Nonexistent sex drive

[Black_Jaque]

I just didn’t pay attention, as I was finding other things, especially the kiddos, to keep me busy.

You know, we all hear about the man who gets so caught up in his Wall Street career that he neglects his wife and family. But how come we never hear about the woman who gets so caught up in her mothering and housekeeping that she neglects her husband? It seems to be at least as common.

 

[LynnieLew]

Black Jaque:

You know, we all hear about the man who gets so caught up in his Wall Street career that he neglects his wife and family. But how come we never hear about the woman who gets so caught up in her mothering and housekeeping that she neglects her husband? It seems to be at least as common.

I agree.
However, I wouldn’t say I was “neglecting” him. I would say I lost focus for a little while but I caught myself before any damage was done.

 

[Black_Jaque]

This thread is kind of neat. It highlights that just as the Church teaches that there is some acts that are objectively evil, there are others that are objectively good.

And we are called to avoid evil and do good! Whooppeee! Do Good!

 

[Anna_Elizabeth]

johnsm:

I’m having a little trouble with my wife, any ideals would be great.

Correction, johnsm: You have a very great trouble.

I ask about it at least once a month, and she says, “I just don’t think about it”

No way. :nope: She thinks about it all the time.

This woman needs Big Time help, and the longer you procrastinate, the more it will seem as if you contributed every bit as much to the fake marriage. :tsktsk:

We are reading more and more about the unfortunate feminizing of American men, and I interpret your actions thus far, not as the patience of a saint, but as something far less admirable.

I say that you shouldn’t make any effort to have sex with this woman until she has had serious psychological help. If you manage to consumate this marriage, it may be the first and last time, and then what?

I am truly sorry for your predicament, but you have to act. (And quit “ask[ing] about it once a month!”) Contact one or more of those references the apologist gave you.

God bless you in this sorry situation,

Anna

 

[marcsababa]

Anna Elizabeth:

Correction, johnsm: You have a very great trouble.

No way. :nope: She thinks about it all the time.

This woman needs Big Time help, and the longer you procrastinate, the more it will seem as if you contributed every bit as much to the fake marriage. :tsktsk:

We are reading more and more about the unfortunate feminizing of American men, and I interpret your actions thus far, not as the patience of a saint, but as something far less admirable.

I say that you shouldn’t make any effort to have sex with this woman until she has had serious psychological help. If you manage to consumate this marriage, it may be the first and last time, and then what?

I am truly sorry for your predicament, but you have to act. (And quit “ask[ing] about it once a month!”) Contact one or more of those references the apologist gave you.

God bless you in this sorry situation,

Anna

Having just gone through geting feed back from this forum on my own problem I have to say that the posts that said things like this one were not helpful. They seemed to make my problem larger and even though they suggested that I should get help, the references to serious urgent psychological help made me feel hopeless. This of course may just be me and my own preconceived notions of what a serious psychological problem is.

I am assuming that the poster did want to help and just wanted to express their feelings about the problem and the urgency needed in addressing it.

Turning to the sacraments is turning to the best type of medicine. If the wife in this case is a Catholic perhaps she is also concerned and will turn her problem over to the Lord. Perhaps the couple could go to adoration together. Then this problem could cause the beginning of a beautiful habit.

 

[Black_Jaque]

I’m curious what happens when you put pressure on her.

Does she react with tremendous anger? Almost as if she would break off the relationship? Or does she seem to resist at first, then later she comes along of her own free will.

My own marriage is a little bit like that. When I look back I can see many changes in our behavior that started with an argument. At the end of the argument it didn’t look like either party gave in. But now it is clear who won the arguement.

 

[radio-cipher]

hi, this is a little off topic, but I wanted to address the reason your wife was on the pill in the first place - her pain during her period. Does she eat a healthy diet? A lot of times, PMS and cramps are related to one’s diet and possible intolerances one might have. I have noticed with myself that if I eat a lot of sugar and starchy foods, especially wheat products, in the days leading up to my period I get PMS and bloating and cramping and nausea during my period, but on the other hand if I avoid those foods and eat lightly a day or two before the period is due, it goes very easily and comfortably. It might be worth her while to look intothis and experiment a bit.