Not called...

[elizabeth_anne_1]

So…I do not have a religious vocation, due to having not passed the psych exam. Anyone else here in a similar situation? Does anyone have any idea why God calls some souls to be so close to Him and not others? (Knowing that religious life is a closer following of Christ.) Is there something special about them that is not true of me?

 

[Luigi_Daniele]

So…I do not have a religious vocation, due to having not passed the psych exam. Anyone else here in a similar situation? Does anyone have any idea why God calls some souls to be so close to Him and not others? (Knowing that religious life is a closer following of Christ.) Is there something special about them that is not true of me?

He calls all of us to be close to Him. A good wife is better than a bad sister.
You can choose to follow Him more closely in many ways: become an Oblate or a member of a Third Order and/or become more involved in your parish. He is waiting

 

[CB_Catholic]

So…I do not have a religious vocation, due to having not passed the psych exam. Anyone else here in a similar situation? Does anyone have any idea why God calls some souls to be so close to Him and not others? (Knowing that religious life is a closer following of Christ.) Is there something special about them that is not true of me?

Not being called to the religious life does not mean that there is something more “special” about those who are, or that you lack anything. It means that God has something else in mind for you, and the important thing is that you do God’s Will, whether it is in religious life or secular life.

I also doubt whether any religious would see themselves as being special or automatically closer to Christ just because they are in religious life. There are many canonized Saints who were not religious, but secular. And there are those religious, sadly, who do not walk closely with Christ. I have lived long enough and been around enough to have met extraordinarily holy secular men and women who walk closely with Christ, and unfortunately, a few religious and ordained who have not, and have left the Church. The important thing is to discover what God’s Will for your life is, and then follow that and Christ as closely as you can. Be the best you can be for God in whatever state you are in.

 

[DaughterOfMary6]

Yes, it was very confusing at the beginning. I really thought I was called for a long time. I visited a few communities and applied to one at one point, but I don’t have the necessary psychological requirements to be successful in religious life. I wasn’t refused the entrance–I actually discovered myself while I was there working in the apostolate before I entered. I kept having anxiety attacks and was constantly feeling homesick. I was not happy at all. I remember pleading with my grandmother to help me go home early because I was very upset. I was only there for 3 days, too, which made me feel horrible like I hadn’t given it enough time, but if I continued to stay, I wouldn’t have been able to work.

I finally gave up discerning when I discovered that I was not eligible for entrance in any other order. I was constantly turned down because of my history of depression and anxiety. It hurt me very deeply for awhile, but I completely understand that I wouldn’t last. I am no longer upset or hurt, just at peace. I am discerning where God is calling me in either married life or single life.

If you’re not called, it’s because He has something better planned for you. You may completely desire to enter but you would not be truly happy if you did. I know I wouldn’t have. Keep praying about God’s will and ask Him to give you direction. He loves you beyond measure and will lead you to where you are truly called. Perhaps, God desires you to marry, or maybe you are called to consecrated life in the world like a Consecrated Virgin or Hermit?

 

[TiggerS]

If you’re not called, it’s because He has something better planned for you. You may completely desire to enter but you would not be truly happy if you did. I know I wouldn’t have. Keep praying about God’s will and ask Him to give you direction. He loves you beyond measure and will lead you to where you are truly called. Perhaps, God desires you to marry, or maybe you are called to consecrated life in the world like a Consecrated Virgin or Hermit?

Good advice. God has a plan and vocation or call for you - at this point in your life it is not clear what exactly, and I know that is not an easy point to find oneself.

I dont know anything about these psych exams, they weren’t around in my day. But do all religious orders have them? I wouldn’t give up on religious life too easily if you feel that this is your call - keep praying and keep searching. It may be religious life, it may not. Wherever it may unfold to be, there you will find your Peace and Joy and the road to holiness will unfold before you, no matter where God is calling you.

And please do not think that religious etc. are closer to God than anyone else. God has a plan and vocation for each one of us which is the particular way that He wants each person to achieve holiness. The Mystery of His Will. Why one person is called here, another there is mystery to us. But it has nothing to do with calling some to be closer to Him than others.

God bless and hold you close

TS

 

[Ocarm]

I dont know anything about these psych exams, they weren’t around in my day. But do all religious orders have them? I wouldn’t give up on religious life too easily if you feel that this is your call - keep praying and keep searching.

In-depth examination for admission to novitiate is a canonical requirement of the 1983 Code:

Can. 642 With vigilant care, superiors are only to admit those who, besides the required age, have the health, suitable character, and sufficient qualities of maturity to embrace the proper life of the institute. This health, character, and maturity are to be verified even by using experts, if necessary

Typically that will include psychological assessment, although you will note that it isn’t mentioned specifically. There may be religious institutes that don’t bother, but it certainly would be very unusual.

More hopefully, it is worth saying that I’ve known of people who were told that they weren’t able to enter religious life at a particular time, but who were later reassessed and had progressed in relation to the problems they were previously encountering and were now able to make the step. Not all problems are that easily managed, and I’m not suggesting this is typical, but it is possible. But as others have said, more important than this is a process of ongoing discernment with God (and a good spiritual director).

I know this kind of advice is easy to give and hard to take, but the future really isn’t clear. I always believed that my vocation was to marriage and parenthood - so much so that I was in my 40s before I recognised a call to religious life. And now I’m more at peace than I ever have been (and yet despite that, there are very tough days, believe me!).

We all have our Gethsemane moments, when we want to be somewhere other than where we are now. Recognising that I was suffering with Jesus in Gethsemane, because I didn’t want to be single, was what finally allowed me to acknowledge that there are other options than the one I had decided upon for myself. Once I understood the reasons for my pains, a solution was given to me. Waiting can be terribly hard, because we have to walk forward into darkness, but there is a light somewhere ahead waiting to be discovered.

Try to be open to the possibilities that God puts before you over time. There is a saying that if we want to hear God’s laughter, we should tell Him our plans for the future. Truly, we can never know what he has in store for us.

 

[elizabeth_anne_1]

Thank you all for your words of encouragement!