non-Catholic wedding participation

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Is it a mortal sin to participate as a Best Man in a non-Catholic wedding where the Catholic groom has refused to sign a dispensation?

Is it a mortal sin for the father of the groom to rent and wear a tuxedo that matches the wedding party for this same wedding?
 
I would not be a best man (or ordinarily even show up at all) at a wedding that is going to be invalid…

Especially since the “Best Man” is a particularly important and official role…

I would decline with charity…but truth and charity go together. And with prudence etc…

So if by “refusing to sign a dispensation” such means that he in effect does not have a dispensation…I would not ordinarily be showing my face at all…

Oh and yes …I would think that knowingly being a best man at an invalid marriage…would be getting into the grave area …
 
I suppose if there were any sin I could see scandal as being a possibility. “Catholic best man approves of non-Catholic wedding” or something to that effect.
 
Catechism of the Catholic Church

1868 Sin is a personal act. Moreover, we have a responsibility for the sins committed by others when we cooperate in them:
  • by participating directly and voluntarily in them;
  • by ordering, advising, praising, or approving them;
  • by not disclosing or not hindering them when we have an obligation to do so;
  • by protecting evil-doers.
vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/__P6D.HTM
 
Thank you for your good help and advice. This is our son’s wedding. My husband has decided to attend and I have been instructed to be obedient to him, so will also be attending. My question is whether we are all committing mortal sins. We (the Best Man, my husband and myself) will be attending Mass (out of town) the next day so need to know whether we can receive Holy Eucharist without being able to receive the Sacrament of Confession. Thank you.
 
No, IMHO attending is no sin at all, let alone not a mortal sin.

I have had some SERIOUS disagreements over wedding issues with others on this board.
Some observations:

The"situation" is not ideal but he’s your son. Consider what will happen if you DON’T attend:
a. Your non-appearance will fuel flames of anti-Catholic stereotypes of Catholics as sin-obsessed or hardhearted.
b. Son presumably only gets 1 wedding…if you miss it, you may be severing a family tie irreparably. Good luck seeing any grandkids…ever.

Contrast this with the dogmatic and IMHO overly legalistic kneejerk reaction some folks have of, “the marriage is invalid so I would refuse to attend!” IMHO, such a reaction is…dogmatic and overly legalistic (to say nothing of potentially wrong vis-a-vis the invalidity).

Some will quote the Catechism. I’d prefer the Beatitudes. Or just, “love your neighbor.” Does not going make you a peacemaker? Does not going = love? IMHO, NO. It makes you…overly legalistic.

Others will counter with some permutation of, “if you take a stand, and not go, you will be respected.” I respond, “don’t act like a jerk and expected to be treated as a non-jerk.” IMHO, refusing to attend your own son’s wedding falls into the category of “being a jerk.” Moreover, it is a major, life-changing decision which has serious negative consequences and cannot be undone.

So I vote “go.” And feel NO guilt.
 
Bookcat said:
I would not be a best man (or ordinarily even show up at all) at a wedding that is going to be invalid…

Especially since the “Best Man” is a particularly important and official role…

I would decline with charity…but truth and charity go together. And with prudence etc…

So if by “refusing to sign a dispensation” such means that he in effect does not have a dispensation…I would not ordinarily be showing my face at all…

Oh and yes …I would think that knowingly being a best man at an invalid marriage…would be getting into the grave area …
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Agreed. Attending is questionable and probably depends on the circumstances, but the Best Man is an official witness certifying the validity of what he knows to be invalid.
 
kaysie said:
Thank you for your good help and advice. This is our son’s wedding. My husband has decided to attend and I have been instructed to be obedient to him, so will also be attending. My question is whether we are all committing mortal sins. We (the Best Man, my husband and myself) will be attending Mass (out of town) the next day so need to know whether we can receive Holy Eucharist without being able to receive the Sacrament of Confession. Thank you.
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So you wouldn’t go to your own son’s wedding if your husband didn’t tell you to do so? Wow…over the top.
 
kaysie said:
Thank you for your good help and advice. This is our son’s wedding. My husband has decided to attend and I have been instructed to be obedient to him, so will also be attending. My question is whether we are all committing mortal sins. We (the Best Man, my husband and myself) will be attending Mass (out of town) the next day so need to know whether we can receive Holy Eucharist without being able to receive the Sacrament of Confession. Thank you.
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Sorry to hear it is your son.

So he did or did not get the dispensation to get married in a non-Catholic form??

If it will be in invalid marriage…as you know…no one will be getting married. So one should not pretend that it is… But this sort of close family situation is a very difficult one.

I think you need to seek more in depth counsel…personal one on one conversation…perhaps call the Catholic Answers Apologists.
 
Commonsense,
No, I wouldn’t go to my own son’s wedding in this case, because it is not really a wedding and will not be a day to celebrate. My husband is not telling me to go, but asking me to attend with him. Our priest (who has advised us not to go) has asked me to be obedient to my husband.

Bookcat,
Thanks for your help. I will take your good advice and call an apologist tomorrow. Our son did not sign the dispensation because he claims he and his future non-Catholic wife don’t want to agree to bring up their potential children in the Catholic faith
 
kaysie said:
Bookcat,
Thanks for your help. I will take your good advice and call an apologist tomorrow. Our son did not sign the dispensation because he claims he and his future non-Catholic wife don’t want to agree to bring up their potential children in the Catholic faith
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She does NOT have to agree to raise the Children Catholic…he has do promise to do all in his power to raise them Catholic…but she does not have to promise anything…

Canon Law:

1/ the Catholic party is to declare that he or she is prepared to remove dangers of defecting from the faith and is to make a sincere promise to do all in his or her power so that all offspring are baptized and brought up in the Catholic Church;

2/ the other party is to be informed at an appropriate time about the promises which the Catholic party is to make, in such a way that it is certain that he or she is truly aware of the promise and obligation of the Catholic party;
as to your attending…I can not advise you to far …you need better advisers 🙂

I myself do not show up if God is not going to show up…(stole this from Jimmy Akin)

Here is an article though: cuf.org/faithfacts/details_view.asp?ffID=137
 
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