Not Being Able to Take Communion

[Livie]

I understand that this is posted about a lot, and I’m really sorry, but some advice would be nice. I understand that not taking the Communion is supposed to hurt. I understand that it’s supposed to make me feel bad. I just don’t know if it’s supposed to make me feel this bad. I cry about it whenever I think about it. Like, bawling my eyes out all the time. The community I’m with is very small, we’re a university parish. I know just about everyone that goes there and just about everyone there is what one would consider a “cradle Catholic”, so I can’t really talk to any of them about it because they can’t relate to how I feel. They always get to take communion. I’m one of the only, if not the only, person there that can’t. It’s definitely noticeable because I’m usually the only one to get a blessing instead so you can hear the difference even if you’re not looking.

It makes me feel like everything I work on is never enough. It makes me feel like no matter how much time I spend reading, or how hard I try to learn everything that I can, God doesn’t love me like He loves everyone else there. I’m not worthy like everyone else. I’m not actually one of His children, I’m just there pretending to be one, but everyone knows I’m not really. While I know He isn’t actually saying this and He never would, this is what it feels like: when everyone else gets communion, God is telling them how much He loves and cares for them, but when I cover my mouth, He’s saying: “Ugh. Not you, though.”

It’s getting harder to come to mass knowing that everyone knows I’m not like “Catholic enough” to take communion. It’s getting harder to pray and feel that He’s listening, or if He is, that He even cares at all. It’s kind of hard to keep getting my eyes swollen from crying when I’m trying to read or pray. Trying to be Catholic means everything to me, I want to live in apartment buildings that are directly attached to a Catholic Church next year. I don’t know. I’m just exhausted from crying. Some advice to make these thoughts go away, assuming they’re not true, and maybe cry a little less would be nice. I can’t do RCIA until this September so I have over a year to wait and I don’t know if I can handle crying like this for that long. Thanks for reading if you read this far. Sorry again if the topic is repetitive, it just has been on my mind for a long time.

(Just to clarify, the community I am in has never made me feel like an “other” because I’m not confirmed. This is coming from my own head, I guess.)

 

[1ke]

I understand that not taking the Communion is supposed to hurt. I understand that it’s supposed to make me feel bad.

I don’t know where you got this idea. It’s neither of these things.

It’s getting harder to come to mass knowing that everyone knows I’m not good enough to take communion.

No one is “good enough” to receive the Eucharist. And that is not the criteria to receive it.

Some advice to make these thoughts go away, assuming they’re not true, and maybe cry a little less would be nice.

You really need some spiritual counsel, set up an appointment with the pastor. You have seen really wrong notions about the Eucharist.

Something is very wrong.

 

[Livie]

I don’t know where you got this idea. It’s neither of these things.

I guess from Ascension Presents, I think. They talked about how it’s going to hurt and it’s okay, so I figured this is okay

It’s getting harder to come to mass knowing that everyone knows I’m not good enough to take communion.

I guess I meant I’m not “catholic” enough. Like, yeah, I believe in what they’re saying but I haven’t gone through RCIA so it doesn’t really matter as much. It doesn’t “count”

 

[Irishmom2]

It has nothing to do with you being “good enough.”

Communion is for Catholics only. When you go through RCIA, you have a deeper understanding of Catholicism and what it teaches.

 

[edward_george1]

I almost left college two years early to enter seminary. If I had, I almost certainly wouldn’t have been ready for ordination by the time I got to that point. I was impatient when I first got to seminary about having to do the initial philosophical studies, since I already had a degree in Philosophy. Two extra years of formation, but I needed it. I’m a better priest for having waited.

All in God’s time. You’ll be surprised at how much better prepared you will be if you take it slow.

-Fr ACEGC

 

[Livie]

All in God’s time.

Thank you. I really needed to hear that.

 

[anendlesswaltz]

I have prayed for you, Livie, and i will put you on my prayer list. I’m so sad to see that its affecting you so much. I encourage you to pray over it, God will show you how much He loves you and give you guidance. And talk to your pastor or a member of the clergy you trust (is that the right word?) I admit i’m not a catholic (as of now) and have never attended a catholic church, so i don’t really understand it how it works.

I hope its not asking a lot, but would someone be okay explaining this to me under the Catholic church? Like are there requirements or something?

 

[OurLadyofSorrows]

I understand that it’s supposed to make me feel bad.

I am not sure who told you this, but it is very wrong.

You in fact, in my mind are very catholic minded in your heart and soul,because you have grief and anguish about not taking communion. We are all on a journey home to God, each taking different times and paths. You will do RCIA, you will be able to take Communion eventually. I am in a ministry that works at the Rite of Election for the Catecumens today. It is such a wonderful day. The Bishop and the Administrative Priest read out each Catecumen’s name one by one, and the Bishop will meet each one . There are formal words and text to be answered. Then the Bishop gives everyone lunch

You are well on your way to entering into the Church.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Hi Dear,
First of all, God Loves You, infinitely.

Second of all, all of us Catholics have times when we cannot receive Communion for one reason or another. In past centuries, it was not uncommon for people, even saints, to receive only one time a year. Some saints were unjustly kept from receiving, sometimes for years. There have even been saints who died without ever being able to receive. Obviously God loved them very much and they were very heroic and holy. God loves you too and you can be just as holy. Think of this as a challenge God gave you, not as a rejection.

Third, please do speak with your priest about this.

Fourth, while you are waiting to make your first Holy Communion some day, you can make a Spiritual Communion. It’s what Catholics do when they can’t receive a real Communion for some reason or another. Jesus will come right into your heart and be with you. You don’t even have to be in church to make a Spiritual Communion, you can make one at home in your bed if you wish. Just sincerely say this prayer:

My Jesus,
I believe that You
are present in the Most Holy Sacrament.
I love You above all things,
and I desire to receive You into my soul.
Since I cannot at this moment
receive You sacramentally,
come at least spiritually into my heart. I embrace You as if You were already there and unite myself wholly to You. Never permit me to be separated from You.

Amen.

Maybe in addition to making Spiritual Communion, you could also visit Our Lord in Adoration, if your campus chapel or a nearby church offers it. That is a wonderful way to spend time with the Lord in the Eucharist. Jesus would be so happy to see you.

Finally, a small minor correction: Catholics say we “receive” Holy Communion, not that we “take” Communion. We “receive” our Lord, like one would “receive” an honored guest. So you probably want to get in the habit of saying “Receive” rather than take.

Please don’t feel bad. It is easy on a campus to feel like you’re “not part of the group” even for cradle Catholics sometimes. I am sure Jesus is happy that you love him so much but he wouldn’t want you to feel bad or unloved. He would give you a big hug if he were here.

I will pray for you.

 

[Kima]

Thank you for sharing the prayer of spiritual communion. I’m currently in a state of serious sin and thus unable to go to confession just yet, because I’m travelling. I hope to confess tomorrow after Mass.

However, I feel you OP. I strongly long after Jesus in the Eucharist and as I’m in this state spiritually, it pains me to know that I have brought this upon myself due to sin. If it helps, know that a significant part of Catholics are unable to receive due to circumstances like mine.

But as others have said, I would highly recommend you to bring this to the attention of your priest. He will best know how to help you.

 

[Horton]

I hope its not asking a lot, but would someone be okay explaining this to me under the Catholic church? Like are there requirements or something?

One must be Catholic in order to receive the Eucharist (communion). For an adult this means going through a process called RCIA, Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults. In RCIA one learns about the Catholic faith and Catholic teachings. The process is 7-8 months and ends at Easter when they are fully initiated into the Catholic Church through Baptism, Confirmation, and First Holy Communion.

In all cases one must be in a state of grace to receive the Eucharist, meaning they can’t be in mortal sin. They can receive once they’ve been to confession and are absolved.

This is a very quick explanation and there is so much more to it.

 

[anendlesswaltz]

Thank you so much! I can appreciate this lengthy process. I remember when i was baptisted at a southern baptist church around 12 maybe, i didn’t even know mom was taking us to church to schedule a day to be baptised! She just took us to church and explained in the parking lot we were going to be baptised. And the pastor didn’t see through me and my little brother’s just going along with it. My sister was baptised too at like 7 but i doubt she really understood either. Just going to church and liking it and the lessons doesn’t make you a Christian and i think this is something a lot of people like me got confused.

 

[Livie]

Your comment has helped me so much, more than I can really describe.

I was at a Lent retreat when I saw the comment and that you mentioned Adoration. It was part of the retreat day and I wrote in my journal about it during Adoration (I’m not sure why but “writing letters” to God helps me a lot.) and I felt this realization. I felt that He really loved me and that seeing everyone else receive communion is a reminder of the spiritual journey I’m on, how prepared I will be when the time finally comes, and that I am on God’s time and this is all part of his plan. Mass that night was great and I went to take the blessing that they offer rather than Communion, and I felt the blessing as a big hug from Him. I felt loved and I didn’t feel bad anymore.

Thank you thank you thank you