Non-Catholics: If you could change anything (NOT THEOLOGICAL) about the Catholic Church what would it be?

  • Thread starter Thread starter JustaServant
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
I guess he must be a lucky one then, at one of the Parrish’s that we went to they noted the non-Catholic spouses in the directory/communication with asterisks, etc… and not really how our current one seems to operate.

My wife and I are both in agreement and in today’s day and age of the more common mixed marriage, it would go a long way if there was any way that the Catholic Church passed some sort of olive branch to make the non-Catholic spouses feel more welcome or more part of the Church/service.
This might not even need to be said, but I’ll say it anyhow: there are some parishes that would understand welcoming/olive branch to mean seeking your conversion to RCism. (Maybe I should say “Be careful what you wish for.” ;))
 
This might not even need to be said, but I’ll say it anyhow: there are some parishes that would understand welcoming/olive branch to mean seeking your conversion to RCism. (Maybe I should say “Be careful what you wish for.” ;))
And to that I’d say, “why would one need to convert to be welcome or does the olive branch need to be conversion”, honestly, that expresses my point.

Just a thought/observation that in today’s day and age of more and more mixed marriages that a change to be more inclusionary of the non-Catholic spouse would be a change I’d make, to answer the question in the OP.
 
The biggest change I would make: I would get rid of all Catholic faith schools. Children should be taught about religions - all the major religions - and should then make an informed decision around the age of 15 whether or not they wish to join one.
This is a particular example of the idea that education is indoctrination and indoctrination is bad. Education is in fact indoctrination but indoctrination is not bad. It is what everyone does and what any system, even yours would do.

We don’t let kids just figure it out about most things. Any sort of education is promoting an ideology. That would even include a so called open minded education. Such an education promotes as a value open mindedness. But these systems are always self contradictory and defeating because there is always within it the rejection of not only the idea that not being open minded is bad, but also most often specific stances on issues like homosexuality, sex, characteristics of the sexes, race, religion and more.

In regards to the specific issue of religion who would determine what constitutes a major religion? Why only the major religions? Maybe the minor religions haven’t gotten a fair shake? What is the authoritative source for information about a particular religion? All of these issues would be decided by a man or committee of men using their own value system. This is another form of indoctrination. All that is changed is who makes the decision about what will be indoctrinated.
 
I guess he must be a lucky one then, at one of the Parrish’s that we went to they noted the non-Catholic spouses in the directory/communication with asterisks, etc… and not really how our current one seems to operate.

My wife and I are both in agreement and in today’s day and age of the more common mixed marriage, it would go a long way if there was any way that the Catholic Church passed some sort of olive branch to make the non-Catholic spouses feel more welcome or more part of the Church/service.

If I could change something, that is what it’d be. Now granted, it sounds like I/we haven’t exactly had the best of luck with Parrish’s and their beliefs/regards of non-Catholics either.
Short of receiving communion, what needs to change in the Catholic mass that would make the outsider feel more welcomed. My husband is also not catholic, but when he attends mass with me I truly dont see how he is excluded. He participates in the same prayers, he hears the same readings, gives the same sign of peace that everyone else in the church is also participating in. After the mass he also welcomed to the same coffee hour that other catholic families are also participating in. This is a legitimate question, short of receiving communion…how are outsiders excluded from the Catholic mass?
 
Short of receiving communion, what needs to change in the Catholic mass that would make the outsider feel more welcomed. My husband is also not catholic, but when he attends mass with me I truly dont see how he is excluded. He participates in the same prayers, he hears the same readings, gives the same sign of peace that everyone else in the church is also participating in. After the mass he also welcomed to the same coffee hour that other catholic families are also participating in. This is a legitimate question, short of receiving communion…how are outsiders excluded from the Catholic mass?
I know that question isn’t for me, but from what I’ve read here and on another thread, I believe the complaint is about the people, not about the mass.
 
And to that I’d say, “why would one need to convert to be welcome or does the olive branch need to be conversion”,
That’s a fair question, but you’d have to ask those parishes I guess.
 
Short of receiving communion, what needs to change in the Catholic mass that would make the outsider feel more welcomed. My husband is also not catholic, but when he attends mass with me I truly dont see how he is excluded. He participates in the same prayers, he hears the same readings, gives the same sign of peace that everyone else in the church is also participating in. After the mass he also welcomed to the same coffee hour that other catholic families are also participating in. This is a legitimate question, short of receiving communion…how are outsiders excluded from the Catholic mass?
I agree, both my husbands were converts. My first husband 6 years after we were married and one year before he died in an accident. When we had our 3rd baby baptized, he asked Father what he would have to do to become Catholic. He never felt excluded but he did want to join us in our faith so we would be a “whole family” as he put it. My second husband converted before our marriage. If anyone “feels” excluded in any way I think it is because they know they cannot receive Communion. Sometimes that is what draws them into the Faith, the desire to receive Our Lord. My sister-in-law is from Spain and when her family was visiting her and I was there, they could only speak Spanish. I could not understand them at all so I “felt” excluded. It wasn’t their fault and they were all very nice but unless my sister-in-law told me what they were saying I just sat there listening. Feeling excluded, does not mean you are getting a cold shoulder. Sometimes the situation isn’t the time or place for socializing, such as during Mass. God Bless. Memaw
 
Short of receiving communion, what needs to change in the Catholic mass that would make the outsider feel more welcomed. My husband is also not catholic, but when he attends mass with me I truly dont see how he is excluded. He participates in the same prayers, he hears the same readings, gives the same sign of peace that everyone else in the church is also participating in. **After the mass he also welcomed to the same coffee hour that other catholic families are also participating in. **This is a legitimate question, short of receiving communion…how are outsiders excluded from the Catholic mass?
Well, to start with the bolded, I was not. My wife and children are invited by name to our Parrish’s and past Parrish’s activities/events, but I am not. In the directory and in Church communication the names of non-Catholic “members” are asterisked to indicate such. IMHO, that is pretty exclusionary so I don’t feel welcome at the Church.

I don’t want to talk Mass or Communion. Ya, is it not fun not getting communion after I waited 19 years until I was ready to be Baptized. Yep. Do I understand why I’m not welcome to the table in the Catholic Church…yep. That still doesn’t make it fun, but it is what it is. I just don’t like being left in the pew on display by myself.🤷, but that’s the kind of person I am.

It sounds like you belong to a Parrish that is more open, where it looks like the one we’re at isn’t, but that’s the experience that I have to go off of.
 
I know that question isn’t for me, but from what I’ve read here and on another thread, I believe the complaint is about the people, not about the mass.
Not even people, but some certain practices that I’ve experienced. Seems like they may be more specific to the Parrish my family goes to in the predominantly Catholic city I now live in. By my experiences laid out in the post above, some of those non-theological practices would be something that I would change.

TBH, some of the comments I’ve read on here about/towards non-Catholics while I was lurking to do some research didn’t really give me warm and fuzzies about going to Mass either 😊

Honestly, this is a tough time right now as my oldest prepares for first communion next spring and I (and my family) can’t be a part of it.
 
Well, to start with the bolded, I was not. My wife and children are invited by name to our Parrish’s and past Parrish’s activities/events, but I am not. In the directory and in Church communication the names of non-Catholic “members” are asterisked to indicate such. IMHO, that is pretty exclusionary so I don’t feel welcome at the Church.

If we want to talk Mass itself, we can, but I never singled it out and I think it would be off topic in this thread.

It sounds like you belong to a Parrish that is more open, where it looks like the one we’re at isn’t, but that’s the experience that I have to go off of.
When in your initial post you mentioned the Catholic Church service my mind went to the Catholic mass…it was my confusion and I apologize, that is why I replied about the catholic mass.
 
40.png
EasterJoy:
Should we teach our children about all the different countries in the world and then when they turn 15 years old let them decide whether or not to accept their natural citizenship, too? If they renounce citizenship in the US of A, should we force them to become citizens of some other country, or just let them wander as citizens of nowhere?
No, I don’t think that’s a sensible suggestion. Did you think it was, or were you trying to make some point? If so, it eludes me.
 
When in your initial post you mentioned the Catholic Church service my mind went to the Catholic mass…it was my confusion and I apologize, that is why I replied about the catholic mass.
No worries. I think it’s more some of the opinions I’ve received that make me feel uneasy at Mass, more than the Mass itself.
 
40.png
exnihilo:
All of these issues would be decided by a man or committee of men using their own value system. This is another form of indoctrination.
No more so than decisions made by any other committee of education professionals answerable to the representatives of the electorate. And, incidentally, there should be women on the committee too.

My principal objection to a religious education at such a young age is that much of the material can’t be properly understood or evaluated by the children. Looking back at how I was taught about the Trinity, transubstantiation, heaven and hell, and a host of other things, I am left with the conclusion that it was time that could have been better spent on teaching other more useful things.
 
No more so than decisions made by any other committee of education professionals answerable to the representatives of the electorate. And, incidentally, there should be women on the committee too.

My principal objection to a religious education at such a young age is that much of the material can’t be properly understood or evaluated by the children. Looking back at how I was taught about the Trinity, transubstantiation, heaven and hell, and a host of other things, I am left with the conclusion that it was time that could have been better spent on teaching other more useful things.
I think that the majority of catholic families send their children to catholic school to supplement the catholic teachings that they are teaching their children at home. That is top on my list as to why I send my child to catholic school…to be immersed in our catholic culture and grow in our faith, otherwise I’d might as well send him to a public school. Your suggestions sound counterintuitive as to what Im deciding as a parent, what I want for my child.
 
Well, to start with the bolded, I was not. My wife and children are invited by name to our Parrish’s and past Parrish’s activities/events, but I am not.
Wow. I would not go to a parish that did that to any family (whether I knew the family or not).
TBH, some of the comments I’ve read on here about/towards non-Catholics while I was lurking to do some research didn’t really give me warm and fuzzies about going to Mass either 😊
Continuing my above thought, if this forum were a parish (if you’ll pardon me for bending reality a little bit) I wouldn’t go to it either.
 
Wow. I would not go to a parish that did that to any family (whether I knew the family or not).

Continuing my above thought, if this forum were a parish (if you’ll pardon me for bending reality a little bit) I wouldn’t go to it either.
Ya, it took me a year or two to figure that one out. We had a Parrish festival and the handful of us non-Catholics weren’t included in the bulleten where everyone else (even people that go to Mass 2-3 times a year) were included w/ a responsibility. That’s the same Parrish that gave all the non-Catholics the scarlet asterisk.

Seems where we’re at now “may” be becoming more liberal to non-Catholics after the Father who really didn’t like non-Catholics in the Parrish left.
 
Hostility towards non-catholics is a dumb attitude. How on earth could anyone convert if they were not allowed to step foot in the church? Non-catholic spouses that attend Mass are sitting ducks. All it would take is a friendly attitude and a bit of a nudge and many of them probably would convert. Parishes need income and they need people for various ministries. Everyone walking through the door who is not familiar needs to be made to feel welcome and encouraged to come back.
 
Non-catholic spouses that attend Mass are sitting ducks.
You could be right; but just for the record, I’ve attended a large number of PNCC masses – and a fair number of Orthodox liturgies, not to mention Anglican and Lutheran – and have never converted.
 
Not even people, but some certain practices that I’ve experienced. Seems like they may be more specific to the Parrish my family goes to in the predominantly Catholic city I now live in. By my experiences laid out in the post above, some of those non-theological practices would be something that I would change.

TBH, some of the comments I’ve read on here about/towards non-Catholics while I was lurking to do some research didn’t really give me warm and fuzzies about going to Mass either 😊

Honestly, this is a tough time right now as my oldest prepares for first communion next spring and I (and my family) can’t be a part of it.
Why can’t you be part of it? I’ve seen many times during first communion where a parent appears to be either non-Catholic or unable to receive for some reason (can’t tell from where I sit). There doesn’t seem to be any attempt to exclude those parents/family members.

If you are uncomfortable in your parish why not change?
 
Millie 123:
I think that the majority of catholic families send their children to catholic school to supplement the catholic teachings that they are teaching their children at home. That is top on my list as to why I send my child to catholic school…to be immersed in our catholic culture and grow in our faith, otherwise I’d might as well send him to a public school. Your suggestions sound counterintuitive as to what I’m deciding as a parent, what I want for my child.
I have little doubt that you are right about the motivation for sending children to Catholic schools. The difficulty I see is with what you describe as the desire for the child to “grow in our faith”. In my view, a child cannot have true faith until they are old enough to understand it properly. Children will have faith in many things, but it is blind faith until they are able to properly employ reason.

I don’t see blind faith as a commendable thing. Hence my opinion that it would be better to teach children about religious beliefs when they are old enough to understand it. A parent’s wish for their child to grow up with appropriate moral values seems eminently sensible. But not so to wish that their child grows up blindly believing the same things that they do.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top