Talk to your pastor.I am 32 and have 3 children 7,4,2. We’ve never used artificial birth control, but now my non- Catholic husband wants a vasectomy. I don’t want him to get one, I don’t know if I want more children or not, but he is finished. I want to stay in line with the church, but I honestly have no idea what to do. All my catholic friends’, including sisters’, husbands have had one so I don’t really have a support system for nfp. My in-laws also make comments on my nfp ways.
I agree with Xantippe.I am 32 and have 3 children 7,4,2. We’ve never used artificial birth control, but now my non- Catholic husband wants a vasectomy. I don’t want him to get one, I don’t know if I want more children or not, but he is finished. I want to stay in line with the church, but I honestly have no idea what to do. All my catholic friends’, including sisters’, husbands have had one so I don’t really have a support system for nfp. My in-laws also make comments on my nfp ways.
I agree with both previous posters, but wanted to add something in regard especially to the bolded: This is absolutely none of your in-laws’ business, so I would not discuss it with them any further, and if they inquire, let them know that it’s not their business (you can start out very politely with a statement like, “DH and I prefer to keep that aspect of our marriage to ourselves, thank you.”)I am 32 and have 3 children 7,4,2. We’ve never used artificial birth control, but now my non- Catholic husband wants a vasectomy. I don’t want him to get one, I don’t know if I want more children or not, but he is finished. I want to stay in line with the church, but I honestly have no idea what to do. All my catholic friends’, including sisters’, husbands have had one so I don’t really have a support system for nfp. My in-laws also make comments on my nfp ways.
ITA.I agree with both previous posters, but wanted to add something in regard especially to the bolded: This is absolutely none of your in-laws’ business, so I would not discuss it with them any further, and if they inquire, let them know that it’s not their business (you can start out very politely with a statement like, “DH and I prefer to keep that aspect of our marriage to ourselves, thank you.”)
You must oppose it strongly and if you need to sign a consent form for him to get it, you cannot do that either. If he can and does get it against your wishes, there isn’t much you can do about that but it may have a serious impact on your relationship. When one spouse goes so against another, it sure doesn’t make for a close relationship. I would feel I was just being used after that it if were me. I loved it when my non-Catholic husband worked with me, not against me. Actually, both of them, and they both became Catholic before they died. Don’t worry about anyone else, I had a SIL that opposed us all the way, even to the point of not wanting her brother (first husband) to be buried in a Catholic Church, which he was anyway. Both Mothers-in-law were fine with everything and happy for us all the way. I loved them both very much. My SIL and BIL from my second husband came to our house when I was expecting my 7th baby and did their best to try to talk my husband into getting a vasectomy. Which he never would!! She even agreed to sign the papers if I wouldn’t. Oh boy you can imagine my reaction. I politely told her if she EVER signed my name to anything, “ALL Hell would break loose”, and we politely asked them to leave. God Bless, MemawTalk to your pastor.
He’s going to tell you that you can’t encourage your husband to get a vasectomy, but that if your husband does get a vasectomy without your encouragement, that you are not culpable and that you may carry on as before.
Also, perhaps now would be a good time to do some counseling with your husband? It sounds like he may be struggling with your family situation (childcare or money?) and that he may be feeling overwhelmed. Talk to him if there are any specific ways that you can improve his well-being. Does he need more free time for exercise, hobby, friends, sleep? Does he need more time with you? Talk to him about that even if you don’t manage to get him to a counselor.
I had someone close to me in the same position as you are now… She’s catholic, her husband is not, but he decided to go get a vasectomy. A few months after he did, he started to experience strange moods and very deep depression and intrusive violent thoughts… something very odd for him as he was a very chummy and fun person to be around. I never put two and two together until I read an article linking vasectomies and hormonal imbalances/mood disorder. I feel really sorry for him because he is still dealing with some issues years later,… now better controlled with ‘medication’, but it could have been avoided! Pills are expensive, and who would want to do that to themselves? He is not happy anymore. It did not need to be done. I think men are not warned of the implications of having it done. It might be few that get complications, but why risk it?I am 32 and have 3 children 7,4,2. We’ve never used artificial birth control, but now my non- Catholic husband wants a vasectomy. I don’t want him to get one, I don’t know if I want more children or not, but he is finished. I want to stay in line with the church, but I honestly have no idea what to do. All my catholic friends’, including sisters’, husbands have had one so I don’t really have a support system for nfp. My in-laws also make comments on my nfp ways.