Now is THIS a lie?

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Hi you great people šŸ˜‰

Question: Today I was playing some of my songs in the street again (this is in Seitzerland) and since I write my songs in English, a man asked me if I was British or American. I said Iā€™m Swiss, but spent a lot of time in America (he could have told from my accent, but he may not have been that familiar with the different accents).
I kind of travel back and forth between here (Switzerland) and America (San Francisco, where I do a lot of volunteer stuff with the homeless etc). I didnā€™t want to have to explain the whole situation. Just said I had spent a lot of time there, as if it was something in the past.
Now, then I realized: I said ā€œI SPENT a lot of time thereā€, which REALLY means it was in the past. If it is still going on, I have to say ā€œI HAVE spent a lot of time thereā€.

Since I am planning to go back - was I lying? I didnā€™t really do it on purpose, but I also chose to leave things vague (not realizing they werenā€™t really vague the way I said them) He got on the streetcar and left and I might not see him again.

Would that be considered a lie?
And if yes, does it mean I should notgo back??? So that itā€™s not a lie??? That would be exaggertaed, right?

(I do suffer from scrupulosity. I know that.)

Kathrin
 
No, you did not lie. Even if you said you ā€œspent a lot of time hereā€ which is true, it cannot be inferred that you will never come here again in the future. For instance, if I said I enjoyed my lunch at McDonaldā€™s (which was in the past), it does not mean I will never go to McDonaldā€™s again in the future.
 
Hey, thanks for the quick reply!
Sometimes I really get myself worked up over these things.

Kathrin
 
I hold to the Augustinian view of lieing. That is if the person does not have a right to know then it is not really lieing if you do not tell them the truth.
 
If you lie unintentionally its not a sin, i think, as there is not ā€œfull knowledgeā€ and ā€œfree consent of the willā€.
 
i totally do not understand the question

why on earth would a total stranger or chance acquaintance be entitled to any private info about your background at all?

you owe the duty of telling the truth only to those who have a right and reason to know it, that does not include casual conversations with people who ask personal questions.
 
A lie is a deliberate attempt to deceive someone If it was not your intention to be deceptive, it cannot be considered a lie.
Kathrin said:
Hi you great people šŸ˜‰

Question: Today I was playing some of my songs in the street again (this is in Seitzerland) and since I write my songs in English, a man asked me if I was British or American. I said Iā€™m Swiss, but spent a lot of time in America (he could have told from my accent, but he may not have been that familiar with the different accents).
I kind of travel back and forth between here (Switzerland) and America (San Francisco, where I do a lot of volunteer stuff with the homeless etc). I didnā€™t want to have to explain the whole situation. Just said I had spent a lot of time there, as if it was something in the past.
Now, then I realized: I said ā€œI SPENT a lot of time thereā€, which REALLY means it was in the past. If it is still going on, I have to say ā€œI HAVE spent a lot of time thereā€.

Since I am planning to go back - was I lying? I didnā€™t really do it on purpose, but I also chose to leave things vague (not realizing they werenā€™t really vague the way I said them) He got on the streetcar and left and I might not see him again.

Would that be considered a lie?
And if yes, does it mean I should notgo back??? So that itā€™s not a lie??? That would be exaggertaed, right?

(I do suffer from scrupulosity. I know that.)

Kathrin
Click to expand...
 
A lie is a deliberate attempt to deceive someone If it was not your intention to be deceptive, it cannot be considered a lie.
Kathrin said:
Hi you great people šŸ˜‰

Question: Today I was playing some of my songs in the street again (this is in Seitzerland) and since I write my songs in English, a man asked me if I was British or American. I said Iā€™m Swiss, but spent a lot of time in America (he could have told from my accent, but he may not have been that familiar with the different accents).
I kind of travel back and forth between here (Switzerland) and America (San Francisco, where I do a lot of volunteer stuff with the homeless etc). I didnā€™t want to have to explain the whole situation. Just said I had spent a lot of time there, as if it was something in the past.
Now, then I realized: I said ā€œI SPENT a lot of time thereā€, which REALLY means it was in the past. If it is still going on, I have to say ā€œI HAVE spent a lot of time thereā€.

Since I am planning to go back - was I lying? I didnā€™t really do it on purpose, but I also chose to leave things vague (not realizing they werenā€™t really vague the way I said them) He got on the streetcar and left and I might not see him again.

Would that be considered a lie?
And if yes, does it mean I should notgo back??? So that itā€™s not a lie??? That would be exaggertaed, right?

(I do suffer from scrupulosity. I know that.)

Kathrin
Click to expand...
 
Hey, thanks all!šŸ™‚

After this ā€œepisodeā€ I told myself, hmmm, I really should be more careful what I say and not have this attitude of not wanting to say too much.
But on the other hand, those of you who said not every acquaintance in the street has a ā€œrightā€ to know my whole life story are right too.

I guess it depends on the situation.

Anyway, thanks to everyone for your (name removed by moderator)ut!!

Kathrin
 
This may be bad advice but in my opinion i feel as if i should not be overly carefull about my choice of words. I think itā€™s the intent that counts, if you intend to decive someone then you have sinned. If you are merely trying to explain something and use the wrong words or they interpret it wrong, as long as you did not will to decive them, you have not sinned.

But i donā€™t really understand your situaution so ignore me if you think i am wrong šŸ‘.
 
I donā€™t think I intended to deceive, but I think I did intend to leave things vague (that is, not making it clear that I am planning to leave again).
 
Kathrin said:
I donā€™t think I intended to deceive, but I think I did intend to leave things vague (that is, not making it clear that I am planning to leave again).
Click to expand...
It is quite acceptable to be vague. Strangers are not privy to such personal information.
 
Kathrin, donā€™t worry about this. The difference between ā€œI spent timeā€ and ā€œI have spent timeā€ is so small that no one but you would even have noticed. Besides, you had no intention of deceiving that person, and your personal information is none of his business anyway. Donā€™t be so hard on yourself. And by the way, judging by what you have written, your English is excellent ā€“ far better than that of many Americans! šŸ‘
 
There is no sin involved.

However, it is good to know that there still are people who take the English language and grammar seriously. šŸ‘
 
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