Not allowed to confess until confirmation and convalidation

  • Thread starter Thread starter cfernandomaciel
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
C

cfernandomaciel

Guest
So, I’m a revert, being outside the Church as an atheist for decades.
I have returned to the Catholic Church in the beginning of the year, where I have already started catechism (for I’m not yet confirmed), and after that I will be allowed to have my marriage convalidated.

I have started taking catechism classes from our local Deacon about 4 months ago. Next Saturday a confirmation Mass (don’t know exactly how to say that in English) will be held at our local Parish, but I have just been told that I will not be able to receive my confirmation. Because I do not have an entire year of catechism yet. I was a little devastated, because I have been so anxious and desperate to confess, and I thought I would finally be able to do so.

My soul begs for confession, yet I cannot have it. I’m not blaming anyone, just to make it clear. The Priest gave me this sad news and apologized for the inconvenience, and I told him that I have delayed my return to the Church for years, so it won’t hurt to wait another year.

It’s just that I long for confession. I would like to hear from you fellows what I can do in this situation. I feel kind of dirty because of all these years I’ve been outside of the Church, and I want to progress spiritually, but this thing I feel is stopping, hindering my progress, as we often hear (and learn from Catechism) that we cannot be in any state of grace if we are found in mortal sin. Thus, my spiritual progress is stuck.

I have told the Priest that I’ll try to seize this entire year, as an ‘extra time’ for a better preparation. I intend to live a better life, to show to God all my thankfulness for His mercy of having brought me back to belief.

But somehow I feel that there can be no spiritual progress until confession takes place. Can you show me some insights about this?

Just as a side note, as a goof (for the lack of a better term), I have even thought in the past of going to another priest in another parish, where I know the Priest is hearing confessions, and just ask him for confession. Not because I want to lie, but because I’m desperate to confess, and remove these years of blasphemy I have lived from my shoulders. Of course, I won’t do it. Just wanted to express my thirst for confession.

Thanks
 
Last edited:
You’re already absolved of your sins due to your contrition and longing for the Sacraments.

You just need to make a confession as soon as your marriage is convalidated and you’re able to. Until then, trust that God hears you and you’ve been absolved through the blood of Christ.
 
Oh, really? Thank you for that! Thank you so much! I couldn’t stop tears running from my eyes when I just read your message! I didn’t know about that fact.

Thank you, thank you!!!
 
Not sacramental absolution, but absolution in the eyes of God and his soul returned to the state of grace.

So long as he vows to make that sacramental confession when he’s able to, in the meantime he is assured of God’s forgiveness due to his contrition.
 
From the Catechism of the Catholic Church:

1452: When it arises from a love by which God is loved above all else, contrition is called “perfect” (contrition of charity). Such contrition remits venial sins; it also obtains forgiveness of mortal sins if it includes the firm resolution to have recourse to sacramental confession as soon as possible.

An Act of Contrition made with perfect contrition should suffice in terms of forgiving mortal sins so long as the poster goes to confession as soon as his priest allows.
 
Last edited:
I’m rather confused by the requirements your priest is placing on you. Confession should come before both confirmation and convalidation. If you’re Catholic by baptism, I wouldn’t think a predefined period of catechism would be absolutely essential, especially if you had any growing up as a child. I think there’s some re-evaluation of your case to be done here… not doubting your priest, but something seems amiss.
 
OP Im in agreement with this statement
 
Last edited:
Have you received your first Communion? And first confession? If so, all that is needed to return is another Confession. Confirmation is not required to be married in the Catholic Church. It is recommended, not required.

As far as being forgiven, yes, you are forgiven with perfect contrition but only a priest can offer absolution in the sacrament of Confession. Forgiveness and absolution are not the same.
 
I was born Catholic, received my first communion when I was 12. Left Catholicism for Mormonism when 12 (because of my parents). Served as a Mormon missionary from 1999-2001 in The USA (that’s how I learned English), married a Mormon girl, to whom I’m still faithfully married to this day. Left Mormonism in 2003, and became an atheist until last year.

As I have been instructed, I must first convalidate my marriage, which took place in the Mormon Church + Civil law. However, as I was not yet confirmed, I must first have my confirmation, then I can have the convalidation, and ONLY then, I’ll be even with the sacraments I should have taken in its proper sequence: communion > confirmation > marriage.

Because I am married outside the Catholic Church, I cannot benefit from any sacrament, meaning: confession and communion.

That’s the instruction I have.
 
cfernandomaciel said:
As I have been instructed, I must first convalidate my marriage, which took place in the Mormon Church + Civil law. However, as I was not yet confirmed, I must first have my confirmation, then I can have the convalidation, and ONLY then, I’ll be even with the sacraments I should have taken in its proper sequence: communion > confirmation > marriage.

Because I am married outside the Catholic Church, I cannot benefit from any sacrament, meaning: confession and communion.

That’s the instruction I have.
Click to expand...
Yes, according to Canon Law, that is wrong. Confirmation isn’t required for a convailidation of a marriage. Look it up and speak with the pastor. The other choice is to live as brother and sister until the marriage is convalidated. Then you could confess and receive the Eucharist now.
 
Thanks for the information.
I have just talked with the Priest, via whatsapp. Because (as I had mentioned before) this Saturday will take place the “confirmation Mass”, and he restated that I cannot be part of it. I’ll have to wait another year (I have looked for Catechism in time, so I could be confirmed this Saturday, but he took way too long to arrange my catechism).

Throughout this process/time, I have been trying to have my marriage convalidated via Radical Sanation (Sanatio in Radici), so, whatever arrived first, I would then use.

The thing is, I have also just found out that for the Sanatio in Radici, I would need to prepare all the documentation and requirements for a normal wedding, then, only then, once the paper work was ready, I could require the Sanatio in Radici from the Bishop, via the Priest.

So, this Saturday as well, should be the day I could get my Sanatio in Radici, because that’s when the Priest sees the Bishop, and normally gives the permissions. But, as I’m 100% dependant of all the thumbs up from the Priest, he didn’t let me start with the paper work for the wedding, therefore, I have NOTHING for the validation as well.

I’m a little frustrated, because I’m doing all that I should. And for so many cases, I am doing what the Priest should do as well. He is very inexperienced, and does not take part in looking for information in advance. I’m the one who has to bring him all the information, including Cannon Codes, etc.
 
If you are prepared to live as brother and sister with your spouse until the marriage is convalidated, you would be able to go to confession and receive communion now.
 
I fully understand about that rule. But I haven’t been given that option. Discussed with the Priest, but no go.
 
Make an act of perfect contrition. This will return you to grave prior to confession. Just think of Jesus on the cross and how much he suffered because of your sin. Resolve never to do it to him again.
 
If you’re already a Catholic, that doesn’t make sense. You’re not a convert. Are you sure the priest understands this?
 
He does understand it. I’m not fully aware of his reasons, but I guess he’s using precisely the fact that I had been longer in life a protestant (Mormon) plus an atheist, than a Catholic. Because even though I was born Catholic, and had the first communion, soon in life I shifted to Mormonism. Not sure though.
 
Not an option. It’s a very small town (2,800 people), the nearest priest is a couple of hours drive from here.
 
Could you not drive to the next town on the weekend at the time confessions are scheduled? A lot of parishes have it on their websites.

If you go that route, I’d explain the whole situation to the new priest before confessing. Maybe email the priest and ask him if you can come during scheduled confession time? That way if he says yes you are guaranteed that the journey won’t be wasted.

I agree with other posters, it would mean intending to live as brother and sister until convalidation.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top