non-Catholics and confession

[NeedingTruth]

I am a nondenom who is considering converting to Catholicism. However, one of the things that is holding me back is that I am absolutely terrified about first Confession (trust me, I have some horrible things to confess); I know what everyone says (“Don’t worry, the priest has heard it all before, he’s probably not even going to remember later…”), but I can’t help it! I will probably be reduced to a mental wreck if I have to wait through more than a few weeks of RCIA for first confession because I know for a fact I will be worrying and obsessing about it the entire time. For this reason, I’d rather just get it over with, and then go through the RCIA process.

As I understand it from other threads I have read here, a baptized non-Catholic Christian can go to confession but not receive absolution. Can they receive the absolution separately at a later time after joining, or would they have to confess all over again? If I have to have confession and absolution together, when is the absolute earliest this could happen?

 

[Sarika]

“Be not afraid”. You absolutely do not have to make your first confession (or ANY confession after that) to any particular priest( you can go to any parish), nor do you have to go face-to-face. Be upfront with your priest and say “I’m more comfortable making my confession anonymously” (which is the case for most people - don’t single yourself out as the only big sinner in the world). Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m under the impression that all you have to do is tell the priest (who will be on the other side of a screen) that it is your first confession, and then proceed from there.
You don’t have to go to your own parish. “Do not let your hearts be troubled”.

 

[Sarika]

I hope the information I gave above is correct. If there are any RCIA people out there who know differently, please correct me.

 

[Aelred_Minor]

My two cents is that, in any case, do be sure to get instruction on how to make a confession, even if you think you know how from books. I’m a convert and didn’t receive enough instruction on how to go to confession, and ended up confessing embarrassing things that I really didn’t need to, or in greater detail than I needed to. On the other hand it would be possible to leave too much out and risk an absolution of questionable validity, which would be much worse.

This sort of preparation for confession and opportunity to ask questions in advance would presumably be included in your RCIA program (it was in mine, but wasn’t enough; I dare say it was a sub-par RCIA in most ways though, and I’ve heard of many good experiences with the program), so if you received permission to do your confession early you would need to get the instruction somewhere else.

Let me add, by the way, that despite how messy and stressful the act of actually confessing was for me, hearing the absolution and walking home afterwards I experienced a great peace and joy, as if (to use a cliché but very apt figure of speech) a weight had been lifted from my shoulders, or as if I and the whole world had been remade. Don’t forget, “where sin abounds, grace abounds all the more”.

 

[Aelred_Minor]

I hope the information I gave above is correct. If there are any RCIA people out there who know differently, please correct me.

Everything you said sounded right to me. My priest in RCIA specifically told us we didn’t have to go to confession to him but could go to any Catholic priest if we felt more comfortable.

 

[Sarahforgiven]

I had some horrible things too & 1 big sin weighing on my soul. I felt the need to go & confess. I just called on the phone to the office & said, I need to make an appt. for my first confession, I even asked for Kleenex. The receptionist was so great. They understand.
My first confession with the priest at our parish & was so nervous about the " biggy" I made it through that, but wasn’t finished.
I did 4 confessions before my confirmation, & gained abolition & wisdom with each one. after my home priest I did confess outside my parish once at a cathedral while away on business & once in our same town, but a different church.

I do recommend a preparation or examination of consciousness. I used the 10 commandments & the beatitudes & yes I took notes. I felt like I could not put 45 years into one confession. The contrition was a real key. I think preparation is important.

Each time I told the priest my situation I.e. I am a RCIA candidate & this is my 1st, 2nd, 3rd confession. This helps them understand you are new to the sacrament & they are great about helping you with the sacrament