"Now it's EX-'gays' getting pummeled"

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I am sorry to hear about your NARTH and Exodus experiences. Most of the people I know that went that route have had bad experiences. I am glad I found Courage before finding those other methods. Like you said it MAY help some people, but it isn’t for everyone. Courage was just what I needed and turned me around from a downward spiral. Hopefully you can find something that works for you and keeps you inline with church teaching.
I have been told outright from Courage groups that they can offer little to no support, other than just listening, but my story and life are quite different compared to SSA catholics, and I have yet to find a confessor or a priest who knows the slightest thing about my conditions.

This is not to say they arne’t doing their jobs, it is merely my situation is so specific and so rare that there simply isn’t anyone that could possibly know much about it, let alone specialize in it. I am made quite unwelcome at every parish I’ve ever visited once my past leaks around the rumor mill, so I keep my faith in loneliness and solitude, which for better for worse is exactly the only answer I realy ever get from the church anyway.

Am I bitter? I suspect so, but ] only towards my treatment by strangers, everyone here has been thankfully much more mild mannered and understanding than those I deal with in reality, otherwise I am perfectly happy. The only thing I struggle with is faith, which is a pretty large aspect of life I will admit, but I am happy with my lot in life otherwise now, this was not always the case.
 
I went to my local cable stations in two towns and was able to get both Stephen Bennett and the Earle Foxe’s videos on TV as they were professionally done through a local chapter of Concerned Woman of America.

This is something to think about if you have a local cable station,** get pro-life videos on TV**. All you have to do is sign a request form as a local resident (even if you don’t purchase cable networks) and drop off the videos but make sure you have a copy as sometimes after they play them, they loose them.
 
I understand people who are queer wanting to stop being so, but would you ever want to marry a person who identified as "ex-gay’? Would you want your child to marry one?
 
I have been told outright from Courage groups that they can offer little to no support, other than just listening, but my story and life are quite different compared to SSA catholics, and I have yet to find a confessor or a priest who knows the slightest thing about my conditions.
It is possable that your local Courage groups don’t have the experience in what you are going through. The priest spiritual director for my local Courage group was excellent and always offered great advice. Father Harvey and the main Courage office may have better suggestions on who to contact.

Their contact information is:

**Courage
c/o Church of St John The Baptist
210 West 31st Street
New York NY 10001 **
**Email: NYCourage@aol.com
Phone: (212) 268-1010 **Fax: (212) 268-7150
 
I understand people who are queer wanting to stop being so, but would you ever want to marry a person who identified as "ex-gay’? Would you want your child to marry one?
Nope, because I don’t believe that there is such a thing and I would always be waiting for the other shoe to drop and for them to go back to their old life.
 
Some people in Courage go to psychologists, some don’t. It varies person to person. A couple people in my group have gone the NARTH and Exodus route and didn’t feel it was appropriate to them. Most people in my group that have counselors, the counselors are Christian counselors of various types. It is not always easy to find a good counselor that supports the Catholic take on SSA.

Many people do it without “official” support. Personally the only support I have had is Courage, the priests associated with Courage, and my own personal spiritual director which is not associated with Courage.
Thanks. 👍

We have a psychologist/counsellor at our local John Paul II Life Center, and she helps some of our parishioners with various issues. Even in marriage counselling, you have to be careful in your choice of counsellors to find one who support our Catholic beliefs.
 
I understand people who are queer wanting to stop being so, but would you ever want to marry a person who identified as "ex-gay’? Would you want your child to marry one?
It would always depend on the circumstances around who and what they were and what they can commit to. Just like the Catholic church realizes that homosexual tendancies can be transitory and allow people that had transitory tendancies to enter the priesthood. The same can be said about marriage.

Why don’t you ask the same question similar to? If a person that doesn’t have SSA cheats on his girlfriend, has a lust to cheat on his girlfriend or is an adulterer and gets caught would you ever want to marry them? Would you want your child to marry one?
 
I have been told outright from Courage groups that they can offer little to no support, other than just listening, but my story and life are quite different compared to SSA catholics, and I have yet to find a confessor or a priest who knows the slightest thing about my conditions.

This is not to say they arne’t doing their jobs, it is merely my situation is so specific and so rare that there simply isn’t anyone that could possibly know much about it, let alone specialize in it. I am made quite unwelcome at every parish I’ve ever visited once my past leaks around the rumor mill, so I keep my faith in loneliness and solitude, which for better for worse is exactly the only answer I realy ever get from the church anyway.

Am I bitter? I suspect so, but ] only towards my treatment by strangers, everyone here has been thankfully much more mild mannered and understanding than those I deal with in reality, otherwise I am perfectly happy. The only thing I struggle with is faith, which is a pretty large aspect of life I will admit, but I am happy with my lot in life otherwise now, this was not always the case.
I found Courage to be little more than a place to vent as well. I don’t really want to dwell on my attractions, or my past-which is what a lot of the folks I encountered there seemed to be doing. That’s great if it helps you, but it didn’t work for me.

I have been lucky in the Church though. I have had very good Confessors and supportive Priests. The only real problems I’ve ever had is from lay Catholics and Christians who feel that I’m either mentally ill or deformed or somehow “need fixing”.
 
I found Courage to be little more than a place to vent as well. I don’t really want to dwell on my attractions, or my past-which is what a lot of the folks I encountered there seemed to be doing. That’s great if it helps you, but it didn’t work for me.
That is an issue with your local group. It is a tendancy with many self-help groups to constantly dwell on your problems. It takes a good spiritual director to turn the conversation from that to what is spiritually fullfilling. The spiritual director for my group was a priest that isn’t burdened with SSA that always kept the meetings very meaningful. Usually only a small portion of the meeting or maybe one meeting in like 8 were similar to what you describe.
 
That is an issue with your local group. It is a tendancy with many self-help groups to constantly dwell on your problems. It takes a good spiritual director to turn the conversation from that to what is spiritually fullfilling. The spiritual director for my group was a priest that isn’t burdened with SSA that always kept the meetings very meaningful. Usually only a small portion of the meeting or maybe one meeting in like 8 were similar to what you describe.
I never found a group-I was just with the online folks. That turned me off, so I never really investigated local groups.
 
I never found a group-I was just with the online folks. That turned me off, so I never really investigated local groups.
Courage has always said that the face-to-face group is the primary part of Courage. The online community is only meant for people that can’t get support any other way and an additional tool for those that can. I highly suggest giving a local face-to-face group a chance or better yet attend the annual Courage conference. This year it is in MA.

I very rarely go to the main Courage online group.
 
Courage has always said that the face-to-face group is the primary part of Courage. The online community is only meant for people that can’t get support any other way and an additional tool for those that can. I highly suggest giving a local face-to-face group a chance or better yet attend the annual Courage conference. This year it is in MA.

I very rarely go to the main Courage online group.
I’m not sure there even is one in my area. I’ve lived here nearly all my life and never heard about one. I’ve told more than one Priest about my situation and none of them have ever suggested a local group-which you’d think they would if there was one available.
 
I’m not sure there even is one in my area. I’ve lived here nearly all my life and never heard about one. I’ve told more than one Priest about my situation and none of them have ever suggested a local group-which you’d think they would if there was one available.
Unless a priest is affiliated with Courage I doubt they would know where it meets. Many groups tend to be a little hush-hush about when and where they meet since some members tend to be in the modern term “in-the-closet”.

Here is the listing for New Jersey, also if you live close to another state you can get a listing for that state also:

couragerc.org/WWCStatesM-N.html
 
Courage has always said that the face-to-face group is the primary part of Courage. The online community is only meant for people that can’t get support any other way and an additional tool for those that can. I highly suggest giving a local face-to-face group a chance or better yet attend the annual Courage conference. This year it is in MA.

I very rarely go to the main Courage online group.
That would be the crux of the problem I think. I have never felt comfortable, and made many folks quite uncomfortable by attending services, so I don’t know if it is an option.
 
Unless a priest is affiliated with Courage I doubt they would know where it meets. Many groups tend to be a little hush-hush about when and where they meet since some members tend to be in the modern term “in-the-closet”.

Here is the listing for New Jersey, also if you live close to another state you can get a listing for that state also:

couragerc.org/WWCStatesM-N.html
Now I see why-there isn’t one in my Diocese. That might explain why I’ve not ever heard about them.
 
Now I see why-there isn’t one in my Diocese. That might explain why I’ve not ever heard about them.
If there is one close by you can always try getting there. When I was first having issues I drove an hour each way to meetings. It made for a very long day but I felt it was worth it.
 
That would be the crux of the problem I think. I have never felt comfortable, and made many folks quite uncomfortable by attending services, so I don’t know if it is an option.
I suggest in your case contacting the Courage main office. They tend to have more expertise in all areas related to SSA.
 
It would always depend on the circumstances around who and what they were and what they can commit to. Just like the Catholic church realizes that homosexual tendancies can be transitory and allow people that had transitory tendancies to enter the priesthood. The same can be said about marriage.

Why don’t you ask the same question similar to? If a person that doesn’t have SSA cheats on his girlfriend, has a lust to cheat on his girlfriend or is an adulterer and gets caught would you ever want to marry them? Would you want your child to marry one?
Great point!

I would expand on this to include addiction to pornography and even lustful thoughts, either same sex or different sex! Yet to the degree that we allow grace to work in our lives we can overcome our fallen passions and embrace true love, agape!

As for everyone claiming that homosexuality does not need to be cured…remmeber that all forms of sin and concupicence need to be “cured” not by therepy or by “boot camps” but by the grace of God working in our lives. This goes to disordered heterosexuality as well as disordered (all) homosexuality. We are all in need of divine assistance. I say this not to judge; though I myself do not experiance same sex attraction, for years I have struggled with an addiction to pornography. In many ways I still do, and with a lustfull heart. But by the grace of God I have made some progress in removing these desires, desires to use women and my own body as objects of selfish gratification.

I’m NOT saying the people experiencing ssa are “more broken” than I am or any other heterosexual who has lust in their heart, only that we are all partly dead inside due to sin. To clarify, I am not saying that persons with ssa did something bad and God punished that individual with homosexuality; only that all forms of sexual concupiscence are a result of mankind’s sinful, fallen state, same sex or otherwise.

I guess what I’m saying is that homosexuality and all other forms of disordered sexual attraction (again, a man who looks at a woman with lust is experiencing disordered sexual attraction) is a state contrary to how we were in the beginning, and it all should in an ideal world be corrected. God will correct this if we a) ask(prayer and fasting, etc) and if b)its in His soverign plan. It may be that SSA is a cross you must bear for your own sanctification, in which case battling this attraction can be your path to holiness.

These are my off the cuff knee jerk reactions, feel free to ignore/criticize whatever you will.

I highly recommend everyone gets “naked without shame, a crash course in the theology of the body” by Christopher West. Its a ten cd audio set, great stuff.

In closing, to address Fitswimmer, no, I don’t think you are mentally ill, but you, me and everyone else IN THE WORLD does need “fixing” in that we have yet to attain perfection.
 
I know of two married couples where the male had SSA. One has been married about 30 years with a nice family whose children are adamantly pro-life.

The other is Stephen Bennett who does a ministry. I have his video and the testimony of his wife is something else as she talks about how she felt grief-stricken that he was in trouble as she prayed about her future and husband-to-be.

igroops.com/igroops/sbm

A former Episcopal Priest, now an Anglican Father Earle Fox does speaking engagements and I have his two videos on a lecture he gave in Ma on homosexuality which are great.

theroadtoemmaus.org/EM/Fox/0EFox.htm

I have also gotten two books written by Father Harvey founder of Courage for a single homosexual friend
Thanks for the resources.
 
As for everyone claiming that homosexuality does not need to be cured…remmeber that all forms of sin and concupicence need to be “cured” not by therepy or by “boot camps” but by the grace of God working in our lives. This goes to disordered heterosexuality as well as disordered (all) homosexuality. We are all in need of divine assistance. I say this not to judge; though I myself do not experiance same sex attraction, for years I have struggled with an addiction to pornography. In many ways I still do, and with a lustfull heart. But by the grace of God I have made some progress in removing these desires, desires to use women and my own body as objects of selfish gratification.
I’m NOT saying the people experiencing ssa are “more broken” than I am or any other heterosexual who has lust in their heart, only that we are all partly dead inside due to sin. To clarify, I am not saying that persons with ssa did something bad and God punished that individual with homosexuality; only that all forms of sexual concupiscence are a result of mankind’s sinful, fallen state, same sex or otherwise.
I agree with you-partly. It is not the inclination that needs to be “cured”, because otherwise we’d be trying to cure everyone of their basic sexual drives. You can’t cure that-but you CAN and MUST control it to comply with God’s Law-no matter what your basic inclination is.

We are all disordered in our sins since the Fall, but the sin doesn’t start until you have-as Sister taught us-“know what you’re going to do is gravely wrong-and do it anyway”.
 
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