Non-Catholic Girlfriend

[RyGuy796]

Hi everyone. I have been dating my girlfriend for a little over a year and care very much about her. She is protestant (attending a Baptist Church at home and Presbyterian church at school) and has a great relationship with Christ. I feel that we have been able to help each other grow in our faith throughout our relationship, even though I am Catholic and go to mass on Sunday’s and she worships elsewhere. Marriage is still a ways off, but the subject has come up as to what would happen if we did get married, as we would want to attend services together on Sundays as a couple. I don’t want to leave the Catholic faith, and she has said that she is open to any Protestant denomination. I have only in the past few years come to appreciate and embrace my Catholic faith and know why it works for me, but have trouble finding ways of presenting the faith to her in a way that would make her open to considering joining the church. She has been to mass before on various occasions, but because she is not Catholic, she just sees it as repetitious and doesn’t really understand what is going on or why. Any advice on what to do? Thank you in advance for your help!

 

[Alexius]

Hi everyone. I have been dating my girlfriend for a little over a year and care very much about her. She is protestant (attending a Baptist Church at home and Presbyterian church at school) and has a great relationship with Christ. I feel that we have been able to help each other grow in our faith throughout our relationship, even though I am Catholic and go to mass on Sunday’s and she worships elsewhere. Marriage is still a ways off, but the subject has come up as to what would happen if we did get married, as we would want to attend services together on Sundays as a couple. I don’t want to leave the Catholic faith, and she has said that she is open to any Protestant denomination. I have only in the past few years come to appreciate and embrace my Catholic faith and know why it works for me, but have trouble finding ways of presenting the faith to her in a way that would make her open to considering joining the church. She has been to mass before on various occasions, but because she is not Catholic, she just sees it as repetitious and doesn’t really understand what is going on or why. Any advice on what to do? Thank you in advance for your help!

Well, that’s a bit of a dilemma. Are you willing to leave your Catholic faith for her, or her for the faith? If I were you, I would hold off on making any move away from the Catholic Church or her. Is that a problem? Can’t you continue to attend Mass and be with her? You say marriage is a ways off. As such, is it necessary to deal with this now? I would talk to her about your faith and beliefs. Why you attend such a “repetitious” service. Don’t pressure her, but plant your faith and beliefs like seeds over time and pray that she will become more open to the Church. My experience with relationships is that you need patience. Don’t rush into things. Take your time and enjoy…If she likes reading, then there are many great books on the Catholic faith.

Prayers and petitions,
Alexius

 

[surgei]

Hi everyone. I have been dating my girlfriend for a little over a year and care very much about her. She is protestant (attending a Baptist Church at home and Presbyterian church at school) and has a great relationship with Christ. I feel that we have been able to help each other grow in our faith throughout our relationship, even though I am Catholic and go to mass on Sunday’s and she worships elsewhere. Marriage is still a ways off, but the subject has come up as to what would happen if we did get married, as we would want to attend services together on Sundays as a couple. I don’t want to leave the Catholic faith, and she has said that she is open to any Protestant denomination. I have only in the past few years come to appreciate and embrace my Catholic faith and know why it works for me, but have trouble finding ways of presenting the faith to her in a way that would make her open to considering joining the church. She has been to mass before on various occasions, but because she is not Catholic, she just sees it as repetitious and doesn’t really understand what is going on or why. Any advice on what to do? Thank you in advance for your help!

This is what my little sister calls mission dating. She gives me a hard time every time I try it.

I highly recomend the works of Scott Hahn for both of you. He was a Presbyterian minister before he became Roman Catholic. He does a great job of presenting the Church from the scriptures and makes it very palitable as well. He is involved now in teaching seminary students as well as what might be called the continuing education of priests.

I also recomend that you grow beyond your wildest dreams spiritualy. There is a great book on prayer called ‘The Practice of the Preseence of God’ by a monk of the middle ages. If you start what he teaches and keep it up, you will have no worries. That does not mean life will be easy. But it does mean that life will have meaning and joy.

Know too that if she does become Catholic then you will have a lot of issues with her family. If she doesn’t convert and you get married… well… good luck with that.

 

[c659smith]

RyGuy

I first would suggest that you get more fully involved with your local parish.

Search for why the Catholic Religion is important for you?

Is it the Eucharist (Jesus)?

Is it the Sacraments?

Is it our Blessed Mother?

Why do you marry?

Is it because you Love her?

Well love will come and go

Is it because you want to have children together?

Children are a blessing from God but will test your marriage and love.

Is it the house with the white picket fence?

Nice to have but not the most important item in the scheme of things.

When you marry keep in mind that you give completly of yourself to that other person and try to become one.

That as such you will love that person as yourself.

That you want to give that person the best chance to reach the ultimate goal and that is in heaven with Jesus Christ. For life here is but a short time but eternity is forever.

Know your faith as a Catholic why it has the fullnesss of Jesus’s Church and the best chance for one to gain that ultimate goal.

Show her through your actions, Going to Adoration, Church at a minimum each Sunday, your knowledge of the bible, and history of the different churches, teach her what is happening at the Altar in the back of the Church during Mass. Then ask as a Christian what she thinks of the last supper, does she find that repitious? but always remember you are one with the church started by Jesus and carried on through Peter by Christ’s instructions.

The Creed.

 

[Wholly_Spirit]

As you said, “Marriage is a long way off…,” so that is to your advantage. Plenty of time to SLOWLY introduce her to the teachings of the Catholic faith. The best thing to do is to be a good Catholic example. Show her how much the Catholic faith means to you. Let her ask the questions. ** TAKE YOUR TIME.** I say this because my wife and I went through this as we were dating in high school, only I was the Protestant. I was open minded and eventually it all sunk in, though I didn’t fully swim the Tiber until about 12 years into our marriage. Will she attend Mass with you? If not, it’s a bad sign. She’s closed minded. But, if she will attend Mass…

 

[YACatholic]

Hi everyone. I have been dating my girlfriend for a little over a year and care very much about her. She is protestant (attending a Baptist Church at home and Presbyterian church at school) and has a great relationship with Christ. I feel that we have been able to help each other grow in our faith throughout our relationship, even though I am Catholic and go to mass on Sunday’s and she worships elsewhere. Marriage is still a ways off, but the subject has come up as to what would happen if we did get married, as we would want to attend services together on Sundays as a couple. I don’t want to leave the Catholic faith, and she has said that she is open to any Protestant denomination. I have only in the past few years come to appreciate and embrace my Catholic faith and know why it works for me, but have trouble finding ways of presenting the faith to her in a way that would make her open to considering joining the church. She has been to mass before on various occasions, but because she is not Catholic, she just sees it as repetitious and doesn’t really understand what is going on or why. Any advice on what to do? Thank you in advance for your help!

I figure I’ll leave what to do to people more qualified than myself (because there are a lot of them here). I will say that I’m praying for you and that it is good that you are struggling. It shows that you care about your faith and her. It may not be convenient, but thank God for this gift. You, through this relationship, have the chance to re-discover why you believe and share that with someone who does not. Throughout, put your faith in God. Know that wherever this path takes you, you are walking with Jesus to get there (and it’s okay to struggle). You’re in my prayers.

God Bless,

YACatholic

 

[PBP]

Covenental marriage ! Christ’s covenant with his bride the church. Your covenant with your future wife. How do both of these mirror the one flesh union ?

 

[planten]

**Such cases are quite common in every religion. I am not a christian catholic or protestant. It is necessary for both parties getting married to be on one faith. Otherwise there will be more problems in future, i.e. children will get confused.

It depends which love is more important. What seems more lovely and enjoyable to you now. That will take precidence. The only other solution is to stick together all the time. Go to every place together.

Whatever you do, marriage is a very risky thing. Even if she becomes a Catholic (or you shift to the protestant faith), what guarrantee is there that your marriage will not fail. There are so many divorces going on. But it is better to take a sensible step in advance to avoid any bad situation in future. That is what you are doing now.

Prayer is a must. Pray to your God that He help you out of this difficult situation or He guide you to a better decision. It is a good thing that you are Catholic and faithful person. **

 

[PBP]

**Such cases are quite common in every religion. I am not a christian catholic or protestant. It is necessary for both parties getting married to be on one faith. Otherwise there will be more problems in future, i.e. children will get confused.

It depends which love is more important. What seems more lovely and enjoyable to you now. That will take precidence. The only other solution is to stick together all the time. Go to every place together.

Whatever you do, marriage is a very risky thing. Even if she becomes a Catholic (or you shift to the protestant faith), what guarrantee is there that your marriage will not fail. There are so many divorces going on. But it is better to take a sensible step in advance to avoid any bad situation in future. That is what you are doing now.

Prayer is a must. Pray to your God that He help you out of this difficult situation or He guide you to a better decision. It is a good thing that you are Catholic and faithful person. **

I’m curious to ask what draws you to a Catholic forum. Are you considering a conversion or just trying to learn more ? Be sure when you get your information it is from people who are in full communion with the church so as to avoid the garbage that is out there. If you pick up books check in the front of the book for certain markings that confirm it is doctrinely correct. The markings to look for are spelled : Imprimatur and Nihl Obstat
This assures you are reading correct writings. Hope this helps you.