Not technically lying - but still a sin?

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MrsMeganMc

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I just went on a Rachel’s Vineyard retreat this past weekend - I am having a really really hard time adjusting and coping with my emotions this week.

I had to talk to my supervisor to let him know that I was dealing with some stuff and that my work was not coming along as I would like it to.

I told him at the time that I didn’t want to talk about what was going on.

This morning - I felt compelled to give him a reason and to tell him something about what was going on. I felt like it would give him a better understanding of what I am dealing with.

I simply stated that I was pregnant, and I am no longer.

Technically - I did not say anything that was untrue - but I knew that I was leading him to believe that I had a miscarriage.

I’m having a hard time judging the morality of what I did. Like I said - I did not say anything that was untrue. But I also knew that what I said would lead him to think something that is not the truth.
 
Well, if he didn’t ask for a reason, then saying nothing would have been better than misleading.

If you intended to mislead him then yes it’s a sin, however I wouldn’t consider this a severe evil act, so I think it’s venial in nature.

I only say this because we are called to be like Christ whom would never say anything with the intent of misleading.

It’s the weekend though, you have mass coming up and the opportunity go get to confession. You should be in good shape come Monday. 👍
 
He did want to know what was going on - but obviously respected my privacy when I told him that I didn’t want to say anything at first.

I wanted to tell him something - because I wanted him to understand the gravity of what I was dealing with - so that he better understood the fact of why I was having a hard time.

But you are right - saying anything to mislead is wrong - whether or not I spoke the truth. 😦

And yes - thankfully mass is on Sunday…

Thank you for your thoughts 🙂
 
What “rule” or command speaks to this alleged wrong that can be committed by telling the truth if the result is that the recipient is misled?
 
06convert said:
In the CCC Chapter 3, Section 2 Chapter 2 Article 8: scborromeo.org/ccc/p3s2c2a8.htm
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All I see in there deals with speaking things that are not true - I did not say anything which was not true. I spoke in generalities - so that I would not say anything which was false.

Could you quote the passage that you found? Maybe I just don’t see it.

Thank you.
 
MrsMeganMc said:
I just went on a Rachel’s Vineyard retreat this past weekend - I am having a really really hard time adjusting and coping with my emotions this week.

I had to talk to my supervisor to let him know that I was dealing with some stuff and that my work was not coming along as I would like it to.

I told him at the time that I didn’t want to talk about what was going on.

This morning - I felt compelled to give him a reason and to tell him something about what was going on. I felt like it would give him a better understanding of what I am dealing with.

I simply stated that I was pregnant, and I am no longer.

Technically - I did not say anything that was untrue - but I knew that I was leading him to believe that I had a miscarriage.

I’m having a hard time judging the morality of what I did. Like I said - I did not say anything that was untrue. But I also knew that what I said would lead him to think something that is not the truth.
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Your supervisor does not have any business knowing any more (and I would say, not more than “some heavy personal problems that I’m receiving counsel about from my church” - 'nough said!) so what you said was in no way a lie.
Ease up on yourself! Don’t try to “pick up another rock”/burden! What you may be most guilty of right now is not acknowledging that He is God and has forgiven you. It is presumptuous for you not to forgive yourself. Trust in His Mercy.
 
brigid12 said:
Your supervisor does not have any business knowing any more (and I would say, not more than “some heavy personal problems that I’m receiving counsel about from my church” - 'nough said!) so what you said was in no way a lie.
Ease up on yourself! Don’t try to “pick up another rock”/burden! What you may be most guilty of right now is not acknowledging that He is God and has forgiven you. It is presumptuous for you not to forgive yourself. Trust in His Mercy.
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I don’t really appreciate you implying that I have not acknowledged God’s forgiveness of my past.

I was simply curious on the morality of “half-truths” in this situation. I don’t really see how anything I said would imply that I have not accepted God’s forgiveness or that I have not forgiven myself.
 
Saying “I have some personal business to attend to” is usually enough for the boss.

It lets him or her know in a polite way that you really don’t want to discuss it. Unless you have an attendance problem he or she is not going to pry.

Its really just the same thing you would tell him or her if you had a job interview.
 
😃 Yes, I believe it is indeed a sin, but I am sure it is only a venial sin. We all sin at one point or another (and probably in the very manner you did). As you know, I am sure, you can go to confession this weekend considering that it is not too far away. Good luck with your situation and God bless.
 
I dont’ think it’s a sin, you told the truth although not the WHOLE truth, and there is no obligation (the CCC says this) to tell the WHOLE truth if someone doesn’t have a right to it, which your boss doesn’t. 🤷
 
MrsMeganMc said:
I don’t really appreciate you implying that I have not acknowledged God’s forgiveness of my past.

I was simply curious on the morality of “half-truths” in this situation. I don’t really see how anything I said would imply that I have not accepted God’s forgiveness or that I have not forgiven myself.
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If you have acknowledged His forgiveness, then no problem. I have seen it a number of times that after a retreat such as you went on that the women continue to be terribly hard on themselves, that’s all. And as I said, there was no half-truth in the situation you talked about as the supervisor has no business knowing any particulars about an employee’s personal life.
 
LilyM said:
I dont’ think it’s a sin, you told the truth although not the WHOLE truth, and there is no obligation (the CCC says this) to tell the WHOLE truth if someone doesn’t have a right to it, which your boss doesn’t. 🤷
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👍
 
What was your intention?

If you intended merely to keep private things to yourself, then you told the truth and there’s no problem.

If you intended to mislead him into thinking you had a miscarriage, then take it to Confession.

Was the retreat helpful to you?

God’s love surround you,

Ruthie
 
Ruthie said:
What was your intention?

If you intended merely to keep private things to yourself, then you told the truth and there’s no problem.

If you intended to mislead him into thinking you had a miscarriage, then take it to Confession.

Was the retreat helpful to you?

God’s love surround you,

Ruthie
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I think my conclusion is just to take it to confession 😃

The retreat was beyond helpful for me - thank you for asking 🙂
 
Another good response is, I have some health issues.
Could be anything from cancer to pregnancy to a sick relative, and none of a supervisor’s business.
 
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