Non-Catholic Mom is dying. What can I do?

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UPDATE: I talked to my Mom, and asked if she would like to have a priest visit her. I said he can help talk to you and get you better prepared. She said, no, I’ve talked to people and have been thinking on my own as well, I’m not worried.

I didn’t want to go into explaining the benefits of talking to a priest, and to explain apostolic succession, and ordination, etc., besides, she is so weak and confused at times, she would not understand. She really went downhill over the last few days. Today she was admitted to the hospital because of her weakness. My sister was having trouble taking care of her in this state. She was a major fall risk, so I’m glad she is in the care of professionals who can take better care of her.

In the end, I’m not too concerned about where she will spend eternity. The way I look at it, if the Pentecostal church canonized Saints, my Mom would be a slam-dunk. Then someday, people everywhere who are in need would say, “Saint Elaine, pray for us.”

My priest said something interesting when I was talking to him. He said he has known non-Catholics who use every bit of grace they are given, and live very holy lives, and he’s known some Catholics who have access to grace, but do not seem to bother to make use of it. This is a good point. I had never thought of it.

Anyway, thanks everyone for your prayers. If anything changes within fourteen days from now, I’ll let you know.
 
I talked to my Mom, and asked if she would like to have a priest visit her. I said he can help talk to you and get you better prepared. She said, no,
Great! Now put your mind at rest, you’ve done all in that regard you could.
she is so weak and confused at times, she would not understand.
I suggest you just be there for her, hold her hand if she is that type of woman, kiss her forehead when you arrive and when you leave and tell her you love her. If she is still able to take fluid by mouth, then fetch the glass of water from her beside jug & glass if there is one, otherwise go and ask one of the nurses for one.

Continue to pray for her - even the Saints needed prayers after they’d passed from this world. Pray not only for mercy etc, but for a peaceful death for her too.

Thank you for your kindness in updating us here. God bless you and your family, especially your mother.
 
Have you been able to say a mass for her? I wish I had said that in my post 10 days ago.
 
I haven’t yet. SuscipeMeDomine suggested that as well. As a convert, I’m not sure what that would do, but I will call my parish tomorrow to request that.

She has been getting better physically while in the hospital, (the I.V. fluids help a lot) but she is still kind of weak and seems to want to give up her will to live. I know she misses my Dad.

Thanks for thinking of me.
 
I haven’t yet. SuscipeMeDomine suggested that as well. As a convert, I’m not sure what that would do, but I will call my parish tomorrow to request that.
Hugs. It’ll bring a peace to you and may bring a peace to your mom even if she has no clue you had a mass said for her.

If your local parish is unable to say a daily mass in the next couple of weeks, I’d call other parishes to potentially get a mass said for her. And it’s okay if you’re unable to attend that mass - it still says you thought about your mom. If you are able to and only as an act of charity, I’d suggest giving $5-15 to have a mass said on her behalf.

Just because she’s appears to be getting better, make sure to still say a mass. Good luck.
 
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On the off chance that you can’t have a Mass said timely in your area (sometimes their Mass intention books get filled up), you can request them online, which is what I usually do.

If you have Facebook Messenger, you can go to Missio.org and request a Mass via Messenger - a popup will appear asking if you want to request a Mass and you just go through the steps. A priest in the Missions will then say the Mass for you, usually within a few days.

Another handy online alternative is the Seraphic Mass Association at mymassrequest.org .

You can also attend Mass yourself and offer your Mass and communion for your mom.
 
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On the off chance that you can’t have a Mass said timely in your area (sometimes their Mass intention books get filled up), you can request them online, which is what I usually do.
Thanks for the heads up. In my area, it can take up to 3 months to say a DAILY mass for a person.
You can also attend Mass yourself and offer your Mass and communion for your mom.
What a beautiful gift! That’s a great idea too.
 
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Yeah, I like to have Masses said pretty regularly and Missio’s Messenger app has been very helpful. I get a little popup with which priest is saying Mass, when and where in the world, and then I can click a link to read more about him and contribute to his mission if I want.
 
I’m currently going through something similar and ordered a couple of green scapulars and a priest blessed them yesterday. Do a google search on green scapular. The great thing about it is that the person doesn’t have to accept it- You can place it in their belongings or near to them. You,or the person, has to recite at least one “Immaculate heart of Mary pray for us now and at the hour of our death”, per day.
 
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We can do our part, but we CANNOT convert anyone, only
God can, if we do everything that our formed conscience
tells us we should do, and unless the person dying curses
God and man while dying and shows remorse at their mortal
sins, then they can be sure of Heaven.
 
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We can do our part, but we CANNOT convert anyone, only
God can, if we do everything that our formed conscience
tells us we should do, and unless the person dying curses
God and man while dying and shows remorse at their mortal
sins, then they can be sure of Heaven.
There may be no need for conversion - sounds like they were devout Protestant Christians. Has the individual loved God and loved neighbor? I find the concept of mortal sin very confusing because it must be grave matter. However, it is hard to know when someone is truly ignorant of Catholic teaching or rebellious of Catholic teaching. Simply hearing Catholic teaching doesn’t mean you genuinely understand it and reject it. For someone whom would likely be rebellious, wouldn’t it be better that they stayed ignorant rather than hearing Catholic teaching, reject it, and be at risk of going to Hell? I think God allows some people to remain ignorant because they’re not ready to hear the full truth.

Have they confessed to God their mortal sins?
 
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I was able to get my Mom on schedule for Sunday December 8, and while I was at it, I put my Dad down for one in January.

What @Tis_Bearself said about offering your Mass and communion is an interesting idea as well.
 
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