I waded in before, and have sat on the sidelines. Sorry, but I have to agree with the OP, that some of your comments have been offensive.
I will say it again - if you have not walked a mile in his moccasins (as you have said you are not divorced), then perhaps you should go a bit easy in telling him how his moccasins fit. I don’t know what “bigger issue” you think is on the OP’s mind (or should be) and that he is not addressing.
Having represented too many people in custody issues, I can guarantee that the OP is singing the same tune as my clients - they miss the daylights out of their children, and want to know if doing “X” when they do not have visitation rights at that specific moment is OK, Examples often include going to a church service where the child will be present with the other parent, going to a school recital when not having visitation at the same time, attending a sporting event the child is playing in when not during visitation… the list goes on.
One does not have to psychoanalyze the non-custodial parent about “other issues” being avoided. They want to see their child - a concept that any parent should be able to grasp, but which a non-divorced parent never has to struggle with - no judge has told you that you can only see your child for 48 hours twice a month.
This was not a particularly complex question. It was not about whether or not his lack of belief should bar him from playing. And to those who responded in that vein, I would point out that I have heard the Mormon Tabernacle Choir do beautiful choral work on Catholic music. I attended a parish for a number of years before I found out that the piano player was a Baptist. It never impacted his playing - he was very professional.
This was also not about the disparity of his beliefs and his daughter’s - guess what - Mass or no Mass, their beliefs are different. and if he has an ounce of wisdom, he will know that whatever he says is going to make it back to her mother as fast as she can get there, and he will act accordingly. And even if he does not use caution because of her mother, I would suspect this is a dad who respects his daughter enough that he is not going to start picking her beliefs apart. And the thread was not about that anyway.
The essence of this thread is that he misses his daughter and wants whatever little amount of time with her that he can add beyond the minimalist 48 hours twice a month. Not “other issues”, not disparity of cult, not whether a legitimate musician who is not Catholic can play music at Mass. He does not need pseudo psychological analysis about issues he is not confronting. He needs empathy, which is markedly missing.
