesn’t matter what she looks like, what matters most is what lies within her heart!

 

[lilypadrees]

Many people have tattoos. Look past your gf’s tattoos and see the person inside. If you love her and want/plan to marry her, then you must accept her as she is, tattoos and all.

Regarding talking to her about the Church, stop doing that since she feels pressured by it and says it’s making her hate the Church. (But make sure she knows that you are open to discussing your faith whenever she’s ready.)

Instead, let your actions do the talking. Actions speak louder than words, you know. Your example of your living faith may be what she needs to convince her to convert, regardless of having a Baptist fundamentalist mother (who may also end up converting).

 

[Joe_5859]

You’re 18. I have socks that old. Take your time!

I laughed. Then I realized, I really do have socks that are that old.

In addition to the wonderful advice already given, I would just encourage the OP to not conflate personal preferences with Catholic teaching. I know when I was 18, I felt similarly about tattoos. But I came to realize that the Catholic Church does not forbid them. And so having a tattoo does not make someone a “bad person” or a “bad Christian.”

It’s still not something I would ever choose to do, but that has more to do with my personality than the Catholic faith. Sometimes, it takes us some time to recognize the difference between the two.

I would also encourage you to be careful about coming across as trying to argue her into the faith. If she is going to become Catholic someday, it will be because she is attracted by your holy witness rather than verbally accosted. Certainly, you can speak your piece and attempt to articulate Catholic teaching as best as you can. But you cannot force the seeds to grow faster than she is ready for them to grow.

And it may be that you will be called to end the relationship. Having different religious views does pose an extra challenge. But ending it over tattoos doesn’t seem like the best reason to me.