I apologize if this has been questioned and answered ad nauseum before. Can someone please explain to me why I was told the Church doesn’t accept a civil divorce thus the need for an annulment before I could become Catholic, but when I began the preliminaries of an annulment it is clearly a civil court case complete with judge, witnesses, appearance in a civil court 300 miles away, court costs, etc? My ex was an alcoholic and an addict with violent behavior. I moved 400 miles away in order to feel safe. When I found out everything I said was going to be shared with him I gave up. I wasn’t going to lie on the questions, but I wasn’t going to answer truthfully and invite trouble either. I just kept hearing my dearly departed grandmother say, “Let sleeping dogs lie”. I don’t consider myself Methodist anymore, but I won’t be Catholic so I suppose I’m nothing.
The Church doesn’t accept that civil divorce ENDS a marriage. Therefore, to remarry a new spouse if the first marriage is still considered valid is adultery.
You ONLY need a declaration of nullity to become Catholic IF you have remarried after a divorce.
A formal nullity trial is conducted in a similar manner to a court case, with a few key differences:
- Most of the testimony is usually presented through paperwork. Face-to-face interviews may be required but sometimes they may be delegated (for example, when my husband got his declaration of nullity our pastor interviewed him and the witnesses). The tribunal will usually communicate with you via correspondence. Much of the work is done “behind the scenes” - you won’t actually have to go to a formal “court” to hear the judges give the decision, briefs being submitted, etc. This is all done internally.
- Your former spouse has the right to be notified that you’re pursuing a declaration of nullity, but they do not necessarily have to participate. The tribunal will send your spouse a letter stating that you have submitted a petition to them, and your spouse has the right to decide whether or not to participate. If they decide to do so, the tribunal will contact them to set up an interview and/or submit evidence. This is completely independent from you. Regardless of what your former spouse decides, once all the evidence is in, both of you will receive a letter stating that you have the right to review the evidence if you wish. Sometimes considerations (such as your safety) require the tribunal to redact some of the evidence. If you and/or your spouse decide to review the evidence, the tribunal will contact each of you separately to set up a time. If your spouse decides not to be involved, all they need to do is let the tribunal know. The only further communications they will receive are the letters regarding the decree giving them the right to review the evidence, and the notice of the final decision(s). NONE of this will have any of your demographic details on it.
- A declaration of nullity is not a divorce. Rather, it is a statement that in the eyes of God a valid marriage never existed between the two of you. Your MARRIAGE is what’s on “trial” here, not the two of you. This is why it’s different from a divorce - a divorce ends a marriage; this is a statement that a marriage never existed.
In summary, the process worked this way for Hubby:
a) He gathered his documents and submitted the petition to the tribunal.
b) He received a letter from the tribunal stating that they had received the petition and wanted him to give evidence. He made an appointment with our local pastor to do so.
c) His ex received a letter from the tribunal stating that they had received the petition and inviting her to give evidence. She indicated she did not wish to be involved.
d) Hubby’s witnesses were contacted by the tribunal and asked to give evidence. They made appointments with the local pastor.
e) Hubby was asked to submit some additional evidence given that he had some extra considerations. He mailed it to the tribunal.
f) Hubby received a letter stating that a decree had been issued giving him a set amount of time to review the evidence if he wanted. (He decided not to do so.) Presumably his ex also received such a letter.
g) Hubby received a letter stating that the final decision had been made and it was affirmative (i.e. marriage not valid). He was advised of his right to appeal to the Roman Rota if he did not agree with this decision, told that he was free to marry, and encouraged to contact our pastor if he was thinking of remarrying.
Hubby’s divorce did not involve concerns for his safety, but even so there was no need for him to have any contact with his ex. The only thing we did was to mention to her that she’d be getting a letter from the tribunal just so that she would know to watch for it, but we did this just as a courtesy to her and not because it was required. All information provided to the tribunal is considered confidential and is handled with great care.
