Non-Catholics and Eucharist?

[LoveTheChurch]

Hi all! I love reading the forums but this is my first post. I actually registered just for the purpose of asking about this situation because it is bothering me so much…

Two friends of mine who know that I am Catholic and regularly attend mass told me a few days ago that they want to go to Easter Mass with me tomorrow. I was so excited because I always go to mass by myself (no Catholic friends or family in the area) and also because I thought it would be a great opportunity to share the faith. One of the friends is baptized Catholic but not practicing and the other is not any religion that I know of, but very into New Age, horscopes, etc.

So last night they were talking about going to church with me and the non-Catholic friend said “Oh I know how to take communion and everything too so I’m all set” and started imitating how to hold your hands to receive the Eucharist. The inactive Catholic friend and I both explained that only Catholics could receive Communion and the non-Catholic friend responded with “Oh well Sister ‘so-and-so’ said I could so I can.” I explained that a nun didn’t have the authority to say that and she responded with “Oh well Father ‘so-and-so’ also said I could so its fine.” I explained again that even a priest doesn’t have that authority, its a tenet of the faith, etc and my non-practicing Catholic friend agreed with me. Then I said something about how the non-practicing Catholic friend wouldn’t be receiving either (thinking the non-Catholic friend just didn’t want to feel ‘left out’) but that they could both receive a blessing from the priest. Then the inactive Catholic friend got defensive and asked why I said he couldn’t receive. This friend is openly homosexual (his boyfriend was standing there during this conversation actually) and has told me that he hasn’t been to mass or confession in years. Before I even answered he started talking about how the Bible doesn’t specifically outlaw homosexuality, etc. I interrupted him and said that even besides the homoesexuality issue, intentionally missing mass is a mortal sin and you aren’t supposed to receive Communion if you’ve missed mass and haven’t confessed.

So here’s my dilemma - I really don’t want either of these friends to come to Mass with me tomorrow because I’m afraid both may try to receive Communion and I feel like they aren’t reverently wanting to go, just kind of looking at it as a fun thing to do on Easter. I know that having explained to them the rules about receiving, that if they chose to do so anyway, the sin would be theirs. But I also know that if they didn’t come to mass with me, they wouldn’t go on their own, so then the issue of receiving wouldn’t exist. So I’m torn - ‘un-inviting’ them doesn’t seem like a very Christian thing to do, but I also don’t want to bring them with me if they are going to view the rules and beliefs of the faith as a joke. Any advice?

 

[puzzleannie]

you can’t “uninvite” them, the Mass is a public event open to everyone. You have explained very well the rules about reception of communion, you can make it clear that you will take their reception of communion as a direct insult to you and your faith, and express the surety that they would never do such thing to a friend.

 

[mr_mister1983]

It’s good to see there are still some Catholics who believe in absolutes. You could try to explain to them that what you told them was in the spirit of charity, they will probably still think of it as offensive. You are in a battle with liberalism. Unfortunately, the Church has brought this on herself with the “new evangelization” movement.
Just stick to your guns because in the end when their lives are reviewed by God, they were instructed with christian charity about the state of their souls so to speak, and how they reacted to your rebuking them determined which road they will take, the broad-anything goes path or the narrow path to salvation. Your soul will also be judged and in this instance in your life, you stood up for Jesus and His Church.

 

[havemercy]

It isn’t your fault if they took communion. You warned them. Now its their burden.

 

[jmcrae]

I know exactly how you feel. I have friends and even close relatives that I don’t invite to Mass, simply because I know they will abuse the Eucharist in some way. I wish they could show the same respect for our customs and traditions that they would show for anyone else’s.

I ditto Puzzle Annie’s advice - make them understand that it is offensive to you, personally.

Also, don’t buy what they said about “Father so-and-so said I could.”

I got that line from someone quite recently, and the name given happened to be a priest that I work with quite closely - I watched her face turn several shades of red, as I got out my phone and called him to verify that he had, indeed, told her she could do this thing she proposed to do - the reaction from Father (which she was able to hear through the phone) was, “Are you crazy??!! NO, I never told her to do that. I forbid her to do that!!!”

I just looked at her and said, “He doesn’t seem to remember the conversation,” and we just carried on from there in the way that I had originally planned.

 

[drafdog]

Your lapsed Catholic friend should be allowed to receive the Sacrament if his own conscience permits him to do so in good faith. We cannot judge one another. You have made it clear that you don’t agree and let that be enough. Remember that our job is to love the people whom the Father has placed in our lives. The Church has room for all of us regardless of how sinful we may be. After all, the sole requirement for entry into the Church is that we are sinners. Once we have done our part by welcoming them in, let us see that they are educated in the faith through frequent attendance at Mass and the other Sacraments.

Matthew

 

[LoveTheChurch]

Thanks for the responses everyone!
An update on what happened:
The inactive Catholic friend did end up coming to Mass with me along with another friend that I think is Catholic but I’m not sure. The non-Catholic friend didn’t end up going. Both of my friends did receive Communion, but as everyone here has said, that was up to them. I know that the inactive Catholic friend knows the requirements of receiving, as he went through 12 years of Catholic school and we’ve discussed it before. So what he chose to do is between him and God, not me.
Both of my friends were very grateful that I invited them to church and said they were really happy that they came. That was what I was hoping for anyway - that it would be a good experience for them and maybe lead them back to the Church.

Drafdog - I definitely do agree with what you said about loving the people that God places in our lives and I’m striving to do that. This statement though: “Your lapsed Catholic friend should be allowed to receive the Sacrament if his own conscience permits him to do so in good faith.” I have never heard that before - I thought that the requirements for receiving were more direct, that a Catholic who knows they have committed a mortal sin and not confessed it. commits ANOTHER mortal sin by receiving the Eucharist.

Again, thanks to everyone for your thoughts!

 

[jmcrae]

I thought that the requirements for receiving were more direct, that a Catholic who knows they have committed a mortal sin and not confessed it. commits ANOTHER mortal sin by receiving the Eucharist.

That’s what I always thought, too.