Not sure if this struggle is normal

[skigirl1689]

I am Lutheran so this might be odd but I’m really struggling. I’ve always had a difficult time being comfortable with pastors. It stems from having a pastor throughout my childhood until I was 18 who was unapproachable, extremely critical, and very difficult to approach. I thought all pastors were like this and nearly left the church because of it, and I almost didn’t attend church when I went to college as I was so scared of pastors.

We were blessed with a new pastor who’ve I’ve been able to really connect with, talk to, and for the first time I’ve had spiritual support in my life.

Now our pastor is likely leaving for a new church, and I am worried about forming a new pastoral relationship. At the same time I feel guilty that I have so many sad feelings at the possibility of him leaving, like I shouldn’t be affected by it, if that makes any sense. I know it comes with being human but I am still struggling with it.

I know Catholics routinely change pastors, so I guess my question is how do you handle such changes?

God Bless!

 

[smichhertz]

Usually I get to know a new priest / pastor by introducing myself to them after mass and then go from there.

It’s pretty much the same as how I get to any person, I guess. Start with an introduction.

Don’t worry about it, I’m sure everything will be fine. It sounds like your pastor you had growing up was more of an anomaly.

 

[InLight247]

It is normal to feel sad when a beloved priest leaves the parish. Many people share the same emotion. Our parish has had many different priests during the past years. Each time a priest left, I heard people lament and saw people cry, young, middle aged, and older people were all alike. That is normal human affection.

How to deal with it? Accept. There is no other way. Continue to pray for him. At the same time, start to build a new relationship with the new shepherd. Keep in mind there is no endless banquet and the goodness of the priest must be spread to else where for others to be blessed.

 

[Avila123]

When we have a change of Priest, the outgoing Priest says nothing about the new Priest and tells him nothing about the congregation. We then have the opportunity to meet the new Priest at a social gathering, usually on a week day before he says his first Mass (our Priests cover two churches). I usually make the effort to say hello (we are not the friendliest of congregations). Us helpers, are keen to know more about the Priest as we want to support him, rather than resist the inevitable small changes.

The above happens after being sad at losing a person who is Priest, Spiritual Director, confidant and friend. Adjusting to a new Priest isn’t always easy and I try to remember that I am adjusting and getting to know one person, whilst he is doing the same with at least a hundred.

 

[lerapt78]

Maybe your new pastor is a just as worried about being accepted by the parish as the parishioners are of him? After all, it’s got to be a bit stressful to realize you have big shoes to fill.

Just be as warm and welcoming to him as you’d be to any new kid on the block.

 

[skigirl1689]

Usually I get to know a new priest / pastor by introducing myself to them after mass and then go from there.

It’s pretty much the same as how I get to any person, I guess. Start with an introduction.

Don’t worry about it, I’m sure everything will be fine. It sounds like your pastor you had growing up was more of an anomaly.

I pray you are correct about my childhood pastor, my dad who does not attend with us even saw the issues we were having with him. I remember being hospitalized out of town once as a teenager and he (the pastor) insisted another pastor visit. I was dreading that visit but it turned out ok. That’s when I started to realize our pastor was not the norm.

It is normal to feel sad when a beloved priest leaves the parish. Many people share the same emotion. Our parish has had many different priests during the past years. Each time a priest left, I heard people lament and saw people cry, young, middle aged, and older people were all alike. That is normal human affection.

How to deal with it? Accept. There is no other way. Continue to pray for him. At the same time, start to build a new relationship with the new shepherd. Keep in mind there is no endless banquet and the goodness of the priest must be spread to else where for others to be blessed.

Thank you for validating what I am feeling. I think I have slowly accepted it over the past few days and hopefully it won’t take long for us to find a new pastor.

When we have a change of Priest, the outgoing Priest says nothing about the new Priest and tells him nothing about the congregation. We then have the opportunity to meet the new Priest at a social gathering, usually on a week day before he says his first Mass (our Priests cover two churches). I usually make the effort to say hello (we are not the friendliest of congregations). Us helpers, are keen to know more about the Priest as we want to support him, rather than resist the inevitable small changes.

The above happens after being sad at losing a person who is Priest, Spiritual Director, confidant and friend. Adjusting to a new Priest isn’t always easy and I try to remember that I am adjusting and getting to know one person, whilst he is doing the same with at least a hundred.

Very true! Being Lutheran a new pastor also means a new family comes into the congregation as well. Lots of changes for everyone! I do help with some communications things so hopefully I can continue with that as well.

Maybe your new pastor is a just as worried about being accepted by the parish as the parishioners are of him? After all, it’s got to be a bit stressful to realize you have big shoes to fill.

Just be as warm and welcoming to him as you’d be to any new kid on the block.

Definitely good advice!