How should I go about refuting these arguments? (One thing I have in mind is that sexual preference is preceded and necessarily formed by sexual experience.) There must be several secular arguments I can use to persuade someone (non-religious) to keep their virginity until marriage and I hope I can get some good (name removed by moderator)ut.
Hello friend, that’s a tough one but I will try my 2cents worth:
I cant recall all the details at the moment, but do some research into the hormones released during sex, their role in the body and interpersonal relationships, and the effect of multiple partners.
Sex therefore becomes an act of using the other person for self-gratification. Essentially masturbation using someone elses body.
For men in marriage sex=love. Outside I agree with everything above.
I like this explanation.
Love is a choice. NOT a “well they fill this need, so I will love them”.
You are absolutely right. I wish I hadn’t had those experiences but maybe I can use “my luggage” to help others by explaining how negative it is.
Amen.
This is extremely helpful, and I will do some research on the topic, but it will hold ground in my conversations with agnostics and atheists that rely heavily on such psychological data when it suits them. Thanks!
That’s a good view on the subject, but sadly, some people would say that saving your virginity for one person and having a happy married life do not constitute a complete life. They reject the idea of a complete life altogether.
Your first paragraph makes a good point. Thank you for that argument! To play devil’s advocate, the person would say that the reason for having premarital sex was to make sure they get the right person the first time, by trying out every last compatibility issue, (including the discovery of your prospective spouse’s sexual preferences, likes and dislikes) to avoid divorce, and to “marry the right person to begin with”. It’s a tricky circular argument for the supporter of premarital sex.
This is a great answer, it really explores the objectifying of sex outside of marriage, and the problems that come with premarital sex, and it solves several misunderstandings or confusions that I had.
Why do you feel the need to sell chastity to non-believers? The only arguments you can trade on that are not religious in nature is the STD issue, the possibility of pregnancy and the risk of engaging in something they may not be emotionally prepared for. Even then, the “until marriage” argument is on shaky ground. Most of these concerns apply more to teenagers. Most people these days don’t marry until at least their late 20s, so unless someone is religiously devout, emotionally stunted (or simply asexual), OR a germophobe, you’re not going to do much business selling chastity to adult singles…
Now THIS is completely ignorant. How would you like you bed down on your honeymoon and say, “hey honey, now that we’re married, I’m going to fantasize about ever yother person I slept with before you! I love you!”
I think all of this hinges on what sex actually is to someone. It seems that any argument in support of extramarital sex is based on an egocentric view of sex. What am I getting, how does it feel for me, what do I like, etc. I don’t think you’re going to be able to convince anyone of the value of waiting until marriage unless you first are able to at least get them to understand how the Catholic view of sex itself is self-giving. I think that, unless someone at least respects that view, they probably can come up with a counter argument for anything.
