Notes in Confession

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FickleFreckled

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This is really just a matter of curiosity and annoyance, but I’d love to know the rationale behind it if anyone knows:
Why do some priests (not all) have a problem with people taking notes into confession? It doesn’t necessarily indicate scrupulosity. You get to a certain age and you can’t remember why you just opened the refrigerator, much less what you did 3 weeks ago. I had a priest just recently tell me not to use notes written beforehand, and it’s not the first time. It seems to me notes can be an effective part of examination of conscience. To solve it, I stay on the other side of the screen and am careful not to rattle the paper, but it seems ridiculous to have to go to that length to make a good confession.
 
I agree with all you’ve posted! Before I started writing notes before Confession I would walk into the confessional and totally blank out of what I’d been thinking about a minute before, outside the confessional.
I need the notes, but I imagine younger priests may be afraid that what you’ve written talks about someone else’s conscience (even if well-formed). I could also guess - and that’s all it is - that some priests might be afraid that a paper shows scrupulosity.?
At any rate, I’ve never known a priest that is older to have a problem with it. Maybe some younger priests aren’t as aware of what “goes” as a person ages.
 
Well, it’s crossed age lines; I’ve had younger and older priests say it and the most recent one was probably in his mid-40’s. I blank out, too. It’s weird.
Sometimes I’ve even forgotten the most serious sin I went there to confess in the first place!
 
Wow. I’ve never had a priest chastise me for bringing in a “crib sheet” to the confessional! I try to do a serious reflection of my sins before going to confession (I usually go monthly) and after all these years, I still get a little nervous and want to be sure not to forget what I have prayerfully focused on during my “examination of conscience.”
 
Well, even tho’ I started blanking out around then, it may have been due to female hormones. How about a priest who’s above 55 or 60?
Actually, although I haven’t haven’t had a priest actually berate me in the confessional, I have heard some speak (generally) of it negatively outside of it. What I do so I don’t rustle papers is:
  1. carry my list on top of a little devotional book (or prayer book),
  2. have laminated what I want to say, other than the actual sins,
  3. put my sins to be confessed on a post-it note on the laminated
    Act of Contrition, et al.
Nothing rustles and I have all I need. The only problem I’ve come up against is when the light is out in the confessional. Then ???:eek:
 
Well, even tho’ I started blanking out around then, it may have been due to female hormones. How about a priest who’s above 55 or 60?
Actually, although I haven’t haven’t had a priest actually berate me in the confessional, I have heard some speak (generally) of it negatively outside of it. What I do so I don’t rustle papers is:
  1. carry my list on top of a little devotional book (or prayer book),
  2. have laminated what I want to say, other than the actual sins,
  3. put my sins to be confessed on a post-it note on the laminated
    Act of Contrition, et al.
Nothing rustles and I have all I need. The only problem I’ve come up against is when the light is out in the confessional. Then ???:eek:
 
I just want to know why they’re doing it. I’m getting to that outspoken point where, if I don’t understand, I’m going to argue with them, and that’s probably not a good thing to be doing in confession!
 
I"ll be interested to read future posts on this question also.:confused:
 
Reasons not to have notes: Too much emphasis on the sins themselves and not enough on your contrition and purpose of amendment. Possibility of a breach of confidentiality if you lose the paper.

I don’t think either of these reasons is enough to keep a person who needs notes from using them, however.

What I do when I do not use notes is this: I assign a keyword to each sin and memorize the list of keywords. Hopfully, there aren’t more than four or five. I might do them alphabetically to help remember, or in rhythm. I’ll use simple words like lie, cheat, steal, or perhaps the name of someone against whom I have sinned in some way. And I remember how many there are so I know I’ve covered them all. I have been in confession and remembered all but one and had to say, “I can’t remember the last thing!” That makes me feel quite foolish. That’s a good reason to put the serious stuff first.

Hope this helps.

Betsy
 
brigid12 said:
Nothing rustles and I have all I need. The only problem I’ve come up against is when the light is out in the confessional. Then ???:eek:
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Black paper and a glow in the dark gel pen? I am actually serious, even though it sounds incredibly silly… you would be able to read it, and most of the black paper I have seen is thick enough that it probably would not rustle either. 😊

I have not been to confession (yet??), but I suspect I would need notes, at least the first time…
 
I didn’t know so many people took in notes!

I have heard priests speak of being wary ‘of laundry lists’…but I agree that can be hard to remember all you wanted to confess and considered so carefully before Confession…

All I can say is, if you folk don’t remember, you can’t be doing anything much that’s wrong!
 
I’m reading Pardon and Peace by Fr. Francis Randolph and he encourages making a list. I thought his take was great, so I’ll share -
The Shopping List
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Code: 
  You often hear people, especially priest, ridiculing what they call the "shopping list" approach to confession and giving the impression that there is something wrong, childish, insincere or out of date about coming to the sacrament with a prepared catalog of sins to confess.  This is not a helpful or pastoral criticism: if we are going shopping, it makes sense to have a list of requisites clearly thought out and written down.  If we are going to the doctor, it makes sense to consider beforehand what symptoms we feel and want to mention to him.  Why on earth should we not consider carefully what we have done wrong in our lives and compile a mental list of things that bother us?  It may even be a written list, though if we lose a list like that and someone else picks it up, it may be more embarassing than if they find our list of groceries!
But let us use the medical metaphor rather than the commerical one. When we first see a doctor, we must tell him only the symptoms we can think of, the ones on our list. The doctor is not going to be impressed if we do our own diagnosis and tell him precisely how to treat us: he is the diagnostician, we are not. We tell him only the symptoms. If he wants to know more, he will ask. Then we listen to his advice and with any luck our condition will improve. Symptoms are only the indicators on the surface of something going wrong deeper down; but the way to diagnose and treat the problem is to look at the symptoms. Yet it is not the symptoms that we treat, or if we do, it is only incidental to the treatment at the root cause of the disease. Symptoms may persist, even after an effective course of treatment has begun, and it may take a very long time before we can be completely clear of the problem.

The sins that we will be aware of, the sins that we can list and tell, are usually only the surface symptoms of the spiritual diseases that are lurking underneath. As such they can be useful, for they warn us of the real problems. That is why listing trivial but obvious sins can be a tremendous help in the diagnosis and treatment of the sins of the spirit.
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Seems to me from what he said that it would be important to write them down if needed to be SURE that you don’t forget any. He also goes on to talk about habitual sins and how upset many people are about confessing the same ones every time. He says something interesting about appreciating this:
Code: 
  Most of us, if we had no habitual besetting sin, would become so elated about it that we would neglect the sacrament of penance altogether and and fail to observe all the innumberable opportunities we are missing for growth in the love of God and neighbor.  Worst of all, we would fall into the really dangerous sins of conceit and pride, sins that are very difficult for us to detect and that can drag us down all the way.  A nasty little habitual sin can be a real help in keeping us away from that peril.
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I thought the book would be about HOW to examine your conscience, but it’s more about what confession is for, what a blessing it is and how it can help you grow in your spiritual life. I highly recommend the book. (and you all owe me a high-five for typing all of that)
 
:rotfl: Oh, no…there’s just so many of the darn things I can’t remember them all!

Letter-code Keys? Glow in the dark pens?
Laminated lists? This is getting way more interesting than I could ever have imagined!
You’re all very creative! I went to confession this afternoon, list in hand, (Single spaced, double sided, font 4… kidding…) stayed on my side of the screen and no one was the wiser today.
 
FickleFreckled said:
I just want to know why they’re doing it. I’m getting to that outspoken point where, if I don’t understand, I’m going to argue with them, and that’s probably not a good thing to be doing in confession!
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Well, you probably know where to find him outside of confession. Ask him! If you don’t get a satisfactory answer, find another confessor. Really. It’s a very personal choice. And incidentally, I don’t have a problem with rather pointedly asking for clarification in confession. My confessor doesn’t blink at it.
baltobetsy said:
Reasons not to have notes: Too much emphasis on the sins themselves and not enough on your contrition and purpose of amendment. Possibility of a breach of confidentiality if you lose the paper.

I don’t think either of these reasons is enough to keep a person who needs notes from using them, however.

What I do when I do not use notes is this: I assign a keyword to each sin and memorize the list of keywords. Hopfully, there aren’t more than four or five. I might do them alphabetically to help remember, or in rhythm. I’ll use simple words like lie, cheat, steal, or perhaps the name of someone against whom I have sinned in some way. And I remember how many there are so I know I’ve covered them all. I have been in confession and remembered all but one and had to say, “I can’t remember the last thing!” That makes me feel quite foolish. That’s a good reason to put the serious stuff first.

Hope this helps.

Betsy
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Just a note: we’re not required to keep our sins confidential from anyone else. We can tell the entire world what our sins are. Since the priest can’t answer any objections anyone might have to what he says in the confessional, though, it is fair to say his words shouldn’t be recorded.

I’m not using paper yet, but I could see the day coming. I wouldn’t feel bashful about it. Still, I could see good reasons that it not become the norm. If everybody has a slip of paper, then the one who doesn’t (because he’s afraid someone else might get hold of it) might seem suspect. But other than that, and assuming the penitent isn’t trying to metaphorically stone themselves with a truckload of cotton balls, I can’t see why not.
 
I must have been posting at the same time as Princess 18; I missed that post and it’s wonderful. What a great book! I’ll have to look for it. thank you for including all the quotes!
 
Princess18, thank you for your profound post.

It put me in mind of this text.

“**Who can detect his own failings?
Wash out my hidden faults
And from pride preserve your servant,
never let it dominate me
So shall I be above reproach, free from grave sin.” **[Psalm 19:12-13]
 
Trishie said:
All I can say is, if you folk don’t remember, you can’t be doing anything much that’s wrong!
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Honey, wait 'til you’re older and then see if you want to say that. As I said, I’ve never experienced a priest past his 50’s having anything negative to say about having notes in Confession (in or out of it)

.
 
Just my two cents…and just ignore this if it doesn’t help.

When I’m having troubles remembering the penance for a sin, I guess I’d wonder if I were minimizing the importance of my salvation to me, or, if the priest had given me too complex and difficult a penance, or, if I was having memory problems and do I need a health evaluation for that, or, if it was the evil one working on me, trying to mess with me even right after being in the confessional.

I think too that if I tell the priest that I need to write down the penance at the actual start of my confession, and why, there shouldn’t be a problem with that. I guess if there was, I’d tell the priest what an awful time I have remembering my penance.

As to taking notes, I can see how that could be a problem with the seal of confession and all. A priest can get into a lot of trouble with that - what’s it called - disbarring or something?(sorry, sometimes I’m silly!) -actually, I think a priest can get excommunicated for breaking the seal of confession - it’s that serious. Perhaps the priest wants to uphold the sacred seal of confession and that’s why he doesn’t want people to take notes.

Sometimes I ask the priest if I can restate the penance he gave me to make sure I got it right. That helps me a lot with remembering.

I can tell when I’m being especially tested when I go to confession and I don’t bring my written grocery-sin list or bring a half-way done list because I didn’t examine my conscience properly.

What comforts me though is that God forgives all my sins in confession if I am truly contrite and that when I do my penance to the best of my ability that the sacrament is effective.

God is in the spirit of the law of things, not the letter, I believe.
 
So what I’m hearing everybody say is that there’s no real reason for priests to have a problem with “crib sheets” (I like that!), which was the original question I posed in this thread, that it’s probably a personal thing with the individual priest for whatever reason.

I’m sticking to my notes…they’ll have to pry them out of my grubby little folded paws! (No! No! You don’t understand! I NEEEEEEEEEED them!)
 
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