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Irish_Becca
Guest
Hi everyone,
I don’t know if you remember me, but I posted several months ago about the marriage difficulties my husband and I were having. The title of my post was “Not in love anymore”. I thank you all so much for your prayers and kindness. I love to know such wonderful, good Catholics around the world have thought of me.
I wanted to give you an update on our situation. Sadly, it’s not a good one. I ended up coming back to Japan with my husband to try to work things out. I enrolled in classes (got all A’s!) and am currently taking one class - I have hit a wall as to what I can take over here. But, I also have an A in this class. So things continued to decline, and my husband finally told me that he has the overwhelming desire to cross-dress. You might remember that he had hidden a porn addiction and alcoholism from me, and that he had a terrible childhood, being molested, beaten, and emotionally abused by his stepfather, and emotionally abused and neglected by his stepmother. In any case, I was devastated and very angry, as there was yet another problem of his to take over our lives.
We fought endlessly over this issue until finally, I ran crying to my priest about all this. There just happened to be a Catholic counselor here on base and I had several sessions with him. My husband has somewhat cut out his drinking and agreed to go to counseling for his childhood, was put on the maximum dose of Zoloft, however the urge to cross-dress persists. He is, however, trying to view cross-dressing as a negative thing instead of just no big deal, and promised and promised me he would never do it, as my biggest fear is the boys will see. Well, he went to the store and bought himself a bra and hid it from me for a few days, and then one night I caught him wearing it. Now he shaves all his body hair because he finds it unsightly, and we do not have sex because I have moral issues with feeling feminine legs next to mine during the act, not to mention that it is just a huge turn-off to me. He knows this, but chooses to do it anyway.
At this point, I feel pretty much emotionally checked-out of the relationship. I am making plans and trying to prepare myself for what I see as the inevitable. I guess there is a small chance if there is a miracle from God that this counseling could work, but I am through spending my time trying to help him with books, research, talking, listening, etc. It always just seems to be for some benefit of his, attention or something. His abusive stepfather was diagnose with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and frankly, I am beginning to wonder if this isn’t also the case with my husband. I have been deceived and emotionally abused for 7 years, and I am just tired of it.
I ask you to please continue to pray for me, and for my children and husband. I have new-found strength through and faith in my dear Lord. Please pray it continues.
Thank you and God bless.
I don’t know if you remember me, but I posted several months ago about the marriage difficulties my husband and I were having. The title of my post was “Not in love anymore”. I thank you all so much for your prayers and kindness. I love to know such wonderful, good Catholics around the world have thought of me.
I wanted to give you an update on our situation. Sadly, it’s not a good one. I ended up coming back to Japan with my husband to try to work things out. I enrolled in classes (got all A’s!) and am currently taking one class - I have hit a wall as to what I can take over here. But, I also have an A in this class. So things continued to decline, and my husband finally told me that he has the overwhelming desire to cross-dress. You might remember that he had hidden a porn addiction and alcoholism from me, and that he had a terrible childhood, being molested, beaten, and emotionally abused by his stepfather, and emotionally abused and neglected by his stepmother. In any case, I was devastated and very angry, as there was yet another problem of his to take over our lives.
We fought endlessly over this issue until finally, I ran crying to my priest about all this. There just happened to be a Catholic counselor here on base and I had several sessions with him. My husband has somewhat cut out his drinking and agreed to go to counseling for his childhood, was put on the maximum dose of Zoloft, however the urge to cross-dress persists. He is, however, trying to view cross-dressing as a negative thing instead of just no big deal, and promised and promised me he would never do it, as my biggest fear is the boys will see. Well, he went to the store and bought himself a bra and hid it from me for a few days, and then one night I caught him wearing it. Now he shaves all his body hair because he finds it unsightly, and we do not have sex because I have moral issues with feeling feminine legs next to mine during the act, not to mention that it is just a huge turn-off to me. He knows this, but chooses to do it anyway.
At this point, I feel pretty much emotionally checked-out of the relationship. I am making plans and trying to prepare myself for what I see as the inevitable. I guess there is a small chance if there is a miracle from God that this counseling could work, but I am through spending my time trying to help him with books, research, talking, listening, etc. It always just seems to be for some benefit of his, attention or something. His abusive stepfather was diagnose with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and frankly, I am beginning to wonder if this isn’t also the case with my husband. I have been deceived and emotionally abused for 7 years, and I am just tired of it.
I ask you to please continue to pray for me, and for my children and husband. I have new-found strength through and faith in my dear Lord. Please pray it continues.
Thank you and God bless.
