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Boston_Sem
Guest
A big HEAR HEAR! to these above points.i was going to ask “how old are you” ,but it doesn’t matter.grow up
For some reason, this question made me laugh
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Q
quiet52
Guest
Dear OP,
Thank you for loving our Lord, and thank you for loving the Church and for wanting to serve her during the liturgy of the Mass.
I am concerned that you believe you are owed the privilege to serve at the altar, on your terms. No lay person has a right to serve in these liturgical roles. It is always with the permission of the pastor, on his terms.
No, altar serving is not your life – or at least it shouldn’t be. It’s okay for this ministry to be important to you, but never cling on to it. Loving Jesus and being His disciple every day should be the focus of our life.
Also, nothing is being taken away from you, because it’s not yours to begin with.
Please try not to take your pastor’s decision so personally. It’s probably not “against” you. He most likely wants other parishioners to get involved and to share the ministry more equitably. Be happy that he wants other parishioners to experience the joys that you have had in this service!
Your pastor probably does realize by now that this issue is “bugging” you. Other parishioners most likely feel “bugged” by his decisions, for various reasons. His decisions might be completely just and rational, or maybe occasionally some are not, but he is probably doing the best he can to be a good pastoral leader of the parish. Do you truly believe that your pastor must bend to the will of every parishioner who feels upset? You are responsible for your feelings, not Father. It does not seem to me that you have been a victim of any abuse or disrespect (although I realize I have not walked in your shoes). Can you prayerfully work on forgiving your pastor for offending you in any way? Maybe this is a good opportunity to demonstrate Christian love toward him, by offering unconditional respect and forgiveness for being imperfect.
Can you serve God in other ways in addition to your service at the altar, either in the parish or outside of it?
R
RSD
Guest
Dear AltarServer:
I notice that you have not posted since your OP. Many of us of tried to offer you helpful responses. I hope that you are reading and paying attention, even if you are not responding. If you are reading, perhaps you could respond to anyone who said something you found helpful?
I notice that you have not posted since your OP. Many of us of tried to offer you helpful responses. I hope that you are reading and paying attention, even if you are not responding. If you are reading, perhaps you could respond to anyone who said something you found helpful?
C
Cat
Guest
Whenever we say “Yes” to a ministry, it means that someone else won’t be able to do that ministry.
This may seem silly in an era where everybody wants to say “No.”
But we shouldn’t prevent others from having the opportunity to serve.
Read I Corinthians chapters 12-14. In this passage, St. Paul describes how the Holy Spirit gives spiritual gifts to believers for the edification of the Church.
Everyone has a ministry in the Church, and we need to let others do that ministry!
This may seem silly in an era where everybody wants to say “No.”
But we shouldn’t prevent others from having the opportunity to serve.
Read I Corinthians chapters 12-14. In this passage, St. Paul describes how the Holy Spirit gives spiritual gifts to believers for the edification of the Church.
Everyone has a ministry in the Church, and we need to let others do that ministry!
G
guanophore
Guest
This is the heart of the issue. Christ is calling you to make Him the center of your life, and this is not necessarily centered around your duties as an altar server. He wants to give to YOU, and if you are busy at service, you may not receive what He has for you.
So are you having this conflict on Sunday with Father, or with another server? Either way, I don’t see how you can possibly not realize that Father knows you are bugged. If he did not see you were bugged, you would not have gotten benched!
What causes us to have conflicts and be “mean” is when our ego is overinvested. These symptoms confirm that Father’s solution is best for you. Sometime we have to have what seems most important for us taken away so that we can grow. This is the concept of pruning. Jesus said:
John 15:2
Every branch that bears fruit he prunes to make it bear more fruit.
The service you have given is good fruit, but pruning is the cutting away of a health, fruit producing part of the vine, so that it can bear more fruit.
God is clipping off this part of your ministry so that you can grow even more.
You are being asked, like Abraham was, to sacrifice your Isaac. It would be detrimental to your spiritual development to avoid the sacrifice that is being asked of you. All the saints were directed, at one point or another, to make such sacrifices. It is obedience that proves holiness.
Better to follow the Apostolic instruction:
2 Tim 2:2-4
3 Share in suffering like a good soldier of Christ Jesus.
There is nothing wrong with the desire to serve at the altar, but if God is calling you to a time out for reflection, or to another ministry, then it is more important to pray that His will be done in you, whatever that might be than to be longing for the branch He may have decided to prune for your benefit.
Father will be looking to see if you can graciously accept his direction with a heart of humility and meekness (that means no arguing or contention).
Sit with the readings from Mass and practice your Lectio Divina.
E
ellzeena
Guest
I’m a Eucharistic Minister in one church and a cantor in another. I realize that the leader of the Eucharistic Ministry assigns Mass so that each of us has the great privilege of serving, even if it means some months I serve only twice. Once I realized it was to give others the blessing, I felt immediate obedience to God’s will in this. At the other church where I sing, I am deliberately excluded by the leader of music ministry in all special occasions. This is seemingly a personal dislike for me and the Pastor is aware. He says I will sing at the 5PM Mass because he wants me there. I have not further discussed my exclusion from special days because I think it is my pride that is offended and I don’t sing for self satisfaction, I sing because I love the Lord with my whole heart. So I accept this situation and pray that I can be obedient to His will.
If your Priest wants you in the pews right now, he has made that decision based upon (perhaps?) your anger during the argument? You must be obedient. Offer to God the pain of loss and pray for the servers who are at the Mass you attend. You do this for God, not for yourself. If your “self” becomes important, then something is wrong. I know it’s hard to accept, believe me. But the Lord will see your heart and your obedience and that’s what counts.
If your Priest wants you in the pews right now, he has made that decision based upon (perhaps?) your anger during the argument? You must be obedient. Offer to God the pain of loss and pray for the servers who are at the Mass you attend. You do this for God, not for yourself. If your “self” becomes important, then something is wrong. I know it’s hard to accept, believe me. But the Lord will see your heart and your obedience and that’s what counts.
H
hsmomforlife
Guest
Let me offer a different perspective…my sons are both altar servers. We attend the same Mass every week and usually arrive early. When my oldest first started to serve, he would pop his head in the Sacristy when we arrived and if there were no servers he would ‘suit up’
Sometime later he told me that if the kids who were actually on the schedule showed up and saw him in there, they would go sit down with their family. 
We decided to have him start waiting until 5 minutes before Mass started to check with Father if his service was needed.
So, yes, knowing there is someone who is ‘always there’ to serve every Mass can make the other servers feel like they aren’t needed and don’t need to step up to the plate if they are at a Mass when they aren’t scheduled and the server on the schedule doesn’t show up to serve.
IMHO, Father is right…your next move is to ‘dust the pews’ for a while…until Father says otherwise
P
Phemie
Guest
I think it’s more likely that Fr. has come to realize that this person has an unhealthy obsession with serving at the altar and that that obsession is keeping others from having an opportunity to serve.
LOL…
It’s just…altar server doesn’t say if he/she is a he or she…
So I was wondering…perhaps the priest is cutting back on the altar-serving time because she is* female?*
No one really is mentioning this, they are just assuming the OP is a male
(does it say or imply male somewhere?)
Priests in the recent past have suddenly told girls they have to stop all together, after they’ve been altar servers for years–no explanations given to the girls or their parents…we have a few impassioned threads on this.
So a priest might tell a female she has to cut down on hours, too…only because she is female…
A
april32010
Guest
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thequeen
Guest
Please give some others a chance to be altar servers I am glad we rotate people at my Parish. We also rotate the Eucharistic Ministers at the different Masses. I think each person has two weeks on and two weeks off I believe it is done that way at the daily masses also.
T
thequeen
Guest
I think you are so right that is why our Altar Servers and Eucharistic minister have two weeks on and two weeks off That was our priest’s idea and it has worked well
P
PatriceA
Guest
I think this is probably Father’s reasoning as well. We had a similar problem in our old parish. Some of the more enthusiastic servers weren’t even bothering to follow the schedule and would try to beat the scheduled server to the robes. It didn’t have anything to do with one being male or female, more that people weren’t giving everyone a chance to serve.
A
AltarServer1
Guest
Thank you everyone on your (name removed by moderator)ut! I have come to the realization that I will have to accept this. I do need to stop being selfish and let others come forward. I still do have the weekday masses and weddings and funerals. That is plenty for me. I do serve God in other ways. I am a mayordomo, a guadalupana, a sacred heart member, an extraordinary minister, an altar society member, and when I turn 18, (im only 17) I will be a catholic daughter. I am going to let go of this and accept it with a good heart. God bless all of you.
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AltarServer1
Guest
A
AltarServer1
Guest
Yes. but I know that doesn’t mean anything in this
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AltarServer1
Guest
I was really moved by your response. I have decided to accept this and let it go. I still have some masses to serve. and I do serve God in many many other ways. and perhaps this is an opportunity to serve Him in a different way. Thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut. God Bless
A
AltarServer1
Guest
I am female, but I know that has nothing to do with it. he has never ever been prejudice to me.
LOL…
It’s just…altar server doesn’t say if he/she is a he or she…
So I was wondering…perhaps the priest is cutting back on the altar-serving time because she is* female?*
No one really is mentioning this, they are just assuming the OP is a male
(does it say or imply male somewhere?)
Priests in the recent past have suddenly told girls they have to stop all together, after they’ve been altar servers for years–no explanations given to the girls or their parents…we have a few impassioned threads on this.
So a priest might tell a female she has to cut down on hours, too…only because she is female.
.
B
Boston_Sem
Guest
Even if he did choose to relieve you of your services on the grounds of you being a young lady, I don’t think there would be any sort of negative “prejudice” involved.
F
Filii_Dei
Guest
The OP has already clarified she has not experienced any prejudice from the priest, and this has nothing to do with gender, so let’s not go there.
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