Not Your Usual Breast Surgery Question

[Rkdajr]

Hi guys,

I can’t seem to find an answer to this question I’m having so I decided to try here. First I’ll explain some things about me which will then explain the reasoning for my question (scroll down if you want to skip this.)

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I have never been comfortable with having breasts ever since I was a kid. This isn’t a “my body doesn’t feel right because I don’t like how my face looks” issue (or chest, weight, etc.) I don’t want a flat chest because of vanity, self-confidence or to attract men. My body doesn’t feel right because it doesn’t feel like my breasts belong there, period.

As you may know, the majority of FTM Transgender and female-bodied genderqueers have a similar issue, but I identify as female, not transgender. I do however use a binder to bind my chest in attempt to feel comfortable and to have the appearance of a male chest. It has been such a relief: I stand up straight, I no longer have trouble finding shirts that fit, and I feel like the real me. In the process I’ve learned that I actually don’t hate my chest but that God made me in His image and likeness which is beautiful.

However, people have been telling me that maybe I should learn to eventually be comfortable with my chest. That’s never going to happen - it’s not like learning to be comfortable with your nose, hair, or height…it honestly feels like two tumors are sticking out of me to the point that I won’t be comfortable going out in public without some sort of compression. Binding too, has it’s downside, as it can cause back pain, deform the ribs, and decrease lung capacity.

This whole thing has also caused me other problems: 1. Because I’ve been slouching for all these years, I can’t relax my shoulders anymore due to pain in my sternum; 2. Because of ‘bouncing’ I’ve had to avoid doing certain exercise and sports even with a sports bra; and 3. I realized that it had worsened my social anxiety all these years and I now have to take more medication :ehh:. I don’t have the money for breast reduction surgery and even if I did have surgery, I would have a mastectomy (or chest reconstruction.) I’m not overweight, but even with weight loss, my chest is still sort of big so that isn’t really an answer (nor is ‘your husband (or baby) will love them!’ okay? Haha.)

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Which leads me to my question - Would it be morally acceptable for a female to have a mastectomy/chest reconstruction for the reasons stated above? In short: Removing the breasts in order to eliminate the risks involved with long-term binding, to ease back or sternum pain and restore the ability to fully exercise without a binder, and to reduce psychological stress. Here is a brief list of short counter-arguments that lead me to think it’s alright:

1. They are not necessary for reproduction.
2. It is acceptable for a woman not to breastfeed.
3. The intention is not a morally wrong one .
4. There is no desire to “change one’s sex” nor to pass as the other sex.
5. They’re otherwise healthy body parts, but don’t have to exist for a woman to function normally.
6. Breast augmentation for women who’ve had a mastectomy due to cancer is not sinful, nor is breast reduction, so this does not seem sinful either.
7. Whether it is psychological or not (such as body dysmorphic disorder), therapy will never make the female comfortable without compression, and the alternative is less dangerous as opposed to the risks due to binding long-term.

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Anyone have any thoughts? Thanks!

:angel1: Blessings :]

• Rj

 

[Jack_Bauer]

• Rj
  In spite of all the “logic” involved in your post, you must try to understand that this is a mental disorder that should be addressed with a professional. There is not difference between wanting to cut off an arm or leg at various places in order to “feel complete.” What ever the cause is for feeling this way, you are burdened with resisting the temptation to mutilate your body that God gave you. Please seek help from someone that specializes in this sort of thing. I doubt there is anyone on her that can help. More power to you if you receive good help, but make sure it’s in alignment with God’s word.

You are in my prayers.

PAX

 

[karow]

Which leads me to my question - Would it be morally acceptable for a female to have a mastectomy/chest reconstruction for the reasons stated above?

You need to print out your post and give it to your priest or spiritual advisor as well as your therapist and physician. It’s a justification for self-mutilation, and it’s far beyond the scope of these threads to help you work through reasons for you to cut off healthy, functioning parts of your body.

Besides, frankly, even if it were morally acceptable you’re going to be hard pressed finding a surgeon or a hopital willing to perform such a surgery. Even legitimate preventative mastectomies must meet rigorous criteria (you previously had breast cancer or you carry a gene for the disease, for example) before you’d be a surgical candidate. And, reconstructive surgery is performed right after a mastectomy these days anyway, so most women go into the recovery room with reconstructed breasts.

Besides, good luck finding an insurance company willing to pay for an “elective” mastectomy.

 

[Jerusha]

I don’t know what bra size you wear, but it seems that you might be somewhat large. Even when I was breast-feeding, I wore a reasonably small cup size. And a woman who has breast-fed is less likely to get cancer, and the glory of being a woman, and able to naturally feed your baby is beyond measure.

Just a reduction might suit your needs.

 

[Rkdajr]

Besides, frankly, even if it were morally acceptable you’re going to be hard pressed finding a surgeon or a hopital willing to perform such a surgery.

Besides, good luck finding an insurance company willing to pay for an “elective” mastectomy.

You’re right! I forgot about that. I am pretty much leaning on the side of no surgery but I still wanted this to be answered in case it ever came to that. And yes that last one would sure turn a few heads…:whacky:

I don’t know what bra size you wear, but it seems that you might be somewhat large. Even when I was breast-feeding, I wore a reasonably small cup size. And a woman who has breast-fed is less likely to get cancer, and the glory of being a woman, and able to naturally feed your baby is beyond measure.

Just a reduction might suit your needs.

Hm, I’m not really sure what my bra size is…38b I think. I stopped using bras since getting my binder, but I still never knew anyway, hah. Oh and just to clear things up, my issue remained even with a small chest, so whatever size I am I’d still bind BUT yeah I’m seeing now a reduction (to the smallest) would be the best bet. I’ll try to find (non-dangerous) exercises that would make that area shrink first though. That’s cool, about the less likely to get cancer and things.

• Rj
  In spite of all the “logic” involved in your post, you must try to understand that this is a mental disorder that should be addressed with a professional. There is not difference between wanting to cut off an arm or leg at various places in order to “feel complete.” What ever the cause is for feeling this way, you are burdened with resisting the temptation to mutilate your body that God gave you. Please seek help from someone that specializes in this sort of thing. I doubt there is anyone on her that can help. More power to you if you receive good help, but make sure it’s in alignment with God’s word.

You are in my prayers.

PAX

Hello, my (Catholic) psychologist knows about my situation partly, and the priest that I go to for spiritual guidance doesn’t know at all, so I will see what they have to say on the matter as suggested. I suppose if it is true then it’s a burden I must bear in order that I don’t desecrate the body God gave me. It’s kind of a shame to think that a woman who wants bigger breasts is considered normal but one who wants nothing to do with it has a mental disorder : (I do agree with you in that it is somewhat mentally disordered related, but still, oh well.) Thank you for the prayers, JB, and for everyone’s kind (name removed by moderator)ut!

Peace :angel1:

• Rj

 

[Jack_Bauer]

Hello, my (Catholic) psychologist knows about my situation partly, and the priest that I go to for spiritual guidance doesn’t know at all, so I will see what they have to say on the matter as suggested. I suppose if it is true then it’s a burden I must bear in order that I don’t desecrate the body God gave me. It’s kind of a shame to think that a woman who wants bigger breasts is considered normal but one who wants nothing to do with it has a mental disorder : (I do agree with you in that it is somewhat mentally disordered related, but still, oh well.) Thank you for the prayers, JB, and for everyone’s kind (name removed by moderator)ut!

Peace :angel1:

• Rj

Well, in my opinion, it is equally disordered for a woman to want big breasts as well. The problem is that we live in a twisted world full of twisted sexual sin and there are far too many immature men that say they like big breasted women, even if unnatural. The unnatural part is what is disturbing. However, if a woman has had to deal with too large breasts or significantly different sized breasts, that’s something they must pray about, discern with an ethical doctor and hopefully a spiritual director. But you are wanting something very significant and unnecessary.

There are many men that suffer from wanting to “enhance” themselves. It’s become so widely prominent in our society that now we see commercials about it, which will probably initiate an entire generation of men feeling inadequate.

 

[Julee]

Your bigger issues aside for a moment (no pun intended), I’m just wondering if you’ve ever been fitted for a really good sports bra in an athletic/running store. If the fit is right, there shouldn’t be much bounce…certainly nothing that would exclude you from any type of excercise. I understand your perception of it might be different, but maybe wearing that type of bra would give you enough of a bind to feel comfortable with yourself, but without hurting your back, crushing your ribs or interfering with your breathing. Wearing a binder that gives you mental comfort, but also creates other problems doesn’t sound like a long term solution. Take care and keep on praying you grow to love the body God gave you in all respects.

 

[Rkdajr]

Your bigger issues aside for a moment (no pun intended), I’m just wondering if you’ve ever been fitted for a really good sports bra in an athletic/running store.

Actually I have two that are a good and tight fit, but they still didn’t work and it was painful during exercise. Maybe in the future I can look for a better one while trying to shrink them at home because ultimately, binding is very dangerous during any activity. However, that would be for exercise, as I will still continue binding for the rest of my life because it still wouldn’t fix the problem. Thank you though, and I will pray that I somehow learn to love my body even with flaws.

Well, in my opinion, it is equally disordered for a woman to want big breasts as well.

Really? Interesting, I usually don’t hear people say that. Not to put those women down it’s just that, like you said, we live in the kind of a world where bigger is better and the worst part is that I hear it from women just as much as men…“how to make your bosom look bigger!” “natural ways to enhance breast size!” bla bla bla, yuck. And it sucks for men too because even if the message of ‘male enhancement’ comes across more subtle, it still finds a way get across to them

I’m trying to let this become too big a part of me and focus more on my spiritual problems though, which is what I hope other men and women do too.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

Rj,

I’m so sorry you are suffering like this because of your breasts. I completely understand. When I was 15 my breasts became huge, practically developed overnight. I think I was a size F or G. Horrendous. I suffered so much, to the point that I would walk with my arms across them, hunched. I wore layers of clothes to hide them. I avoided leaving the house if I could. It was seriously affecting me in all sorts of ways. And of course, sports was agony. I hated them so much. After 3 years of this my parents became seriously concerned and suggested I have a reduction. I took a year to think about it and then I had it done. I know people might disagree with my decision, but this saved me from emotional pain and a number of other issues.

It sounds that in your case a reduction could help with the emotional as well as the physical aspect of it. I suggest you discuss this with both your priest and a doctor.