Not going to confession with specific priests

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DrCat

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I’m just wondering if anybody has a priest they tend to avoid for confession for reasons not having to do with their theology?

As an example, there is a priest I have stopped going to confession with because after he has given me my penance and absolution, we spend anywhere from 30 - 45 minutes sharing web sites.

John
 
Yes,
There is one priest where I used to live who was very VERY loud, and would say things like “YOU DID WHAT?” :eek:

I would usually try to go elsewhere unless necessity forced me.

God Bless,
Stylite
 
My daughter was in the confessional with one of our more unusual priests when there came a knock on the door. He told her to open it, because it might be the organist for the upcoming Mass. Flabbergasted, she opened the door and in walked one of the older women (not the organist) who greeted her and started chatting with the priest. I am not making this up.

Needless to say, she avoids this priest now.

Betsy
 
My experience is a little different. One day I was at St. Patrick’s Cathedral in NYC. I was in line for confession when who do I see walking down the aisle but Fr. Benedict Groeschel himself. I was so excited! I decided to position myself so that I could go to him. It worked out that when it was my turn, he was available. I was so excited! He was strict but kind.
 
I encountered one who was a licensed counselor. He seemed more interested in signing me up for a counseling session that in dealing with my sins. I avoided him there after.

Otherwise, I feel sure that God wants me to go to the one with the shortest line.😉
 
Most of these anecdotes sound like more good reasons to use confessionals and avoid face to face confessions.

JimG
 
Yes, there is a priest in our diocese who often hears confessions at retreats, but he always seems to me like he is irritated at being there and wishes we would all just hurry up and get it over with. He’s grouchy and bored. :mad: His attitude leaves me feeling like he has not heard anything I said, and he always gives the exact same penance to me, regardless of what I have confessed. I asked a few friends who have been to see him and again, same penance every single time. So, I avoid him. 😦 I need to be better about praying for him, too. No doubt it IS hard to hear four hours of confessions at a time every day for three days…
 
There’s a priest in our area who asks you after every thing you name, “Is that all?” Also, he will not let you say your Act of Contrition in the confessional. I think his goal is to have everyone out of the confessional in 60 seconds flat.
 
:o There are three priests who I won’t see for confessions. The first is one of our best friends. The second is from Uganda and I’m afraid I won’t be able to understand him as I get lost in his homilies sometimes. The third is a soon to be retired priest who has been known to scold and put people down in confessions. Confession is very difficult for me, coming from the Lutheran religion so I am picky. How wrong is that? Is it something I need to confess? 😉
Weezir
 
I go to the same priest for confession every week, but this one time we had a fill-in. I believe he may have been young, but he was pretty adamant that he knew why I did something I had done, but he was totally wrong. When I tried to explain, he told argued with me that I was not being humble, but I KNEW he was wrong about a particular motivation. He had made some assumptions about me and my life that were completely wrong.

I left that confessional feeling like I’d lost a debate to someone who wouldn’t let me speak. Now, I won’t miss confession if he’s in the confessional, but I’d prefer not to go to him if I didn’t have to.

JELane
 
I am fairly involved in ministry my parish, and know the priests fairly well. I go to confession at other parishes, because I do not want the knowledge shared in the confessional to influence the way that they see and relate to me. I know they would never violate the confessional oath that they have, but I feel that they are human too, and that it would be putting a burden on them in our relationship.

I also have priest friends that I am the same way with. I think sometimes they need to be and have friends without that extra responsibility. I’m not afraid to share my sins and struggles with them, and have done so on occasion, outside the confessional.

For me, this is one of the great things of the Catholic church, especially in such a populated area like where I am. There are Catholic parishes/priests everywhere within a 10 minute drive, almost in any direction. Were this not the case, I’m sure I would modify my habits by going to my parish priests. Where I not involved with ministries in the parish as much as I am, and directly involved with the priests like I am, I would also modify my habits and go to my parish priests.

I wonder what any priests out there think about this response?
 
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Mary1973:
I was in line for confession when who do I see walking down the aisle but Fr. Benedict Groeschel himself. I was so excited! I decided to position myself so that I could go to him. It worked out that when it was my turn, he was available. I was so excited! He was strict but kind.
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Needless to say, I’m jealous.

But at the same time, I’m quite happy for you and I admire your positioning skills.

Maria
 
In our parish, there is a growing number of us who AVOID the pastor. I have come to seriously question his faith. When I go to confession it is time for prayer, telling of my sins, and forgiveness. I cannot participate in one of the greatest sacraments if I am worrying, fretting, debating, or wanting to punch out the priest. We do face to face confessions so identity is known. He knows me. So if I am trying to heal and get forgiveness from my sins, please God, let it be with a priest that holds the sacrament of confession(penance) in high regard.
I am at the point in my life where I am less and less patient with something as important as the holy sacraments. I am beginning to feel that the laity has a responsibility to ask the priest to show more respect for the sacraments.

One of the retired priests told me that confession is the second most important sacrament. Second to Holy Communion.

God Bless
 
To Catholic Geek,
I used to feel that way too, but let me ask, “Isn’t that prideful?” If anything, I go to the same priest every week regardless. I used to go to another parish to confess my sins because I was ashamed, but being ashamed is prideful, so I made a vow to go to the same priest regardless of my sins. If anything it’s made me more aware of the things that I do. I know I can’t run from God, and I know that I can’t run from the priest, so I don’t. I face up to what I’ve done.
 
I, too, tend to avoid going to my parish priests for confession, for much the same reasons as CatholicGeek.
  1. I am good friends with our associate and I don’t feel comfortable telling him my sins (my pride… I know.), or in making him in any way uncomfortable when we’re out as friends (this is the priest who brought me back into the Church, btw, and so he was my confessor/director for quite a while until our friendship started growing). I, too, wonder if any priests out there can shed any light on whether you think this is a valid concern for friends of priests to consider… (Of course, I’m not talking about avoiding all confessions with friend-priests, I am talking about the regular confessor/penitent relationship – is it more difficult to balance this with a friend that you will play racquetball with tomorrow?)
  2. I too am VERY involved in my parish, in fact, I work there as well as help on various ministries. This means that if I go to my pastor, I am confessing to my “boss” 🙂 as well as my priest… since we have to work together nearly every day, I don’t feel quite right about adding this kind of knowledge to our working relationship, no matter that I trust him completely.
  3. I have a regular confessor/director at another parish that I often attend because it is near my college. Therefore, I generally desire to go to him, and this parish has confessions twice a day M-Sat, so I can go to him almost any day if needed.
However, when necessary (ie, my "secret-ninja-backup-plan ;)) I definitely do not have a problem going to my own parish priests, as they are most certainly first of all priests of God, and “in persona christi.” I think that to completely avoid them because of the reasons I gave would be sinful, but to choose to generally go elsewhere does not seem to be inherently sinful to me.

I use the analogy of the doctor/patient/friend relationship – a person who is great friends with an emergency room doctor would quite possibly not desire to go to this particular doctor with routine and/or “personal” problems–even if they are problems that do need to be treated, and the doctor friend would be very capable and considerate if you went to them. At the same time, in a true emergency this person would likely not have a problem going to his doctor friend for treatment, and may in fact earnestly seek him out because he is a close friend.

I think of my relationships with my priest/friend and priest/boss in the same way 🙂

+veritas+
 
Some priests are better confessors than others. Some are more devoted to the sacrament than others.

We are blest when we can choose a better confessor over a weaker one.

The question is ask is, “What confessor would God want me to go to at this time?” and pray on it.

Sometimes I have been sent to a confessor that in my confession the confessor could be helped as well as myself.
 
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Mary1973:
My experience is a little different. One day I was at St. Patrick’s Cathedral in NYC. I was in line for confession when who do I see walking down the aisle but Fr. Benedict Groeschel himself. I was so excited! I decided to position myself so that I could go to him. It worked out that when it was my turn, he was available. I was so excited! He was strict but kind.
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Wow, Mary…What an experience! You’ll never forget it, will you? Father G. is one of my very favorites, and it would be a privilege to have him hear my confession…
 
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Mary1973:
My experience is a little different. One day I was at St. Patrick’s Cathedral in NYC. I was in line for confession when who do I see walking down the aisle but Fr. Benedict Groeschel himself. I was so excited! I decided to position myself so that I could go to him. It worked out that when it was my turn, he was available. I was so excited! He was strict but kind.
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I’m turning green with envy. There is only one other priest (other than the Holy Father) who I would rather go to confession with. That is Fr. Corapi.

John
 
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DrCat:
That is Fr. Corapi.
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:hmmm: Thinking of going to confession with Fr. Corapi.

:tsktsk: Seeing myself roasting over the open flame.

:getholy: Seeing myself being purged off my imperfections.

😃 Seeing myself very happy and closer to God.

:gopray2: Praying to God to send me a confessor like Fr. Corapi to my door. I am homebound.

Just thought I would share my thought trail with the rest of you.
 
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DrCat:
I’m turning green with envy. There is only one other priest (other than the Holy Father) who I would rather go to confession with. That is Fr. Corapi.

John
Click to expand...
**Oh My…Now THERE’S a priest! **
 
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