Not liking someone

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vin_dedvukaj

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I need some advice. There are a couple of people who I am related to and God forgive me I just don’t like at all, I can’t be beat around the bush about it, they really bother me.These people are a near occasion of sin for me in regards to anger, their very hard core feminist leftists and always indirectly saying something sly or wise about me or the faith. I always pray for these people and I love them as much as possible, but lately I just think about cutting myself off completely for these people. Any thoughts if what I am thinking is good approach or could their be another way.
 
By taking the high road. Don’t speak badly of them, or to them.
If you must see them due to family events or the like, keep some distance if you can, but be cordial if face to face. There is no law that you must socialize with people we don’t get along with or that are toxic. Just be kind.
 
There is no requirement to like everyone you know. It’s human nature to dislike certain people for whatever reason. But as @Irishmom2 said, always try to be charitable to/about them.
 
I stay away from people who anger me in my family. And if I find it’s harmful to me or my children I completely stay away.
 
Well no not voluntary I can’t predict the future I don’t know these people are going to make me made or upset but lately it has
 
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There are two books with the title, Boundaries, one by Henry Cloud and the other by Anne-Katharine. I’d recommend either one of them. With a healthy sense of boundaries, we’re liberated from feeling triggered by other people’s beliefs . . . or their intolerance of our own. You don’t have to be buddy-buddy with these people, but you don’t need to allow yourself to be bothered by them, either.

They aren’t the first and sadly won’t be the last to take stabs at your faith, but doing some of your own mental health housekeeping will equip you to deal with these types of people.
 
vin_dedvukaj said:
Well no not voluntary I can’t predict the future I don’t know these people are going to make me made or upset but lately it has
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We are obliged to avoid the near and voluntary occasion of mortal sin. Being involuntarily angry is not that. Plus being a mortal fifth commandment sin means seriously willing harm on the other.

Baltimore Catechism No. 3:
Q. 774. How many kinds of occasions of sin are there?
A. There are four kinds of occasions of sin:
1. Near occasions, through which we always fall;
2. Remote occasions, through which we sometimes fall;
3. Voluntary occasions or those we can avoid; and
4. Involuntary occasions or those we cannot avoid.
A person who lives in a near and voluntary occasion of sin need not expect forgiveness while he continues in that state.
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vin_dedvukaj said:
but lately I just think about cutting myself off completely for these people.
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I get the feeling that they will miss you in their lives as little as you will miss them in yours. If by “related” you mean something other than parents, grandparents, children, grandchildren, or siblings, then it would perhaps be best to let the relationship die a natural death on its own accord. Grand statements, explanations or discussion of any sort are superfluous. Just stop interacting with them in any way. Like I said, it’s unlikely that they will be genuinely disappointed.

If you MUST meet at family affairs, BRIEFLY greet them cordially, then disengage. DON"T EVER SAY ANYTHING BAD (or anything at all) about them to anyone else. Deflect the topic if it ever comes up, or else YOU end up looking like the bad guy.
 
I don’t know what your doing but no offense you starting to get a little annoying. You did this on my last post I am not interested in seeing how smart your are in regards to Catholic Theology, and I didn’t ask what the near occasion of sin was ,I know that very well. The post was about something else completely please stop whatever it is your trying to show me. Thank you
 
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vin_dedvukaj said:
I don’t know what your doing but no offense you starting to get a little annoying. You did this on my last post I am not interested in seeing how smart your are in regards to Catholic Theology, and I didn’t ask what the near occasion of sin was ,I know that very well. The post was about something else complete please stop whatever it is your trying to show me. Thank you
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I am sorry that I have annoyed you, no offense intended.
 
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Just avoid and ignore them right away. Only talk for a brief greeting so things seem sort of normal.
 
Everyone else has given good advice. I will just add a comment that a priest once told my mom, who was feeling guilty that she didn’t like some of the women she had to interact with in church groups and such. The priest told her that God said we had to love other people, but he didn’t say we had to like them.

By that he meant that when we meet others who get on our nerves, we have to treat them with kindness and charity, be polite, maybe even nice, and pray for them. All of which it sounds like you are doing. But we don’t have to force ourselves to spend time in their company, and it’s normal to dislike some people you meet or just find them hard to get along with.

I agree with learning to set healthy boundaries and limiting the time you spend with such people, unless they are ill or needy and you absolutely have to help them.
 
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I’m curious…have you ever told them that are making remarks that make you feel bad? If you have, then avoiding them and ceasing interaction as much as possible is the healthy thing to do.

On the other hand, if you have not, maybe you should…with utmost kindness, tell them that you respect that they have a different point of view but you don’t feel like they are returning the favor.

I believe in giving people the chance to behave better. If they don’t, it’s on them and I have no obligation to be their doormat. We all need to have boundaries in our life and know how to set them for our own peace of mind.

I love what @Tis_Bearself said, your commanded to love them but you don’t have to like them! So true!
 
I have a similar situation, but it is someone I work with. My constant prayer is-

“Jesus, I have to love or compassion for this person, enter my heart and become love and compassion for this persons sake.”

I found that after a while of praying this, I was more open to being kind to them. No, I did not like them any more and they did not annoy me any less. I simply opened the door of my heart to Jesus for him to work in.
 
Yes we have had debates about faith and other things of that matter and it just takes a turn to being disrespectful, not even just about faith but these particular people are just very arrogant and I really can’t stand arrogant people.
 
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