Non-religious parents’ reaction to dating a catholic girl

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GunnerT

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I’ve dated a traditional catholic girl for 4 years and want to marry her. I have no religious affiliations and would be willing to convert. However, my parents are terrified that this would drive a wedge between me and them (they have no religion), and make me think of them as lesser. And obvious issues that arise with future children viewing my parents as different or inferior. My parents seem to resent my girlfriend for this, only now, and I think she feels this and is really upset
I know I love this girl, and want to marry her. Just wondering if there’s any advice for how to go about things in the future to make things easier
 
Do your parents like her?
Would you be converting because you believe what Catholicism teaches or just to “get the girl?”
How old are you? When you marry, you are one with your wife, not your parents, so I don’t understand the wedge comment.

What matters more, the girl you want to marry, or your parents? If you truly love her, you need to make things right with her. And you need to reassure your parents that you respect them, but want to marry her.
 
My parents like her as a person, the problem is with the religion. I’ve been learning about Catholicism and feel drawn towards it, but I love and respect my parents and don’t want to “go against them”, so to speak. But I just can’t see a life without this girl. I’m 25 by the way
 
What are they so afraid of if you find religion and they don’t though?
 
I guess they are worried that I will view them as lesser, or lost souls. My girlfriend is very traditionally catholic and my parents are worried it is extremist, and I’ll not want my kids to spend time with my parents as they are a bad influence. I think they’re worried they will lose me
 
Maybe you need to talk to your parents and reassure them those things won’t happen. But you need to talk to your girlfriend too because you both need to be on the same page about things.

Not sure what you mean by very traditionally Catholic either…
 
She’s part of a group within the church that practices the traditional Latin mass and rejects some of the modernist aspects of Catholicism. I’ve found the teachings of her group can be quite strict and extreme, but I don’t see these opinions come out in her. I guess my parents are worried I’ll change my way of thinking against them or my kids might be brainwashed against them or something
 
I think you need to decide why you would be converting first of all. Let your folks know you are merely investigating Catholicism.
 
I’d convert because from what I have explored so far, I see many positive aspects of Catholicism. It would also make a life with my girlfriend and future kids easier. I have reassured my parents and they seem to be somewhat understanding.
But now my girlfriend is distraught about what my parents think of her and her religion, and is too upset to see them and doesn’t want to come to our place for now. I’m struggling to manage the situation. I really appreciate your help
 
You need to talk to your girlfriend. I don’t know if you have discussed marriage with her yet or not, but perhaps go to mass with her, take out for breakfast afterward and have a long talk about your desire to convert.
 
We have and she knows my intentions. I suppose the main worry is what my parents think, and how my kids may potentially view my parents in the future. I guess I just have to try to manage the relationship between my girlfriend and parents, hopefully they can reconcile
 
Love is greater than these worries. If you are blessed with kids, they’ll love their grandparents either way.
 
Dear Gunner,
Ask you fiancée if she feels led by God to say something in love to your parents. Jess brings ppl in. He doesn’t push ppl away. We are all in a spiritual journey. Some take longer than others. It’s nice for you to convert. But do you believe. Before marriage go brought an RCIA program. Maybe your parents would like to go to understand. They don’t have to believe. She won’t reject them. I’m sure grand kids will know your parents. Do help your love address the issue w your parents. We are to love all ppl as Jesus does. Look up Ephesians 3: 14-17. It’s a prayer Paul says for his church. That’s you.
In Christ’s Love
Tweedlealice
 
Why are they worried? I assume their main experience would be your girlfriend. Would she have said or done anything that may have given them the impression that she sees them as lesser? I don’t believe she would have done so intentionally but actions or words can be misinterpreted.

I just feel that there is some reason or experience behind their fears and finding that out and working through it may be what is needed.
 
Just have an open and honest conversation with your parents and tell them that you do feel attracted to the Church, but it will not mean that you see them as lesser.

My concern would be that the group your girlfriend is a part of may not necessarily be “of one mind” with the rest of the Church?
 
AdamP88 said:
My concern would be that the group your girlfriend is a part of may not necessarily be “of one mind” with the rest of the Church?
Click to expand...
This. Some fringe groups are disobedient to Holy Mother Church, be careful.
 
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