Not speaking up...mortal sin?

[Veronica97]

Tonight my husband and I had dinner with my sister and her husband. My sister and I did not grow up together and we did not meet until we were adults. I see her about every other year and we speak occasionally on the phone or by email. We have a cordial relationship but are not exceptionally close. Somehow the topic of Hillary Clinton possibly running for president next time came up. I used to be a Democrat, but since my reversion two years ago, I vote pro-life. It’s a point of contention between my husband and me, and it’s an uncomfortable topic of conversation that I definitely would not have been the one to bring up. My husband had been saying that he voted for Hillary in the primary and had a sticker in our garage. My sister looked right at me and said, “Well, I don’t suppose Hillary would be any worse than the men we’ve had.” I looked at her and nodded my head in agreement, feeling a little uncomfortable doing so, but then I thought, “Well, it WOULD be hard to be worse than the presidents we’ve had in recent years.” But then I thought, “I should say something about how I’m not for Hillary.” But I wasn’t sure how my sister and BIL feel about politics and I didn’t want to ruffle any feathers b/c I see them so infrequently, so I was silent. Then the conversation turned to something else and I was hoping I would have another opportunity to speak up, but I didn’t. Now I feel like I may have committed the sin of scandal b/c my sister and BIL may think that Catholics are okay with voting for pro-choice candidates. I have told God I am sorry, and I intend to write a letter to my sister, telling her how I have changed my opinion about politics–that I am not a Democrat anymore, but I’m not a Republican either-- I am a Catholic Christian first, and thus, I vote for the most pro-life candidate. I don’t think she will be upset–she may have only made the comment about Hillary b/c she didn’t want to offend ME, since she may have thought I was still a Democrat. How serious does scandal have to be before it becomes a mortal sin? I’m still learning about these things b/c I failed to learn my faith properly in the past.

 

[Veronica97]

Tonight my husband and I had dinner with my sister and her husband. My sister and I did not grow up together and we did not meet until we were adults. I see her about every other year and we speak occasionally on the phone or by email. We have a cordial relationship but are not exceptionally close. Somehow the topic of Hillary Clinton possibly running for president next time came up. I used to be a Democrat, but since my reversion two years ago, I vote pro-life. It’s a point of contention between my husband and me, and it’s an uncomfortable topic of conversation that I definitely would not have been the one to bring up. My husband had been saying that he voted for Hillary in the primary election before last, and had a sticker in our garage. My sister looked right at me and said, “Well, I don’t suppose Hillary would be any worse than the men we’ve had.” I looked at her and nodded my head in agreement, feeling a little uncomfortable doing so, but then I thought, “Well, it WOULD be hard to be worse than the presidents we’ve had in recent years.” But then I thought, “I should say something about how I’m not for Hillary.” But I wasn’t sure how my sister and BIL feel about politics and I didn’t want to ruffle any feathers b/c I see them so infrequently, so I was silent. Then the conversation turned to something else and I was hoping I would have another opportunity to speak up, but I didn’t. Now I feel like I may have committed the sin of scandal b/c my sister and BIL may think that Catholics are okay with voting for pro-choice candidates. I have told God I am sorry, and I intend to write a letter to my sister, telling her how I have changed my opinion about politics–that I am not a Democrat anymore, but I’m not a Republican either-- I am a Catholic Christian first, and thus, I vote for the most pro-life candidate. I don’t think she will be upset–she may have only made the comment about Hillary b/c she didn’t want to offend ME, since she may have thought I was still a Democrat. How serious does scandal have to be before it becomes a mortal sin? I’m still learning about these things b/c I failed to learn my faith properly in the past.

 

[Phil_Marinus]

Each side of politics have good and bad points, it’s the same in most civilised countries,
But you must remember , you must support someone, not to support and vote for someone goes against everything that democracy stands for,
Millions of people suffered and died just so you can enjoy a thing called Democracy…
Hillary Clinton, if she is lucky enough to become your president, would make a great president because of her amazing political skills… And yes considering the clown before Obama… She would be great, so what can you do ?
You must look at the bigger picture , the greater good. You must judge who is the lesser evil in the bigger picture. If that makes sense… And if other people have a completely differing view to yourself… Just accept there argument because your view is your view.
And some people are obsessed with there own political ideals ,so you will never win.

 

[MSSheBear]

I would just drop the issue and not worry about it. If they ask directly who you are voting for you can say “I vote pro-life.” It is kind of hard to know what to say at the spur of the moment.

 

[Neofight]

Tonight my husband and I had dinner with my sister and her husband. My sister and I did not grow up together and we did not meet until we were adults. I see her about every other year and we speak occasionally on the phone or by email. We have a cordial relationship but are not exceptionally close. Somehow the topic of Hillary Clinton possibly running for president next time came up. I used to be a Democrat, but since my reversion two years ago, I vote pro-life. It’s a point of contention between my husband and me, and it’s an uncomfortable topic of conversation that I definitely would not have been the one to bring up. My husband had been saying that he voted for Hillary in the primary and had a sticker in our garage. My sister looked right at me and said, “Well, I don’t suppose Hillary would be any worse than the men we’ve had.” I looked at her and nodded my head in agreement, feeling a little uncomfortable doing so, but then I thought, “Well, it WOULD be hard to be worse than the presidents we’ve had in recent years.” But then I thought, “I should say something about how I’m not for Hillary.” But I wasn’t sure how my sister and BIL feel about politics and I didn’t want to ruffle any feathers b/c I see them so infrequently, so I was silent. Then the conversation turned to something else and I was hoping I would have another opportunity to speak up, but I didn’t. Now I feel like I may have committed the sin of scandal b/c my sister and BIL may think that Catholics are okay with voting for pro-choice candidates. I have told God I am sorry, and I intend to write a letter to my sister, telling her how I have changed my opinion about politics–that I am not a Democrat anymore, but I’m not a Republican either-- I am a Catholic Christian first, and thus, I vote for the most pro-life candidate. I don’t think she will be upset–she may have only made the comment about Hillary b/c she didn’t want to offend ME, since she may have thought I was still a Democrat. How serious does scandal have to be before it becomes a mortal sin? I’m still learning about these things b/c I failed to learn my faith properly in the past.

Many have a tendency to equate political affiliation with righteousness and perhaps salvation. Mother Church does not claim that salvation comes only through the Catholic Church, so it seems ridiculous to believe that political conservatives are favored over liberals by God! Or Republicans over Democrats.

As the last poster noted, political arguments are often fruitless.

If your concern is truly over your sister’s opinion on abortion, the conversation you should be having is with God, by praying for her, and for God to soften her heart.

Peace and all Good.

 

[Bonnie]

My :twocents:

I don’t think politics or arguing about religion are proper topics for socializing at dinner. If I were at dinner with people who insisted on arguing politics or religion, that would likely be the last time I would go to dinner with them. Dissension at meals ruins my digestion.

 

[Anglewannabe]

I honestly don’t get how talking politics in general equates one’s opinion on abortion. It sounds to me like your sister knew politics was a bad topic so she made a quick comment to indicate it was time to change the topic.

I live in Ontario Canada where the liberal leader is a woman who came out of the closet later in life after divorcing the husband she had kids with. I think she is a joke but… when discussing politics, I would be first and foremost concerned with what she is doing for the economy

Angie

 

[rebeccanew]

We do not live in a democracy, we are a republic. …and to the republic for which we stand…In a democracy the majority rules. In a republic, the rules are set (the Constitution) and we must follow them.

 

[Phil_Marinus]

We do not live in a democracy, we are a republic. …and to the republic for which we stand…In a democracy the majority rules. In a republic, the rules are set (the Constitution) and we must follow them.

Really ? I would never have thought of that… Democracies have a Constitution as well…
and in a good Democracy the Constitution can be changed by the People by way of a Referendum… in a Republic like some form backward republic in some unGodly part of the world., A Republic can Change the Constitution without public approval…

 

[vlf7973]

A democracy is when everyone votes on the nation’s laws and policies.
A republic is when representatives vote on the nation’s laws and policies.

We live in a republic. The laws are made by representatives, not by the people. The representatives are elected democratically but the nation is not run through democracy.

And “Democrat” vs. “Republican” really has nothing to do with democracy vs. republic. You are not “voting against everything that democracy stands for” simply by voting for a Republican.

Anyway, there’s still plenty of time before the next election to make it clear that you do not vote for pro-abortion candidates. Even if you did inadvertently give the impression that you support Hillary, that’s not a sin and you could always just make it clear next time the topic comes up.

 

[Julian_Bashir]

My :twocents:

I don’t think politics or arguing about religion are proper topics for socializing at dinner. If I were at dinner with people who insisted on arguing politics or religion, that would likely be the last time I would go to dinner with them. Dissension at meals ruins my digestion.

That’s actually my favorite topic. my wife, not so much. She agrees with me on everything polticially and religiously, but I don;t personally like talking about anything that isn’t substantive, and I fond politics and religion so pervasive it becomes hard to avoid. i also feel when human lives are at stake, I don;t like wasting much time on trivial matters.

To the OP, I agree with saying “I vote pro-life, and for an end to abortion.” SOme may attempt to twist Hillary into a pro-life politician, when she clearly is not.

 

[Brandall]

Tonight my husband and I had dinner with my sister and her husband. My sister and I did not grow up together and we did not meet until we were adults. I see her about every other year and we speak occasionally on the phone or by email. We have a cordial relationship but are not exceptionally close. Somehow the topic of Hillary Clinton possibly running for president next time came up. I used to be a Democrat, but since my reversion two years ago, I vote pro-life. It’s a point of contention between my husband and me, and it’s an uncomfortable topic of conversation that I definitely would not have been the one to bring up. My husband had been saying that he voted for Hillary in the primary and had a sticker in our garage. My sister looked right at me and said, “Well, I don’t suppose Hillary would be any worse than the men we’ve had.” I looked at her and nodded my head in agreement, feeling a little uncomfortable doing so, but then I thought, “Well, it WOULD be hard to be worse than the presidents we’ve had in recent years.” But then I thought, “I should say something about how I’m not for Hillary.” But I wasn’t sure how my sister and BIL feel about politics and I didn’t want to ruffle any feathers b/c I see them so infrequently, so I was silent. Then the conversation turned to something else and I was hoping I would have another opportunity to speak up, but I didn’t. Now I feel like I may have committed the sin of scandal b/c my sister and BIL may think that Catholics are okay with voting for pro-choice candidates. I have told God I am sorry, and I intend to write a letter to my sister, telling her how I have changed my opinion about politics–that I am not a Democrat anymore, but I’m not a Republican either-- I am a Catholic Christian first, and thus, I vote for the most pro-life candidate. I don’t think she will be upset–she may have only made the comment about Hillary b/c she didn’t want to offend ME, since she may have thought I was still a Democrat. How serious does scandal have to be before it becomes a mortal sin? I’m still learning about these things b/c I failed to learn my faith properly in the past.

I love politics but have forced myself from actively following it, on a daily basis because it tends to make me uncharitable. My goal is to stay away from any talk of politics. People have different opinions for various reasons and it’s generally a bad idea to share your views.

As far as abortion goes, I have never and will never vote for anyone that ever seemed sympathetic to those that kill children. The last election, I abstained and didn’t vote for a presidential candidate. The president has a record of strong support for killing babies and the main challenger flip flopped on the issue. Neither deserved my vote. Having said that, I knew, prior to voting, which candidate would get my states electoral college votes.

What you did was charitable. You voicing your overall concerns against voting for a pro abortion candidate would accomplish nothing and could possibly strain an already tender relationship. It really wasn’t the time to go pro life nuclear. Though I’ve never tried, I can’t imagine that there is any one person on this planet that I would agree about everything conceivable. Knowing that, I can still be polite, make friends and just avoid the things that people may feel too strongly about.

That doesn’t mean that I don’t support those that protest baby killing clinics because I do. It’s not something that I could do because I’m just afraid my reaction to those supporting killing babies would not be what it should. Rather than present a bad perspective on the pro life front lines, I offer moral support, financial support and prayer support.

 

[Robert_Sock]

Dear Veronica97,

Please read about mortal sin very carefully, there are three conditions that have to be met in order for something to be a mortal sin. It is important that you are familiar with these so that you do not worry yourself unnecessarily.

Your decision to not speak up was made at the spur of the moment during an uncomfortable political conversation with someone you barely know. That counts as good judgment in my book! Of course we are to speak up for the faith but we need to carefully discern when is the best and proper place to do so. Dinnertime as a guest in someone’s home who may be liberal-leaning would not be the time to spout off…in fact it could be considered rude. Not only that the topic was not abortion but was a political candidate. Now you and I both know that abortion is the most important issue there is, however at the dinner table that evening abortion was probably not even on the radar of your sister and brother in law and you may have caught them both off guard speaking about abortion.

Go ahead and write your sister a note I think that is a wonderful idea! But be positive! Tell her briefly about your wonderful faith journey and how you have found a beautiful treasure! It won’t take long before your sister knows your views on abortion, marriage and other issues…I don’t think it is necessary or even useful to send her a list of how you intend to “vote pro-life”. That may get this issue off your chest but I don’t see how it helps your relationship with your sister grow at all which is the goal here. Hope this helps a little, God bless you!