So now, because of a “small misinterpretation” by a layperson, I’m going to have a long uphill battle this year, trying to wade through whatever other nonsense has been drilled into the kids’ heads. We all have some influence over someone somewhere, and we need to either have a correct understanding or keep silent, even on some anonymous internet message board. Otherwise, the Church ends up being an incoherent mess, and it’s no wonder when people walk away in droves. Like Fladreamer for example. Look at his posts. This is a person we NEED in the Church, but he’s been missing for decades because enough “small misinterpretations” have piled up enough to form a mountain.
In all fairness, my crisis of faith runs very deep, multiple causes. The universe screams that there is a god, the CC screams that there is no God.
My own dad was never happy, a miserable man coming from a wretched background. He was always on a mission of some sort:give hope to the youth, work towards the triumph of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, Fr. Gobbi’s Marian Movement of Priests etc. He thought we were that close to Parousia, the antichrist, he thought all would be done by the year 2000. When I was a teen, I would always try to be around a couple of people to not be seen as an outcast, loner etc., but inside was shame, crushing hopelessness, crippling inadequacy, both my parents were insecure with money, so I could not take pride in being dressed well (not fancy, well). Life seemed dreary, dark, promising very little,
. I recall reading in the paper about a teen girl in a private school who had locked herself inside a bathroom stall and had set herself on fire. I understood that life can be unbearable to some, and that God allows life to be unbearable to some.
In 1997-1998 my life was in complete disarray, all-time low. I went to a Charismatic Catholic retreat, opening myself as fully as possible to God. Each person on the retreat had two volunteers who were assigned to them. One day’s theme was the occult. These two women prayed over me, it turned out I had occult ties or traces. Then came the old priest in charge of the retreat. Turned out I had NO occult ties or traces! During a group session, one of the ladies whispered to me: ‘I’ve prayed that you will experience the repose of the Holy Spirit at the end of the session.’’ I did not, but much to my shame, I had to fake what I thought was resting in the Spirit because a team of God-loving people were getting ready for me to drop into the paraclete’s holy arms
(you can’t make up stuff like that) When I realized this whole masquerade wasn’t going to do anything for me, I decided to drop the whole thing and wait it out in my room. One of the ladies came to my room and took me to the chapel, where everybody was gathering to worship a monstrance, she led me to the monstrance, perhaps expecting it to touch me powerfully. Now, in the staff there was this close-faced nun that would not give me the time of the day,
that is until the monstrance episode. Then she was full of solicitude!
When I left I was a religious freak for about a week, then I realized I’d just added another layer of misery to my already miserable life.
I wonder if God had a choice between fixing my NOT carefully and wonderfully made brain (frontal lobe fixed=no adhd, good executive memory=no anxiety, optimal neurotransmitter system=no depression) and my damnation, which one would he pick? See I’m now convinced that God has pulled a Job-like joke on me, but rather than being brutal and intense, it’s spread out over the course of a miserable, stagnant and tormented life. Say, the 5’‘2’ , 126 lbs man with a high-pitched voice and ‘‘grower’’ (rather than ‘‘show-er’’) genitalia is in for a long and tough life. His heart and emotional needs, need to belong, be respected and wanted are
exactly the same as the 6 ft 195lbs guy with ripped abs and an outgoing, and magnetic personality.
Hell, even my time in the womb wasn’t easy! Mom was under heavy stress and wished to no longer be pregnant. Goes to show God is sooo good all the time. I feel cherished by God’s tender care! Satan is out to steal, kill and destroy, but God should have known better than to leave me alone with an unleashed, hungry, angry Pit Bull around. Love you, God!
Neophyte, don’t worry about anyone missing, even if 80% of humankind is damned, you’ll be happy in heaven, and the thought of those millions of lost souls will only make you glorify God’s justice more. You’ll think he’s more awesome
because of it rather than *in spite *
of it. BTW and FWIW, you have all my admiration for stepping up to the plate and teaching God and religion to 2016 teens. God and religion are an extremely tough sell. God has organized things in such a way as to give of himself the lasting impression of someone you wish you had never heard the name of. I understand he’s multi-faceted. I got the lacking, stingy and poisonous facet. If I can convince myself that blood pudding, veal glands (sweetbread) and warm stagnant water are feasts for kings and manage to consume them everyday for another 50 years, I’ll get to be eternally united with the cook. Gosh, can’t wait.
A dream God.
Neophyte, do you think God purposefully created me or did my parents’ holy copulation led to a bunch of cells graciously ensouled by my loving God? Do you often surprise your wife, kids or best friend with a week end trip to a place they abhor, and then tell them off because they’re ungrateful to you? If they remain mad at you, do you build a small, unlit dungeon to keep them there for life? I know you don’t do any of these things (at least I hope so!), and in God’s word, you are evil, why can’t God be just as evil as a decent human being?
