Not in a state of mortal sin but not disposed to receive?

[corsair]

The “key” to Puzzleannie’s statement is “if I can”. I would agree that receiving heals all my problems but not at the expense of receiving outside of being in a state of grace.

If in doubt, do a spiritual communion and get to confession asap.

 

[BrushedByAngels]

Something similar just happened to me last week at mass. At the last minute a couple of chain smokers sat in the pew right in front of me. I could not even concentrate on the mass, the smell was making me ill. I thought a few times of moving, but I didnt want to offend them. I did not receive communion because I was very aggitated.

On another note, I feel worship is the reason I am drawn to going to mass daily and every weekend. Receiving communion is a bonus for lack of a better word. I feel too many people are receiving communion because “its the thing to do” and really need an examinination of conscience before getting in that line.

 

[paperwight66]

IAs for the noise of children, our Lord liked that even when she was tired.

No. laszlo, the ‘she’ in this quote is what i was referring to.

 

[Cat]

No. laszlo, the ‘she’ in this quote is what i was referring to.

I was wondering about that “she”, too.

I didn’t think laszlo was someone who believes that God is a “mother god.” I hope there will be a clarification. I’m guessing it was a typo.

 

[puzzleannie]

The “key” to Puzzleannie’s statement is “if I can”. I would agree that receiving heals all my problems but not at the expense of receiving outside of being in a state of grace.

If in doubt, do a spiritual communion and get to confession asap.

absolutely nothing OP describes is “being outside the state of grace”.

He is the best judge, in prudence of whether he is “worthily disposed”. He asked how other people feel and act in similar situations.

 

[Jayne_L]

A second suggestion is to speak with Father and ask if the seat in church could be reserved each week. I think it is reasonable. There are a lot of churches where seats are reserved for certain people; e.g., in our church, there are seats designed for the handicapped. And sometimes seats will be reserved when a large family group (25-50 people) is coming to Mass in order to celebrate a wedding anniversary. Also, the seat for the Lector is marked “RESERVED FOR LECTOR.”

So why couldn’t a sign be put on that pew that a certain seat is “RESERVED”? The usher would be able to make sure that the seat is held for the OP. I wouldn’t be upset by this if I were another parishioner. I don’t consider it any kind of elitism or anything. It’s just something practical–if a certain parishioner(s) require a certain seat for some reason, then why not allow them to have it every week?

Now of course, this wouldn’t stop a family of children from sitting in front of the OP, or any other noisy family or person. But I’m guessing that if the OP were to sit in that seat week after week, the people would learn that the OP prefers quiet, and the noisy families and people would gravitate to another seat. Another possibility is that ushers could quietly drect noisy families away from the seats around the OP. The usher could quietly take the father or mother aside and tell them that a certain parishioner suffers from anxiety and gets upset if there is excessive noise, and ask if the family could move to another spot in the church. I think most people would be sympathetic and comply with the request.

I guess I just don’t consider it unreasonable of the OP to ask if his/her seating arrangement can be respected in Mass. Maybe it’s because of my friend–I know that anxiety is very real., and I think we should do the best we can to be welcoming and hospitable to people at Mass.

I am in a similiar position to your friend. I suffer from severe anxiety and am unable to work as a result - I live on a disability pension.

I understand the logic behind your suggestion, but having an officially “reserved” seat held for me would just increase my anxiety. I’d feel like it was highlighting my presence to other parishioners - they’d certainly wonder why this seat was been reserved. I would struggle to even show up to mass if this occured.

 

[Stavros]

I am in a similiar position to your friend. I suffer from severe anxiety and am unable to work as a result - I live on a disability pension.

I understand the logic behind your suggestion, but having an officially “reserved” seat held for me would just increase my anxiety. I’d feel like it was highlighting my presence to other parishioners - they’d certainly wonder why this seat was been reserved. I would struggle to even show up to mass if this occured.

Yeah, I’d feel the same way. I just have to make sure to get there as early as I can so that I can get a preferred seat.

 

[Cat]

I am in a similiar position to your friend. I suffer from severe anxiety and am unable to work as a result - I live on a disability pension.

I understand the logic behind your suggestion, but having an officially “reserved” seat held for me would just increase my anxiety. I’d feel like it was highlighting my presence to other parishioners - they’d certainly wonder why this seat was been reserved. I would struggle to even show up to mass if this occured.

That makes sense.

Oh, well, I guess the best option is early arrival. That’s not so bad–gives a chance to pray, read the readings, etc.

 

[pnewton]

Yes, I have done what the OP has described once. I do not justify it and I think I was in the wrong to allow my emotions to interfere with the reception of God’s grace. I am sure I will do it again, though I hope not.

 

[theistgal]

I really like the Eastern way of looking at the Eucharist: it’s the ultimate Medicine for our bodies and our souls!

If you are stressed and anxious, then you should DEFINITELY go, because that’s when you need Him the most!

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

I really like the Eastern way of looking at the Eucharist: it’s the ultimate Medicine for our bodies and our souls!

If you are stressed and anxious, then you should DEFINITELY go, because that’s when you need Him the most!

While this is true I feel that we must avoid a feeling of “obligation” to receive the Eucharist at every Eucharistic Liturgy. I also feel that we need to avoid the feeling of “ordinariness” in reception of the Eucharist.

IMHO what the OP did was correct as that is how the OP felt at the time. No one is in a place to judge the actions of the OP. No one has a right to tell someone that they should or should not receive the Eucharist unless they know that the person is in mortal sin then they should tell the person not to receive. I think the only person that should rightly advise a person on the reception of the Eucharist is that persons spiritual director or confessor.

The OP did nothing wrong.

 

[Sirach2]

Today’s reading spoke to me very powerfully, the gospel where Jesus personally invites, or rather urges us to “Come to ME all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest.”

Yes, you were burdened, and Our Lord knows your state of mind. I read something in a saint’s biography somewhere, I think St. Faustina, where Jesus admonished her for not receiving Him for similar reasons. It just came to me as I was posting, so I’ll have to look it up for you.

In the interim when you feel indisposed or unworthy, you can always make a beautiful “spiritual communion.” This is a good practice that I have seen promoted on the EWTN liturgies, where the announcer always says, “For those who cannot now received Jesus” … I forget the exact words … we implore Him to come into our hearts spiritually and welcome Him as though he was sacramentally present. One may receive many graces for this interior communion.

 

[ProVobis]

absolutely nothing OP describes is “being outside the state of grace”.

But the problem is what if the anger itself (or argument with the spouse, for that matter) is thought of as a mortal sin, which then would prohibit you from receiving? If in doubt, why compound the anxiety?

BTW, I’ve heard that in some cultures, married people will abstain from receiving if they’ve just had sex. Again, if it increases the anxiety, I would say postpone the communion or say an act of spiritual communion. I don’t think you’re disrespecting God this way; in fact, I think it makes you more of the believer of the Real Presence.

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

But the problem is what if the anger itself (or argument with the spouse, for that matter) is thought of as a mortal sin, which then would prohibit you from receiving? If in doubt, why compound the anxiety?

BTW, I’ve heard that in some cultures, married people will abstain from receiving if they’ve just had sex. Again, if it increases the anxiety, I would say postpone the communion or say an act of spiritual communion. I don’t think you’re disrespecting God this way; in fact, I think it makes you more of the believer of the Real Presence.

I believe I can say that this is something we can agree on.

 

[Sirach2]

Ah, I found the reference, and it was indeed from St. Faustina’s Diary. Stavros, I share the words from Our Lord, and invite you to take them in prayer and ask Jesus to speak to your heart about His will for you in this matter.

156 Once, l desired very much to receive Holy Communion, but I had a certain doubt, and I did not go. I suffered greatly because of this. It seemed to me that my heart would burst from the pain. When I set about my work, my heart full of bitterness, Jesus suddenly stood by me and said,** My daughter, do not omit Holy Communion unless you know well that your fall was serious; apart from this, no doubt must stop you from uniting yourself with Me in the mystery of My love. Your minor faults will disappear in My love like a piece of straw thrown into a great furnace. Know that you grieve Me much when you fail to receive Me in Holy Communion.**

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[Stitchwort]

I had occasion to discuss this very question recently with my spiritual director.

Let me be clear: It is the nature of small children to be noisy and restless, and I believe they absolutely belong at Mass anyway. I am very good at tuning them out under ordinary circumstances. However, when the children in question are my two small grandsons, climbing over my knees, and I’m one of the adults responsible for them and their behaviour, “tuning it out” becomes impossible and on some days I can be feeling very frazzled, scattered, and utterly indisposed to receive by communion time.

His advice (and he is a very holy priest) was that that is probably when I need communion most.

I’m sure that if the scenario were that I spent all of Mass seething with anger over some recent incident, the advice would have been different.

That said, I don’t have the anxiety issues of the OP, which might affect the decision.

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

I had occasion to discuss this very question recently with my spiritual director.

Let me be clear: It is the nature of small children to be noisy and restless, and I believe they absolutely belong at Mass anyway. I am very good at tuning them out under ordinary circumstances. However, when the children in question are my two small grandsons, climbing over my knees, and I’m one of the adults responsible for them and their behaviour, “tuning it out” becomes impossible and on some days I can be feeling very frazzled, scattered, and utterly indisposed to receive by communion time.

His advice (and he is a very holy priest) was that that is probably when I need communion most.

I’m sure that if the scenario were that I spent all of Mass seething with anger over some recent incident, the advice would have been different.

That said, I don’t have the anxiety issues of the OP, which might affect the decision.

I would also like to point out that the advice given by a spiritual director to a directee is not meant to be advise for everyone. A spiritual director and directee have a special relationship and the advice given is to that directee and not necessarily for general use.

 

[Irishgal49]

This.

I don’t see the point of attending Mass if you’re not going to receive. Isn’t that the whole point of Mass?

If I commit a mortal sin I still attend mass. It’s bad enough I committed a mortal sin I am not going to stop going to mass and compound it. Actually you can usually get a priest afterwards and confess. If I start avoiding mass when I’m not taking communion then I am setting myself up to avoid church every time I “don’t feel like it”

 

[starrball]

I had occasion to discuss this very question recently with my spiritual director.

Let me be clear: It is the nature of small children to be noisy and restless, and I believe they absolutely belong at Mass anyway. I am very good at tuning them out under ordinary circumstances. However, when the children in question are my two small grandsons, climbing over my knees, and I’m one of the adults responsible for them and their behaviour, “tuning it out” becomes impossible and on some days I can be feeling very frazzled, scattered, and utterly indisposed to receive by communion time.

His advice (and he is a very holy priest) was that that is probably when I need communion most.

I’m sure that if the scenario were that I spent all of Mass seething with anger over some recent incident, the advice would have been different.

That said, I don’t have the anxiety issues of the OP, which might affect the decision.

And since I bring the kids to church, if I were to apply this logic I might never get communion! Although I try not to let them disrupt my peace but there are plenty of interruptions!

 

[Rich_C]

This.

I don’t see the point of attending Mass if you’re not going to receive. Isn’t that the whole point of Mass?

Actually, this is a misconception that the Council of Trent addressed.

The Mass is primarily a sacrifice (Christ offering Himself to the Father for our sake in the consecration, the same Sacrifice He made on the Cross but different in appearance) and being present at the sacrifice is the source of lots of grace, even if we don’t receive.