Nuns' Chastity meeting for 8th graders

[AngelRose81]

I have a concern about some things said during the yearly chastity meeting with the 8th graders & parents at our local Catholic school. The sisters are all teachers at the school and all take part in this yearly meeting. I went to the meeting with a friend who has a daughter in the 8th grade since we had carpooled that day to work, but I am not a parent of an 8th grader.

Anyway, the sisters were explaining about their prayer board in the convent and also the prayer intentions they say & post at school, which often list specific intentions such as having cancer, a death in the family, etc… One thing really disturbed me and I do not see how it is right that this was said, so if someone can put me in the direction of where this is moral or church law, it’d be great.

During the talk, one of the sisters said they had removed anyone who they were praying for who had been diagnosed with cervical cancer from all of the prayer intentions at the convent, school, and possibly the church. The reason for this…they claimed that because cervical cancer was sometimes caused by an STD, it was better to not have that intention posted because the cancer was caused during a probable sinful act.

I’m sorry, but that is not always the case and what morally would give them the right to say this and be teaching this to the children? I was greatly disturbed by this and would really appreciate some help on the matter! Thanks!

 

[1ke]

What exactly do you expect from people here? If you are upset about it, talk to the Sisters who gave the talk. Ask them to explain their reasoning and point out how this can give the wrong impression to the children.

Is it wrong-headed? Yes
Is it ultimately the Sisters’ choice what goes on their prayer board? Yes

 

[AngelRose81]

What exactly do you expect from people here? If you are upset about it, talk to the Sisters who gave the talk. Ask them to explain their reasoning and point out how this can give the wrong impression to the children.

Is it wrong-headed? Yes
Is it ultimately the Sisters’ choice what goes on their prayer board? Yes

I expect someone to hopefully answer me as to if there is some sort of teaching that prohibits actually putting someone’s name on a prayer list because they have cancer due because they might have gotten it from an STD. To me, it sounds as if the sisters are judging people they may or may not even know and they are passing this on to the kids. The sisters were asked in the meeting and confronted about it, but they stood their ground and said that they weren’t going to risk publicly praying for someone who had possibly committed such a grave sin.

 

[1ke]

I expect someone to hopefully answer me as to if there is some sort of teaching that prohibits actually putting someone’s name on a prayer list because they have cancer due because they might have gotten it from an STD.

The Church’s teaching doesn’t work that way. The Church doesn’t have lists of do’s and don’t’s such as what you indicate above,

 

[AngelRose81]

The Church’s teaching doesn’t work that way. The Church doesn’t have lists of do’s and don’t’s such as what you indicate above,

Well, then, is there ANY moral law, scripture verse, etc. that I can bring up? I know there aren’t do’s and don’ts that are THAT specific, but I’m sure that there is something that relates to it, if only some scripture about the fact that we cannot determine who sins and who doesn’t. I’m just asking for some help and if you aren’t willing to give it to me, then kindly direct me to where I can find it. This is a big problem I’ve begun to notice about this forum lately, which is why I don’t post a question like this unless I’ve exhausted all other outlets for answers.

 

[Catholic90]

The sisters are wrong. However, there is an easy enough way to run around their rules and get prayers posted anyway. Instead of saying “cervical cancer”, a prayer can be posted for “the health and well-being” of someone or “for someone suffering with illness”. Sometimes less detail is more. Nothing says the sisters have to know everything.

 

[AngelRose81]

The sisters are wrong. However, there is an easy enough way to run around their rules and get prayers posted anyway. Instead of saying “cervical cancer”, a prayer can be posted for “the health and well-being” of someone or “for someone suffering with illness”. Sometimes less detail is more. Nothing says the sisters have to know everything.

That is a way to fix it, and I will try that. But I guess, to me, it still is skirting the issue of the message that sends to the kids. What if one of their mothers or someone close to them is diagnosed with it and it wasn’t caused by an STD and they ask something like “Well, we are praying for Jane Doe because she has breast cancer, why can’t we pray for my mom who has cervical cancer?” Believe me, yes, they will ask something like that and I have a strong feeling that the sisters will still continue to write specific cancers or illnesses for others but not those with cervical cancer.

 

[catharina]

I have a concern about some things said during the yearly chastity meeting with the 8th graders & parents at our local Catholic school. The sisters are all teachers at the school and all take part in this yearly meeting. I went to the meeting with a friend who has a daughter in the 8th grade since we had carpooled that day to work, but I am not a parent of an 8th grader.

Anyway, the sisters were explaining about their prayer board in the convent and also the prayer intentions they say & post at school, which often list specific intentions such as having cancer, a death in the family, etc… One thing really disturbed me and I do not see how it is right that this was said, so if someone can put me in the direction of where this is moral or church law, it’d be great.

During the talk, one of the sisters said they had removed anyone who they were praying for who had been diagnosed with cervical cancer from all of the prayer intentions at the convent, school, and possibly the church. The reason for this…they claimed that because cervical cancer was sometimes caused by an STD, it was better to not have that intention posted because the cancer was caused during a probable sinful act.

I’m sorry, but that is not always the case and what morally would give them the right to say this and be teaching this to the children? I was greatly disturbed by this and would really appreciate some help on the matter! Thanks!

I suggest that you find out who is the Provincial Superior of these Sisters and write to her. It’s not difficult to learn who. Google it: the name of the community of Sisters and ask “Provincial House” then enter the site and looke for who’s in charge. Write to her. It’s hard to imagine that any community of Sisters who take this attitude. It’s likely that the community does NOT know of this bizarre thinking and would stop it … at the least would forbid mentioning it to a class of children. Go for it.

 

[kmuestwin]

If and when you do confront these sisters, do your best to stay level headed. Nobody ever won an argument or discussion by getting emotional. It’s hard to discuss things like this with people, especially when it is obviously wrong what they are doing.

My suggestion is not to talk to the sisters directly but to go to their Superior. She will be better equipped to solve the problem. If you discuss this with the sisters directly, they are more likely to huddle up and defend their wrong position. Calmly write a letter or schedule a meeting with the Provincial Superior and see how that goes. Bad news is always received better when it comes from the top down rather than from an “outsider.”

Stay calm and try to say a prayer before this confrontation so that you will be heard and not harassed!

 

[kmuestwin]

!!! I can’t help, but can only share your disturbance about this. Their actions are so illogical, uncharitable, and unloving…how can they even call themselves nuns? I am so upset by this…if you had said what school they were at, I’d call up and talk to them myself.
I think you should complain.
I think you should say something to them.
I think you should ask them “do you think God does not love a person with cervical cancer?”.
And then, ask them if either of them have ever, ever sinned in their lives and confessed a sin to a priest. And, were they forgiven? Or were they shut out.

Name calling and baiting people will never get them on your side. It is much better to take the high road and speak as a concerned Christian. Emotion has its place but staying calm and being polite is what makes things happen.

 

[Cable]

!!! I can’t help, but can only share your disturbance about this. Their actions are so illogical, uncharitable, and unloving…how can they even call themselves nuns? I am so upset by this…if you had said what school they were at, I’d call up and talk to them myself.
I think you should complain.
I think you should say something to them.
I think you should ask them “do you think God does not love a person with cervical cancer?”.
And then, ask them if either of them have ever, ever sinned in their lives and confessed a sin to a priest. And, were they forgiven? Or were they shut out.

It’s more than likely all the others didn’t agree with this sister, who maybe was just trying not to appear to the children & parents as if she condones something immoral or… - who knows her motive. I agree it’s a mistake. Why not just kindly and calmly point it out to the person in charge, and suggest a way to handle it in the future. I don’t see why they need to announce all the details either. It’s unnecessary. We’ve had everybody pray for “a special intention”, which could be anything under the sun, and that was always good enough. I know nuns are held to a higher standard sometimes, but even nuns have faux pas. They’re not saints yet.

 

[George_Stegmeir]

My suggestion is that since most Convents are associated with a Parochial School, which in turn is administered by a Parish, that you discuss this matter with the Pastor.
He will take immediate steps that will amaze you! If he doesn’t correct this situation, then take it up with the order, sending a copy of the correspondance to your Bishop. Make sure that you type Copy to…at the bottom of the letter.
A good rule of thumb to follow in such situations is to do everything you can locally, dealing at first with the Mother Superior of the convent and then the Pastor. Save dealing with the big guns only if you cannot handle the situation locally. And, above all be logical and tactfull. Act in a truely Christian manner and you will get results.

 

[thequeen]

Yes please like another poster said tell the superior general I my self am a cervical cancer survivor and yes I did loose my virginity when I was 19 and not living according to the magisterium of the church however when I converted at 28 I was celibate and had been for many years and still am and will continue to be until i get married or until i pass from this world whichever comes first.Thank goodness that the Priest who gave me private instruction did not have an attitudes like those nuns and he was a very holy man and did not put up with people trying to be liberal any way I was 29 when I was diagnosed and when Father came to see me he told me that he would be sure to put it in the prayers of the faithful well to make a long story short they caught it early i went thru 3 periods of chemo had a total hysterectemy and have managed since then to remain healthy and have kept my weight at 108 pounds I did get down to 82 pounds when i was getting chemo but please get intouch with the superior general that is an awful attitude for them to take.the fact that i am short 5 helped to not make the 82 pounds look too bad on me I am 5 feet 2and 3/4 inches tall.

 

[auderyja]

I have a concern about some things said during the yearly chastity meeting with the 8th graders & parents at our local Catholic school. The sisters are all teachers at the school and all take part in this yearly meeting. I went to the meeting with a friend who has a daughter in the 8th grade since we had carpooled that day to work, but I am not a parent of an 8th grader.

Anyway, the sisters were explaining about their prayer board in the convent and also the prayer intentions they say & post at school, which often list specific intentions such as having cancer, a death in the family, etc… One thing really disturbed me and I do not see how it is right that this was said, so if someone can put me in the direction of where this is moral or church law, it’d be great.

During the talk, one of the sisters said they had removed anyone who they were praying for who had been diagnosed with cervical cancer from all of the prayer intentions at the convent, school, and possibly the church. The reason for this…they claimed that because cervical cancer was sometimes caused by an STD, it was better to not have that intention posted because the cancer was caused during a probable sinful act.

I’m sorry, but that is not always the case and what morally would give them the right to say this and be teaching this to the children? I was greatly disturbed by this and would really appreciate some help on the matter! Thanks!

Did you hear right? If yes, I agree with your disturbed reaction. Cervical cancer is not caused by STD. Ignorance is at work.

 

[catharina]

Did you hear right? If yes, I agree with your disturbed reaction. Cervical cancer is not caused by STD. Ignorance is at work.

Ignorance is at work AND
it’s being taught as medical fact.

HORRIBLE.