Not sure if this is mortal or not

[PerfectTiming]

Another one of those threads - sorry!

Earlier tonight I was having a discussion/debate with my housemate. He is one of these people who once he gets an opinion he is like a dog with a bone, he does just not let up. He’s totally unwilling to see the bigger picture, which I was trying to explain because it was relevant (the discussion was about the British Monarchy). After a while it just got ridiculous and he basically started attacking me - I was exasperated at this point because he just would not listen and I was being understanding and agreeing with some of his points but he just kept attacking me. I have had problems with my temper in the past and I was getting upset so I (sensibly I think) decided to get up and go to bed, it is almost midnight anyway. He took this as me giving up and started gloating, which just infuriated me. Before I could even realised what I’d said, I’d just shouted at him to essentially shut up and leave me alone (paraphrased). I went to my room but realised I had forgotten some stuff so I had to go back to put my leftover food in the cupboard. He tried to start it up again and I just found myself yelling at him to shut up again.

I’m really worried this is a mortal sin. I really did try to control my anger and I didn’t mean to say those things, it was like my mouth just started moving without my direction. I’m a little confused because I feel like it is grave matter but I also don’t think I had deliberate consent. I’m going to Daily Mass as usual tomorrow so kind of want to clarify before I go. At the moment I’m leaning towards not mortal but I don’t want to get it wrong and then take Communion.

Sorry this is so long!

EDIT: I feel I should add I just went to speak to him and apologised for yelling at him and he apologised for pushing me too far, so amends and such have been made. I’m not sure if this is relevant at all but it seems important to add it in.

 

[Trishie]

To commit a mortal sin it is necessarily to knowingly and willingly consent to something that is a mortal sin and that you believe to be. This was an unpremeditated reaction. You did try to avoid further argument. This is where you showed intent, not when you reacted. You didn’t injure him, and he’s clearly not sensitive enough to be seriously hurt by your little explosion.Confess it when next you go to Confession but it wasn’t a mortal sin. response. Yes you, any of us, need to grow in virtue and patience…

Not someone good for you to get into deep discussion with.
He thrives on argument, you don’t

 

[ATeutonicKnight]

As one that suffers with scrupulosity, I have had to form my conscience to learn what is and isn’t a Mortal sin (Despite what my scruples believed, it turns out swallowing is not Mortal. ), and so, now that I have a better-formed conscience to sin, I would say this was not Mortal. If this were about a month ago, I would say it was. But then again, a month ago I was sure lounging back was a sin.

Don’t worry about it. As Father Vincent Serpa told me, “It cannot be a Mortal Sin because you are not sure. Mortal Sin requires absolute certainty.” Confess it if you like, and ask the Priest for advice when you’re angry, but other than that, I definitely would not refrain from receiving the Eucharist.

 

[PJM]

=PerfectTiming;8548486]Another one of those threads - sorry!

Earlier tonight I was having a discussion/debate with my housemate. He is one of these people who once he gets an opinion he is like a dog with a bone, he does just not let up. He’s totally unwilling to see the bigger picture, which I was trying to explain because it was relevant (the discussion was about the British Monarchy). After a while it just got ridiculous and he basically started attacking me - I was exasperated at this point because he just would not listen and I was being understanding and agreeing with some of his points but he just kept attacking me. I have had problems with my temper in the past and I was getting upset so I (sensibly I think) decided to get up and go to bed, it is almost midnight anyway. He took this as me giving up and started gloating, which just infuriated me. Before I could even realised what I’d said, I’d just shouted at him to essentially shut up and leave me alone (paraphrased). I went to my room but realised I had forgotten some stuff so I had to go back to put my leftover food in the cupboard. He tried to start it up again and I just found myself yelling at him to shut up again.

I’m really worried this is a mortal sin. I really did try to control my anger and I didn’t mean to say those things, it was like my mouth just started moving without my direction. I’m a little confused because I feel like it is grave matter but I also don’t think I had deliberate consent. I’m going to Daily Mass as usual tomorrow so kind of want to clarify before I go. At the moment I’m leaning towards not mortal but I don’t want to get it wrong and then take Communion.

Sorry this is so long!

EDIT: I feel I should add I just went to speak to him and apologised for yelling at him and he apologised for pushing me too far, so amends and such have been made. I’m not sure if this is relevant at all but it seems important to add it in.

OK, your human

Now say your sorry! And pray for the grace for both of you to play nice:thumbsup:

Was it a sin? Sure. Serious NOT!

BUT try not to look for trouble and your less likely to find it

God Bless you BOTH!

PJM

 

[The_Blunt_Brig]

The Catechism of the Catholic Church, which Pope John Paul II called “a sure norm for teaching the faith” says that anger is only a grave sin when it is at the level that the person desires to seriously harm or kill the person.

Catechism of the Catholic Church Number 2302:

By recalling the commandment, “You shall not kill,”(Mt 5:21) our Lord asked for peace of heart and denounced murderous anger and hatred as immoral.
Anger is a desire for revenge. “To desire vengeance in order to do evil to someone who should be punished is illicit,” but it is praiseworthy to impose restitution "to correct vices and maintain justice."95 If anger reaches the point of a deliberate desire to kill or seriously wound a neighbor, it is gravely against charity; it is a mortal sin. The Lord says, “Everyone who is angry with his brother shall be liable to judgment.”(Mt 5:22)

 

[DexUK]

I imagine you probably used an expletive in your flash of anger and that this is part of your worry about whether you sinned.

Don’t stress too much about it though. It sounds like your housemate has been trying - and somewhat succeeding - to press your buttons.

Perhaps if you’d flown off the handle and verbally assaulted him with a stream of invective for some considerable time, then you might be guilty of something worth confessing, but in this case, provided what you recount is the full truth, then it seems you were simply provoked while you were trying to end the conversation.

At most, it was a venial sin, but in your position I would probably have done the same thing and stewed about the unjust nature of the whole situation for a while. Any venial sin will be wiped away by the Confiteor tomorrow and you certainly don’t seem to have done enough to warrant immediate confession or withholding communion and, in any case, amends have been made between the both of you, so that really should be the end of it.

We all get irritated with other people from time to time. It can’t be helped and it’s certainly not grave matter.