Not Baptizing The Baby Catholic

[SurlyMermaid]

Long story short, my lapsed, cradle Catholic husband changed his mind and feels we should baptize the baby Anglican. My daughter decided to be baptized last year and it was in that church and we were married there. I’m doing RCIA next year (would miss too many with the new baby and advised to wait this year). My younger daughter (his stepdaughter) and I are both coming into the Church then.

My teenager (who is probably staying Anglican) feels I should compromise by baptizing her little brother in a couple of months in the Anglican church (to satisfy my lapsed Catholic husband and parents-in-law, who don’t even go to ANY church, they just think the Anglican church is “prettier”). Then I can bring our son into the RC in Easter 2013. My grandfather-in-law, my younger daughter, and I are disappointed but I think my teen may be correct here.

I’m not the Catholic one (yet!) and my husband has now decided not to meet with a priest and get the ball rolling.

 

[puzzleannie]

I’m not the Catholic one (yet!) and my husband has now decided not to meet with a priest and get the ball rolling.

which priest? when it comes to baptizing your child you both need to be on the same page. Pick a faith and stick with it.

 

[SurlyMermaid]

The Catholic priest.

We have chosen to raise the baby Catholic, he just likes the look of this Anglican church better. My husband doesn’t go to church or really believe anything. He feels church is a social club and is leaving religious decisions to me.

You say “pick a faith and stick with it.” Do you think my daughter and I should just stay non-Catholic?

 

[SamH]

The Catholic priest.

We have chosen to raise the baby Catholic. My husband doesn’t go to church or really believe anything. He feels church is a social club and is leaving religious decisions to me.

You say “pick a faith and sick with it.” Do you think my daughter and I should just stay non-Catholic?

Then why are you even considering Anglican?

 

[puzzleannie]

You say “pick a faith and stick with it.” Do you think my daughter and I should just stay non-Catholic?

no I mean exactly what I said, you and your husband need to get on the same page, and it looks like you will be the driving force in his reconversion. welcome home, and congratulations on the baby, and on evangelizing your husband. The religion of the family is the most fundamental decision you will ever make together, and if you are not together on this, it will make all other decisions that much harder, even those that do not bear directly on religion. You can do this.

 

[ahs]

You say “pick a faith and stick with it.” Do you think my daughter and I should just stay non-Catholic?

NO! Go through with the RCIA process. Learn the Catholic Faith.

Since your husband doesn’t realyl care for one religion over another…just going on “looks”, perhaps you can persuade him to agree to a Catholic Baptism? I don’t think you should compromise just because your teenager thinks it would be a good idea. If there is no solid reason that they want the baby Baptized in the Anglican church other than feelings of the look of a building, then you should take the advantage of the fact that your husband has left the religious decisions up to you.

 

[SurlyMermaid]

The Catholic priest says my husband has to come talk to him and has to agree to the baptism. He is not going to now. It’s frustrating. We agree to raise the baby Catholic but “for show” he wants to the baptism at the other church.

It’s all “for show” with him. I need to get my head together and find compelling arguments for him and his parents to baptize the baby Catholic, rather than just bring him in when I join.

 

[Phaedra777]

Since your husband doesn’t realyl care for one religion over another…just going on “looks”, perhaps you can persuade him to agree to a Catholic Baptism? I don’t think you should compromise just because your teenager thinks it would be a good idea. If there is no solid reason that they want the baby Baptized in the Anglican church other than feelings of the look of a building, then you should take the advantage of the fact that your husband has left the religious decisions up to you.

I agree. Baptizing the baby in the Catholic church is important to you, his wife. Your husband doesn’t seem to really care and is putting other people’s wishes ahead of yours.

 

[vsedriver]

The Catholic priest says my husband has to come talk to him and has to agree to the baptism. He is not going to now. It’s frustrating. We agree to raise the baby Catholic but “for show” he wants to the baptism at the other church.

It’s all “for show” with him. I need to get my head together and find compelling arguments for him and his parents to baptize the baby Catholic, rather than just bring him in when I join.

it is an insult to God to do something sacred and holy ‘for show’.

You need to pin your husband down on what his objections to baptizing the baby in the Catholic faith really are. Men do not generally concern themselves with how a building or room looks. So either he is resentful of your interest in Catholicism and is personally resisting any pull to the CC or he’s bowing to outside family pressure and is willing to sacrifice you to his relatives.

 

[Castello]

Please, do not wait another year for RCIA. To know something is right and not do it may be a sin. Talk to your priest next week, tell him you do not wish to delay your conversion. Start attending Mass, stop considering yourself Anglican and jump in.

 

[faithfully]

I think the compromise should be a prettier CATHOLIC church. Can you find one? Talk to the priest yourself. Explain this rediculous criteria and ask if he can help you find a diff Catholic Church. SURELY another Catholic church will allow a baptism, a very important step for your child.

A destination baptism if you will. A little crazy. But I’d do it to make sure my child was baptized Catholic. Where does the Grand Father in-law go? Do you have any other family in the Catholic church that could arrange at one of their churches?

None of the arguments you have presented of his warrants an anglican baptism. As a Catholic, I would feel realy jilted if my parents did such a thing with such Lame (I’m sorry, this is lame) reasons.

I would put my foot down at the Anglican church. When asked if you agree, the answer would be NO. A huge, loud resounding NO. Don’t they ask similar questions. Do you agree to raise your child in the Anglican faith? How does that get answered. "Well, for these few minutes while in your beautiful church, yes. But after that, this baby will go with mama to Catholic Church!

Might I also suggest. You CAN wait until you’re Catholic. Not ideal. But you will have more weight to swing around at that point.

 

[faithfully]

Please, do not wait another year for RCIA. To know something is right and not do it may be a sin. Talk to your priest next week, tell him you do not wish to delay your conversion. Start attending Mass, stop considering yourself Anglican and jump in.

Just so you know, mothers with BABY OBLIGATIONS are allowed to miss Mass! And it’s NOT a sin.

I actually confirmed this with my priest!

She wants a full edcuation. She knows her baby obligations would require her to miss Class. That’s not a good start.

But perhaps more creative solutions are avail. Worth looking into.

 

[faithfully]

The Catholic priest says my husband has to come talk to him and has to agree to the baptism. He is not going to now. It’s frustrating. We agree to raise the baby Catholic but “for show” he wants to the baptism at the other church.

It’s all “for show” with him. I need to get my head together and find compelling arguments for him and his parents to baptize the baby Catholic, rather than just bring him in when I join.

Um… His parents need to get OUT of your marriage. NOW. Bigger problems ahead if they get a vote on everything.

 

[Castello]

Just so you know, mothers with BABY OBLIGATIONS are allowed to miss Mass! And it’s NOT a sin.

I actually confirmed this with my priest!

She wants a full edcuation. She knows her baby obligations would require her to miss Class. That’s not a good start.

But perhaps more creative solutions are avail. Worth looking into.

This is a baptized Christian. RCIA is for those who are unbaptized. She needs to talk to her Priest who can bring her into the Church as he sees fit.

The Priest is unlikely to baptize a baby as a Catholic when neither parent is a practicing Catholic.

 

[Barbkw]

This is a baptized Christian. RCIA is for those who are unbaptized. She needs to talk to her Priest who can bring her into the Church as he sees fit.

The Priest is unlikely to baptize a baby as a Catholic when neither parent is a practicing Catholic.

RCIA in our parish includes the nonbaptized, the baptized and the non-Confirmed.

 

[Barbkw]

I think the compromise should be a prettier CATHOLIC church.

I might be mistaken, but normally Baptisms are performed where the child will be received into his/her other Sacraments.

OP, remind your husband that Jesus was Baptised in dirty river water and that Baptism has nothing to do with the appearance of the Church.

 

[faithfully]

I might be mistaken, but normally Baptisms are performed where the child will be received into his/her other Sacraments.

OP, remind your husband that Jesus was Baptised in dirty river water and that Baptism has nothing to do with the appearance of the Church.

You can’t predict the future. They could easily move.

But NORMALLY you have your baptism within the parish you belong.

NORMALLY, when you agree to raise a child Catholic, Well, I don’t know, you actually baptize them Catholic.

Normal isn’t the issue at hand… But I do agree with you!

 

[Leegal]

This is a baptized Christian. RCIA is for those who are unbaptized. She needs to talk to her Priest who can bring her into the Church as he sees fit.

The Priest is unlikely to baptize a baby as a Catholic when neither parent is a practicing Catholic.

The priest is unlikely to Baptise the baby as Catholic if an Anglican Baptism takes place. The baby will be consecrated, but not Baptised a second time.

Since she and the step daughter are becoming Catholics, the baby should be Baptised as Catholic. I’m not sure, since she has the intention to raise the baby as Catholic and become Catholic herself, that she cannot have the baby Baptised as Catholic. Check with the priest, but two Baptisms will not be allowed. Which is more important since the baby is to be raised Catholic? I think you know the answer.

 

[faithfully]

This is a baptized Christian. RCIA is for those who are unbaptized. She needs to talk to her Priest who can bring her into the Church as he sees fit.

The Priest is unlikely to baptize a baby as a Catholic when neither parent is a practicing Catholic.

Catello, my response to you is that it’s NOT A SIN to miss anything Mass related if a MOTHER has baby obligations. She said she was advised to start later, because she is likely to miss so many classes.

She is NOT SINNING… This is in response to “To know something is right and not do it might be a sin”, and thing not done is RCIA right now…

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

Why do other family members have a say in this matter?

You and your husband should be the ones to decide. But since he is being flaky and leaving religious education of children to you, then it makes sense that the baby will be baptised Catholic. I agree with the poster who suggested you find a pretty church if that will make your husband happy. If he wants a nice “show”, then you can even find a priest who will baptise the baby in the traditional rite.