Not sure if my marriage is valid

[rpwolfgang]

Hi everyone. I’ve been married to my wife for 6 years. I’m Catholic. She, at the time of our marriage was protestant. When we got married I wasn’t a very good practicing Catholic. We ended up getting married in a protestant church. We did however meet with the local Catholic Priest. He met with us several times. We also met with a couple in the church for several months prior to the marriage ceremony. My wife has never been baptized but i have. Currenty my wife is converting to Catholicism and is going thru RCIA. I was just reading on the internet that unless both people are baptized the marriage isn’t recognized. Is this true? I’m not sure if we got a dispensation or not. How do i find this out? Is our marriage recognized by the faith?

 

[MisterCorduroy]

Since she is becoming Catholic, I’m sure she won’t object to having your marriage validated by the Church. Go ask your priest about this–I’m sure he won’t mind. This will complete the Sacrament and you will cease to doubt. As for validity, only a tribunal can truly determine that for sure. Praise God she is coming into the Church–for many “mixed” couples they suffer through decades of not being on the same spiritual page and much agony of heart.

 

[Phemie]

Hi everyone. I’ve been married to my wife for 6 years. I’m Catholic. She, at the time of our marriage was protestant. When we got married I wasn’t a very good practicing Catholic. We ended up getting married in a protestant church. We did however meet with the local Catholic Priest. He met with us several times. We also met with a couple in the church for several months prior to the marriage ceremony. My wife has never been baptized but i have. Currenty my wife is converting to Catholicism and is going thru RCIA. I was just reading on the internet that unless both people are baptized the marriage isn’t recognized. Is this true? I’m not sure if we got a dispensation or not. How do i find this out? Is our marriage recognized by the faith?

It’s not true that the marriage is not recognized unless both are baptized. The Church recognizes it as a ‘natural’ marriage, rather than a sacramental one since both parties have to be baptized for it to be a sacrament.

You say you met with your priest and by your accounts you did marriage preparation. Did your priest know that you were planning to marry in the Protestant Church? If so, it’s likely that he petitioned the Bishop for a dispensation from canonical form as well as a dispensation for you to marry a non-baptized person (that one’s required even when you marry in the Catholic Church) and so your marriage would be presumed a valid, natural marriage. Nothing more would be required of you when your wife is baptized.

There is an easy way to check – call the parish where you met with the priest and check to see if the marriage was recorded there OR call the parish where you were baptized and check to see if your record of Baptism shows your marriage. That said, if they don’t it could be that you didn’t let them know that your marriage had taken place – I know that in Canada when a dispensation from form (permission to marry outside the Catholic Church) is granted, it is the Catholic’s responsibility to let his parish know that the marriage has taken place. The parish then lets the baptismal parish know.

Some priests, such as my last pastor, fully cognizant that in the excitement of the day things may be forgotten, send along a form for the officiant to fill in and return to the parish. It’s just a notification that the marriage has taken place, with the details, so that he can enter it in the Parish Register of Marriages.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Hi everyone. I’ve been married to my wife for 6 years. I’m Catholic. She, at the time of our marriage was protestant. When we got married I wasn’t a very good practicing Catholic. We ended up getting married in a protestant church. We did however meet with the local Catholic Priest. He met with us several times. We also met with a couple in the church for several months prior to the marriage ceremony. My wife has never been baptized but i have. Currenty my wife is converting to Catholicism and is going thru RCIA. I was just reading on the internet that unless both people are baptized the marriage isn’t recognized. Is this true? I’m not sure if we got a dispensation or not. How do i find this out? Is our marriage recognized by the faith?

You and your wife should make an appointment with your priest ASAP. Explain the circumstances to him, including the fact that you, as a Catholic, got married in a Protestant Church (not allowed). If you did not have a dispensation to marry outside of our Church, you will need to get your marriage convalidated and I believe (correct me if I’m wrong, someone) that you will need to do this BEFORE your wife enters the Church. So that is why I recommend you meet with a priest as soon as possible, so your wife’s entry is not delayed.

Best of everything to both of you as she comes “home!”

 

[Christianus_Dei]

Oh, and until then, I think the proper procedure is to live as brother and sister until you’re sure.

 

[Joe_5859]

Phemie is correct. Since Baptism is the gateway to the other sacraments, a marriage with one or both parties being unbaptized is not a sacramental marriage, but it certainly can be valid.

It would be a good idea to speak with your priest about this. With your wife going through RCIA, these questions usually get brought up anyway, but it never hurts to be proactive. Explain the situation to the priest and he’ll know what (if anything) needs to be done.

God bless!

 

[Mintaka]

I’d say the proper procedure is to find out where you are first, and then institute other measures. Married people should presume they’re validly married until shown otherwise. You got married in good faith, after all.

And yeah, convalidation is pretty painless and romantic.