Non-Catholics Standing up for you in a Catholic Wedding

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dfritz0927

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I have a friend whose mother is Catholic and is getting married to another Catholic in the church. However, her priest has told her that non-Catholics are not allowed to stand up with her at the wedding. I have never heard of this before–is this a traditional Catholic rule?
 
I’m kind of confused by your wording. By stand up do you mean standing during the Mass or standing up as witnesses (bridesmaids or groomsmen)?

I think if the priest was saying non-Catholics cannot stand up during the Mass he was incorrect. I’ve never heard of non-Catholics being excluded from the Mass except for the receiving of the Eucharist for obvious reasons.

But if by stand up you mean having non-Catholics as groomsmen or bridesmaids I’ve never heard of this being an issue. I wonder if maybe in the instance you’ve mentioned they are not allowed to stand up for her because of questionable choices in their life (i.e. living in sin) or if there are other issues we are not aware of? 🤷

I’ve been doing research on Catholic weddings as I am newly engaged and converting to Catholicism in RCIA classes at my local parish. 😃 I haven’t run into this as an issue in my research though. My entire family is protestant and I have two sisters who I have always since I was a young girl wanted to be my bridesmaids. They are not Catholic and one is not a Christian, but I would have both of them stand up for me because they have always been my best friends with me through everything in life. Could the priest tell me they cannot stand up for me at my wedding because of this? I’m hoping this is not the case… 😦

What are reasons why a priest would tell you not to use the bridesmaids you’ve decided on?

If this wasn’t the intent of this thread I’ll move my questions elsewhere as to not hijack the thread! 😉
 
My priest never even asked our witnesses’ religion and nowhere in the pre-nuptial paperwork is that question asked in my diocese.

Unlike sponsors at a baptism or confirmation, the witnesses have no role beyond standing there and signing a few papers. They don’t have an active role in the ceremony itself and could be complete strangers who will never be seen again. Their religion is irrelevant.
 
My daughter is not a Catholic, although she is respectful and considering conversion, and she believes many of the teachings of the Catholic Church, including the True Presence of Jesus in the Most Blessed Sacrament of the Altar…

She was the Matron of Honor for one of her best friend’s weddings earlier this summer. The bride was a religion major at a Catholic university and teaches religion at a Catholic high school. The groom is a candidate for his PhD in religion at the same Catholic university. They are devout Catholics who attended daily Mass throughout their college years and talk openly about their commitment to life. I couldn’t have asked for a better friend for my daughter, who attends the same Catholic college.

She did a good job as the Matron of Honor and fulfilled all of her responsibilities in a timely fashion. She took all of her duties seriously and worked hard to make sure that the bride had a memorable and peaceful wedding. The brides’ parents were pleased and grateful for all of her hard work and friendship.

My daughter sang “Panis Angelicus” for the wedding (Communion song), and apparently people were touched to the point of tears.

The bride originally had a Catholic Maid of Honor, but “fired” her after the girl did nothing. She wanted someone that she could trust standing up for her.

It seems to me that priests who perform hundreds of weddings know what the rules of the Church are, and we should trust them to obey those rules.
 
dfritz0927 said:
I have a friend whose mother is Catholic and is getting married to another Catholic in the church. However, her priest has told her that non-Catholics are not allowed to stand up with her at the wedding. I have never heard of this before–is this a traditional Catholic rule?
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If this is indeed a rule then it is specific to the particular parish and/or the particular diocese.

I know plenty of people who were married recently and the Best Man or Maid/Matron of Honor was not even baptized, let along Catholic.
 
Canon law on the subject:

Can. 1108 §1 Only those marriages are valid which are contracted in the presence of the local Ordinary or parish priest or of the priest or deacon delegated by either of them, who, in the presence of two witnesses, assists, in accordance however with the rules set out in the following canons, and without prejudice to the exceptions mentioned in canon 144, 1112 §1, 1116 and 1127 §2¬3.

Note that there is NO mention that the witnesses must be Catholic. Our daughter was just married by a very orthodox priest, in our Cathedral, with a non-Catholic best man.

Priests shouldn’t be making arbitrary rules that aren’t supported by Canon law.
 
Neither my maid of honor nor my husband’s best man were Catholic. We were never asked for their religious affilitation.
 
My fiance’s and my deacon never asked if our groomsmen/bridesmaids were Catholic or not. We did however joke when I volunteered that my bridal party includes a Buddhist, a Jew, and a Protestant. It does sound like the start of a really bad joke. He has not problems as long as they all support the marriage. :harp:

God Bless
 
I wonder if the priest was concerned that non-Catholic members of the wedding party might attempt to present themselves for communion. If that’s the case (and he may have had that happen in the past), then perhaps it should be explained that NO ONE who is NOT Catholic (whether a member of the wedding party, a family member, or a guest) will receive. I have heard of instances where a priest has invited everyone, regardless of their religious affiliation or state of soul, to receive communion at a wedding to “show support and unity” with the bride and groom, and this priest may be afraid that this might be expected.

I’d ask a few questions just to be sure where the priest is coming from.
 
dfritz0927 said:
I have a friend whose mother is Catholic and is getting married to another Catholic in the church. However, her priest has told her that non-Catholics are not allowed to stand up with her at the wedding. I have never heard of this before–is this a traditional Catholic rule?
Click to expand...
That sounds like a rule the priest made up. All three of DH’s groomsmen were non-Catholic (as is DH) and DH’s non-Catholic sister was one of my bridesmaids. We were married validly in the Church.
 
Thanks to everyone who has responded. I believe it is a consenses that it is not a “rule” to not allow a non-Catholic to be in your wedding. Thanks again and God Bless!
 
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