Not marrying catholic?

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Lucy23

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I’m Catholic, but the person I plan on marrying is Christian. He’s okay with a lot of my religion but doesn’t agree with praying to saints because he says it’s “idol worship.” He would be okay with baptizing our children Catholic, and them attending mass but not participating in “worshiping saints.” We’ve been bumping heads quit a bit lately, and honestly, I’m confused myself on what is “wrong” and “right.” I understand we pray through the saints and ask them for extra help and do not worship them but I still feel wrong praying to them now. I’m confused and feel sick to my stomach everyday thinking I’m doing something wrong now. I never questioned my religion until the past few months. I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this… I do read the King James bible version and I’m confused why is it different vs the catholic holy bible? (I know Catholic Bible contains more books) but why doesn’t the KJV have those books as well? Sorry, so many questions. Any advice would be great! God bless !
 
Is he a different Christian denomination? Or was he raised in one?

Honestly, it concerns me that he doesn’t seem to care enough about your faith to try and truly understand it. It also concerns me that he doesn’t seem to have any respect for your beliefs. It’s a red flag and I wouldn’t marry him unless something significantly changed.
 
He reads the KJV bible but currently doesn’t identify under a denomination just a follow of Jesus Christ…he wasn’t raised growing up in the church really…but recently as been drawn to Christ. I do understand what you’re saying but he comes to mass with me often and has researched things on his own but doesn’t agree with the catholic beliefs. He respects my beliefs & doesn’t mind what I do, is okay getting married in the catholic church, baptizing our children catholic and them attending catholic mass he just does not agree with everything. Such as praying to the saints, I try to explain we do not worship them but he reads scripture saying it’s idol worship & I don’t know how to agure back bc it kind of does sound like idol worship when I read it too…
 
This is just my opinion and I am sure others would disagree but I don’t see this as a real problem at all. He hasn’t said you can’t pray to saints and he is supportive of the children being Catholic. He might not want them to pray to saints as time goes by, but that is a long way in the future and who knows how he might change his own mind in that time? He might end up converting because of your example. He also attends Mass with you. I think to give up on a what sounds a really supportive partner just because he doesn’t do everything the way you do, or think the way you do right now, well, all I can say is that you are very lucky to have found such a person. St Augustine took years before he became a Catholic but Monica prayed for him all the time. Why can’t you pray for understanding for both of you, since you don’t seem all that clear about saints either. Give it time and prayer.
 
Thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut, I really appreciate it! Hands down he’s awesome, we get along tremendously and he’s the best thing since sliced bread 😉 but when it comes to religion we do bump our heads slightly. I try to focuse on our similarities instead of our differences; bc we both love Jesus. My goal isn’t to give up on our relationship and hopefully God can help us with that. I just worry if he never converts to Catholicism and if that will be okay :confused:
 
If he never becomes Catholic then it is up to both of you to respect each other’s faith and to trust in God to take care of both of you. If he feels you trying to push him, he might just back away. It isn’t your job to convert him, it’s your job to be an example. Do your best and leave the rest to God. I think St Paul has a lot to say about this kind of thing but I can’t remember the chapters and verses offhand. Read through some of his letters and see if you can’t find some inspiration there.
 

Saints​

Baptizing kids Catholic and going to mass​

Good

Concerns about Catholicism​

Lucy23 said:
I’m confused and feel sick to my stomach everyday thinking I’m doing something wrong now. I never questioned my religion until the past few months.
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In the soothing voice of Mark Hart (43:33-44:08):


To add on to that, it is good that you are now questioning. You are on Catholic.com. Look up things. It was once said, We Catholics know what we believe, but not why. This site can answer the why.

Their is a book https://store.patrickmadrid.com/pope-fiction/, I recommend you read that. You might ask yourself, is it wise to Marry in this situation. I am no theologian, talk to a trusted priest.

Bible differences​

 
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I suggest you sit down with your priest to talk.

It does not sound like you should marry this person, if he is going to pressure you about your own religion. He says now that you could baptize the children Catholic, but he is already putting restrictions on raising them in the faith.

He is confusing you, and you are not well grounded in your own faith. That is a recipe for disaster.

This is a giant red flag you should not marry this man.
 
As someone who married a non-Catholic, if the guy is giving you this much religious hassle before you’re married, don’t marry him. He will just get worse after you are married.

My Protestant husband did not believe a number of things Catholics do, but he didn’t have a problem with me believing it. He also didn’t mind Mary or the saints. If he had ever said anything against them I wouldn’t have married him. He came from an area with many Catholics and he saw how they were and was okay with that even if he himself wasn’t praying to them.
 
I will say, he doesn’t have to agree with all catholic beliefs in order to marry you.
But if he does he should be aware and agree that his children would be taught some things he does’nt agree.
And he should not pressure you into stop believing some of your beliefs.
 
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This. I was the protestant when we got married. I never would have dreamed of saying that my husband could raise the kids Catholic but there were certain Catholic things they couldn’t do.
 
Lucy23 said:
I’m Catholic, but the person I plan on marrying is Christian.
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Well, Catholics are Christians.
Lucy23 said:
He’s okay with a lot of my religion but doesn’t agree with praying to saints because he says it’s “idol worship.”
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Do you want to marry someone who thinks you would commit such a grave sin as idolatry? To raise children who’s father will tell them that their mom, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins are idolaters?

I would suggest you get the Video “Common Ground” it is available on Amazon Prime

https://www.amazon.com/Common-Ground-Father-John-Riccardo/dp/B01L355SV6

Also, never marry anyone expecting them to change. Expect them to be exactly as they are for the next 60 years of your life.
 
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The job of a spouse is to help the other achieve heaven. I see two problems here. 1.You disagree on how to do that. And 2. You have not sufficiently explained to a man you would spend the rest of your life with why a basic belief of your faith is not idol worship.

Think about it. If he really thinks you worship idols, how is that love? If he thinks you are breaking the very first and most important command and is ok with you following a religion that does and, according to him, is false? How exactly is that a loving act?
 
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Have said many times, and I will say it again. I have known exactly one real life mixed marriage that worked out for years without the battle of the Reformation happening in the living room, and three of my “virtual online acquaintances”.

Tis_Bear is one of those. There is another on this board. Listen to these folks.
 
Lou2U said:
Honestly, it concerns me that he doesn’t seem to care enough about your faith to try and truly understand it.
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It doesn’t seem like he’s not trying to understand it. He’s just disagreeing with it. One can understand something and also not think it is true.

Lucy23, hopefully you and your guy can find a healthy compromise.
 
Praying to saints to intercede is not idol worship. Much like asking others to pray for us is not idol worship. And it is indeed biblical. And All christian faiths did this for over a 1500 years.

perhaps she hasn’t explained her faith well.
 
Hoosier-Daddy said:
Praying to saints to intercede is not idol worship. Much like asking others to pray for us is not idol worship. And it is indeed biblical. And All christian faiths did this for over a 1500 years.

perhaps she hasn’t explained her faith well.
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I understand the issue from both the Catholic side and the non-Catholic Christian side. One side considers it biblical while the other doesn’t. Like I said, one can understand how the other side thinks about an issue while at the same time thinking they are incorrect. To bring it back to the topic-at-hand, this very well might be how the OP’s husband looks at it – understanding yet disagreeing.
 
Mike_from_NJ said:
To bring it back to the topic-at-hand, this very well might be how the OP’s husband looks at it – understanding yet disagreeing.
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Rational people know that things like faith cannot be both true and untrue. It is not something subjective like “which flavor of ice cream to you prefer” or “Coke vs Pepsi”.

Either veneration if the Saints is idolatry or it is not. Both cannot be true. Heaven forbid you bring children into the mix, because kids are smart. It is likely as not they decide that because both cannot be true, neither is true and they walk away from Christianity all together.
 
I know Catholics who don’t pray to saints. They just don’t. But it doesn’t make them any less Catholic. Some recite the Psalms (LOH) while others prefer Adoration. Some go to daily Mass, others Sunday only. There is no one correct way to be a Catholic with regard to things that aren’t dogmatic.

Personally, I don’t think you should be getting your marriage advice from a public forum.As you can see, there are many differing opinions. Your fiance will have to go through marriage prep with a priest and can ask him these questions. I know many ‘mixed’ Catholic/non Catholic marriages and they can work out fine if there is mutual respect. But there are a lot of people on here who obviously disagree with me, so talk to your fiance and your priest and work it out with them.
 
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