I
invisiblewitnes
Guest
Hi,
In the midst of a bad experience associated with some resurfacing memories of a severe car accident from several years ago, I basically broke off a really good friendship. Now, I am not sure if I should even bother contacting her to try to reconcile. I was talking and acting incoherently, because I was almost paranoid, and I basically just said I am breaking off all contact, because I felt like I was going crazy. It wasn’t until a couple days after that I remembered the car accident, which I had some bad amnesia from a concussion. But the memory was the most terrifying incident of my life, and I guess I just hadn’t thought about it for a while, and it was just resurfacing, and I was freaking out and did not know why. I just had this sense like something terrible was going to happen to someone. And I basically cut off everyone, and then after I broke off the friendship, two days later (on her birthday, actually, which is on the feast day of the saint whose parish I was confirmed in) the memory of the accident surfaced. But whenver I try to describe the car accident I shiver and get emotional because literally I was in total blackness alone for what I thought was never going to end. I literally was asking myself whether I was dead or in hell. I experienced being alone in darkness with no sensation, just my thoughts, that I literally thought I was dead and was in Hell and was going to be in this blackness all alone for all eternity. I never talked about this because when I woke up in the hospital where they were doing X-Rays I basically had total amnesia temporarily, and could only remember my name. And whenever I have approached remembering this experience of thinking I am alone for eternity in Hell (seems to happen when I become close friends with someone) I seem to panic all over again, and I don’t realize it is from the car accident, until I’ve ruined the friendship.
But I want to ask for prayers, because I have just been a wreck over destroying probably the best friendship I have ever had with one of the most wonderful people I’ve ever met. I have embarassed and humiliated myself to her and her family and her pastor, and I almost don’t want to talk to or see anyone. I basically have MRIs set up and an appointment with a neurologist, and others, but I don’t know what they will do. Pray that helps somehow. I basically had to take a leave of absence from school. I don’t even know if I am going back because I am too humiliated to see anyone, including my friend there. Please pray asking God to let us know if he wants us to reconcile at all. I basically cut off contact with almost everyone, but with this particular friend is the most devastating.
Please pray for healing and to know God’s will, both myself, and my family, and her and her family.
God bless you and thank you all.
In the midst of a bad experience associated with some resurfacing memories of a severe car accident from several years ago, I basically broke off a really good friendship. Now, I am not sure if I should even bother contacting her to try to reconcile. I was talking and acting incoherently, because I was almost paranoid, and I basically just said I am breaking off all contact, because I felt like I was going crazy. It wasn’t until a couple days after that I remembered the car accident, which I had some bad amnesia from a concussion. But the memory was the most terrifying incident of my life, and I guess I just hadn’t thought about it for a while, and it was just resurfacing, and I was freaking out and did not know why. I just had this sense like something terrible was going to happen to someone. And I basically cut off everyone, and then after I broke off the friendship, two days later (on her birthday, actually, which is on the feast day of the saint whose parish I was confirmed in) the memory of the accident surfaced. But whenver I try to describe the car accident I shiver and get emotional because literally I was in total blackness alone for what I thought was never going to end. I literally was asking myself whether I was dead or in hell. I experienced being alone in darkness with no sensation, just my thoughts, that I literally thought I was dead and was in Hell and was going to be in this blackness all alone for all eternity. I never talked about this because when I woke up in the hospital where they were doing X-Rays I basically had total amnesia temporarily, and could only remember my name. And whenever I have approached remembering this experience of thinking I am alone for eternity in Hell (seems to happen when I become close friends with someone) I seem to panic all over again, and I don’t realize it is from the car accident, until I’ve ruined the friendship.
But I want to ask for prayers, because I have just been a wreck over destroying probably the best friendship I have ever had with one of the most wonderful people I’ve ever met. I have embarassed and humiliated myself to her and her family and her pastor, and I almost don’t want to talk to or see anyone. I basically have MRIs set up and an appointment with a neurologist, and others, but I don’t know what they will do. Pray that helps somehow. I basically had to take a leave of absence from school. I don’t even know if I am going back because I am too humiliated to see anyone, including my friend there. Please pray asking God to let us know if he wants us to reconcile at all. I basically cut off contact with almost everyone, but with this particular friend is the most devastating.
Please pray for healing and to know God’s will, both myself, and my family, and her and her family.
God bless you and thank you all.