Not sure how i should act

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riffer791

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Hi
Im just a bit unsre how, as a christian, i should act in certain situations.

I live with 2 of my brothers who arent into christianity/catholocism. both of them smoke weed, lately its become more of a trend for people to come to our house bring their drugs and smoke and drink themselves stupid.

Today a friend came over chopped up a mix had a few cones and went home, also a 15 year old kid came over and had cones with my brother and another friend iv been trying to help get his life back on track, the guy iv been helping gave the 15 year old kid heaps of beers and a few xanax, until he was so wasted that he stumbled around for about an hour before passing out on the back lawn. their turning my home into drug haven and a place for drunken binges.

Im not sure if i should tackle the situation aggressivly, or try to keep the peace.
The thing is they know i dont like the drugs and alcohol but they also know my brothers condone it. Iv remained friends with these people in the hopes that maybe ill have a good influence on them, and they are kind of the poor, and downtrodden, and outcasts in a way was so iv really wanted to help them.

Maybe because of my tolerant, kind and forgiving attitude towards them they think im a bit of a push over. Im thinking maybe its time i put a stop to it, if they wont respond to reasoning maybe they will respond to more agressive and forcefull tactics. Im just not sure if thats the right way to handle it. id appreciate any advice.
 
riffer791 said:
Hi
Im just a bit unsre how, as a christian, i should act in certain situations.

I live with 2 of my brothers who arent into christianity/catholocism. both of them smoke weed, lately its become more of a trend for people to come to our house bring their drugs and smoke and drink themselves stupid.

Today a friend came over chopped up a mix had a few cones and went home, also a 15 year old kid came over and had cones with my brother and another friend iv been trying to help get his life back on track, the guy iv been helping gave the 15 year old kid heaps of beers and a few xanax, until he was so wasted that he stumbled around for about an hour before passing out on the back lawn. their turning my home into drug haven and a place for drunken binges.

Im not sure if i should tackle the situation aggressivly, or try to keep the peace.
The thing is they know i dont like the drugs and alcohol but they also know my brothers condone it. Iv remained friends with these people in the hopes that maybe ill have a good influence on them, and they are kind of the poor, and downtrodden, and outcasts in a way was so iv really wanted to help them.

Maybe because of my tolerant, kind and forgiving attitude towards them they think im a bit of a push over. Im thinking maybe its time i put a stop to it, if they wont respond to reasoning maybe they will respond to more agressive and forcefull tactics. Im just not sure if thats the right way to handle it. id appreciate any advice.
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Whose home is it? If it’s yours alone, set in place 3 rules which will apply to all guests whether they are living there or just visiting (family included)…
  1. Nothing against God
  2. Nothing against the law
  3. Nothing against family
    Give everyone advance notice of the rules and if any of them are broken, toss the guilty.
If it’s not your home… leave.
 
Do you have an anonymous tip of line in the states. where you can contact the police and let them know you’re suspicious and ask them to keep your identity a secret?
 
I am not sure how old any of you are, but what is happening at your house is illegal in some parts and may be in others also because of the ages of the people involved.

I don’t know your situation-whether you rent this place or it belongs to your parents or what, exactly, but that would certainly be helpful to know in advising you what to do.

If possible, you need to move away from this situation or else you risk getting into some serious trouble if you are caught, whether you are involved or not by the mere fact that you live there.

You need to have a serious conversation with your brothers, although it does seem that they don’t seem to care that what they are doing is wrong.

Again, I don’t know how old you or your brothers are, but you need to get out of there if they are unwilling to stop. May God bless you and guide you.
 
Kick your brothers out.
Call the police.

If of those passed out people dies on the property, your place will be crawling with police, and you will b questioned of what you knew and why you did not try to prevent it.
 
You should look for a new place to live. Or, if the house is yours, kick the others out.

If you’re over 18 and the cops roll up when there’s a loaded 15 year old staggering around, you’ll get arrested for contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

If the alcohol and drug use is as common as you say, it’s only a matter of time before the cops show up.
 
Richard320 said:
You should look for a new place to live. Or, if the house is yours, kick the others out.
If you’re over 18 and the cops roll up when there’s a loaded 15 year old staggering around, you’ll get arrested for contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
If the alcohol and drug use is as common as you say, it’s only a matter of time before the cops show up.
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I agree. You are putting yourself in serious legal risk by allowing this stuff to happen in your home. I commend you for caring about their welfare. If you are to act in charity, however, getting yourself in trouble with the law won’t be helping anyone. “Keeping the peace,” as you write will not help anyone to improve their behavior. They will take your silence as approval of their behavior. If you speak up or refuse to go along with them, it will make them uncomfortable, and they might get angry at you. But keeping the peace will allow them to just go deeper into this destructive lifestyle without question.

Please, give us any updates to this situation. I pray for the good of all of you involved.
 
So, let me explain it to you plainly.

When the police arrive at your house to make the arrests, “those aren’t my drugs” will not be persuasive and you will be arrested with everyone else.

Please deal with this TODAY. They go or you go.
 
Tietjen said:
Whose home is it? If it’s yours alone, set in place 3 rules which will apply to all guests whether they are living there or just visiting (family included)…
  1. Nothing against God
  2. Nothing against the law
  3. Nothing against family
    Give everyone advance notice of the rules and if any of them are broken, toss the guilty.
If it’s not your home… leave.
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This house belongs to my parents, my brothers and i rent it from them. This place will be our inheritence one day, its my home as much as it is my brothers i dont want to be driven out of my home by their infidelity.

The older of my brothers isnt too bad, he just has his bong set up in the shed and goes out from time to time has a few cones and i dont really see it happening, but the younger of my brothers didnt smoke until the older moved in and started doing it here.
Now that both my brothers smoke people are getting the impression this is a place they can come and smoke too. The people involved in the incident i told you about, the older of my brothers would be more than willing to tell them to F-off just because he doesnt like them.
Like i said their kind of outcasts, the sort of people that others look down on.
I kind of have a soft spot for people like that and want to be more Christ like, so i befriend them in the hopes that i can be a good influence on them.
But maybe my mums right when she sais you cant help those who wont help themselves.
 
Also Im not worried about getting in trouble with the cops, theres that much pot smoking going on in this area, i dont think the cops are really interested in arresting the average pot smoker and small time dealer.

And if i started calling the cops on people (dogged) i guess id have to be prepared to be hated by alot of people around here.

It seems like im totally surrounded by Godless people, and im the only one opposed to their choice of lifestyle, its like me against society.
Maybe i should go up to the mountains and live as a hermit lol.
 
Have you spoken to your parents about this? If they are the landlords, they have a right to know, and they have a right to expect their “tenants” to follow the law (regardless of the likelihood of getting caught). I admire your desire to be Christ-like. Christ was not always gentile with people. Sometimes, he had to be tough with them.
 
hannajomar said:
Have you spoken to your parents about this? If they are the landlords, they have a right to know, and they have a right to expect their “tenants” to follow the law (regardless of the likelihood of getting caught). I admire your desire to be Christ-like. Christ was not always gentile with people. Sometimes, he had to be tough with them.
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LOL - Christ was never “gentile” with people, he was a Jew!

😉
 
riffer791 said:
Also Im not worried about getting in trouble with the cops, theres that much pot smoking going on in this area, i dont think the cops are really interested in arresting the average pot smoker and small time dealer.

And if i started calling the cops on people (dogged) i guess id have to be prepared to be hated by alot of people around here.

It seems like im totally surrounded by Godless people, and im the only one opposed to their choice of lifestyle, its like me against society.
Maybe i should go up to the mountains and live as a hermit lol.
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They are dealing, too?

You can call the cops anonymously.

What about the Xanax?

Tell your parents and call the cops.
 
I realize you mean well, but I cannot imagine that you could go to an AA are NarcAnon meeting and defend your actions (or lack of them) to anyone who is trying to remain clean and sober. If you can get out of this situation, you should do so immediately. If you’re on the premises or own the place and there are drugs or alcohol furnished to minors, you could get arrested, if not convicted. As it is, your tolerance amounts to complicity and tacit approval, both legally and morally. You are helping no one to repent or amend their lives, and so you are helping no one.

As for how to deal in a Christian manner with the downtrodden who may or may not have drug, alcohol, and/or mental health, legal and socialization issues, if you lived near me I would point you toward the priests who run the missions in the downtown. They deal with this every day, and they know whereof they speak. Find a Catholic mission in the inner city nearest you, and I think you’ll get some practical guidance.

There is a third way between self-righteous condemnation and mute inaction, a way that helps those souls who want out of the prison of their drug and alcohol abuse. Find guidance about how to find that way and follow it. There are many mistakes to be made in finding that way for yourself all over again, and it is best to spare the world a repeat of those.
 
I realize you mean well, but I cannot imagine that you could go to an AA are NarcAnon meeting and defend your actions (or lack of them) to anyone who is trying to remain clean and sober. If you can get out of this situation, you should do so immediately. If you’re on the premises or own the place and there are drugs or alcohol furnished to minors, you could get arrested, if not convicted. As it is, your tolerance amounts to complicity and tacit approval, both legally and morally. You are helping no one to repent or amend their lives, and so you are helping no one.
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I agree with you on that, i didnt know the kid had had so many beers, or the xanax until i noticed how wasted he was and he told me about the xanax. I need to be more stern and forcefull maybe even agressive if it comes to that. and refuse to let them be here if their going to binge drink and smoke weed.

The guy i told you that came over just to smoke weed then went home, he came back over yesterday, i told him sternly not to bring his drugs here, i dont agree with it and i dont want my home to be a drug haven. He said ok, ill respect that.

The kid that got drunk, iv never let him drink here in the past, he knows hes not allowed to drink and smoke here. that incident that happened the other day i should have stopped it from happening. The kids got off to a bad start in life, but i see potential in him, he went on stealing spree and ended up in juvie. hes stolen from me a few times, but i think im making an impression on him, he seems to want to clean up his act, and he told me that the gang members he used to hang out with were trying to talk him into killing somwon so he stopped hanging around with them, so i was pretty pleased to hear that.

The other guy that gave him the xanax, well, im going to tell him if he does anything like that again ill kick him out and he wont be welcome here anymore. But im reluctant to give up on him. He suffers from mental illness, and thinks hes a genius. its hard to get him to take advice.

I dont want to judge them too harshly, it would be kind of hypocritical, i used to be the 15 year old kid wasted on alcohol and drugs, spewing up in somwons front yard, i used to be the guy selling the drugs, and iv been the psycotic guy taken to the psyc ward by the cops too.
 
Have you spoken to your parents about this? If they are the landlords, they have a right to know, and they have a right to expect their “tenants” to follow the law (regardless of the likelihood of getting caught). I admire your desire to be Christ-like. Christ was not always gentile with people. Sometimes, he had to be tough with them.
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I havnt spoken to my parents about it, i should, they will probably back me up.

I know how Jesus handled the situation when people were selling stuff in the temple, maybe thats how i should have handled the situation that happened the other day.

When i suggest being aggressive with people i dont mean beating the daylights out of anyone, i just mean raising my voice and physically escorting them to the door if nescessary. I wonder if any of the people in the temple that were selling stuff thaught of taking Jesus on when he tipped over their tables and chased them out with a cord for a whip. And i wonder what Jesus would have done if they did.

I appreciate all you advice, but im reluctant to call the police on anyone, even anomonously, ultimately my goal is their salvation, and i dont see how betraying their trust is going to score any points with them.
 
riffer791 said:
I havnt spoken to my parents about it, i should, they will probably back me up.

I know how Jesus handled the situation when people were selling stuff in the temple, maybe thats how i should have handled the situation that happened the other day.

When i suggest being aggressive with people i dont mean beating the daylights out of anyone, i just mean raising my voice and physically escorting them to the door if nescessary. I wonder if any of the people in the temple that were selling stuff thaught of taking Jesus on when he tipped over their tables and chased them out with a cord for a whip. And i wonder what Jesus would have done if they did.

I appreciate all you advice, but im reluctant to call the police on anyone, even anomonously, ultimately my goal is their salvation, and i dont see how betraying their trust is going to score any points with them.
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It’s your parents house. They should know.

If your brothers have minors coming over and smoking and taking pills and drinking, and you allow this, You are just as guilty as your brothers. Condoning this illegal activity is not saving anyone.
 
Also Riffer, if your neighbors observe the traffic of buyers and observe the comings and goings, they could very well call the police. If you are home when the police come, you will be swept up in their arrests. Clean it up and throw it out. Tell the users if they continue to use drugs, they are no longer welcome. If they want just food and conversation, they can come over anytime. But absolutely no drugs on your premises.

Be tough. Or you may lose your parents house.

One final thought…if you are searching for a respectable woman to marry, she will turn and run as fast as she can as soon as she knows you are living in a drug house. Ask yourself if you would want your future children in that environment.
 
If your brothers have minors coming over and smoking and taking pills and drinking, and you allow this, You are just as guilty as your brothers. Condoning this illegal activity is not saving anyone.
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I dont condone it im fully against it, the kid came over last night with a friend wanting a pair of scissors to chop up his mull with. and he couldnt understand why i refused to help him.
With my brothers, i wish i could order them to stop smoking but i dont really have that kind of authority over them, their going to do what they want, their not just going to stop smoking pot on my command. And i cant see how calling the cops is going to be the right solution, i want to win people over to the faith, i cant see how having my own brothers arrested by the police is going to do anything but drive them away.
As a christian i represent Christ and the Church, as we all do, i want them to know God is for them not against them, i dont want them to think we cant be trusted, or are out to get them.
 
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