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Eilrahc
Guest
I remember during my mid-teens (still Protestant), my parents were listening to “Sadeness” by Enigma. I was laughing my head off, because Gregorian chants sounded funny to me at the time.
Nuttiest Things Non-Catholics Have Said or Done Around You Because You're Catholic
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Crescentinus
Guest
Here’s a conversation with a Baptist friend Saturday. It’s not anti-Catholic, but it’s funny.
Friend: So now that you’re Catholic are there any single Catholic men you can meet?
Me: Yes, they’re called priests.
Friend: hmmm well that’s not going to work.
Me: No, it’s not.
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LadyJulian
Guest
I grew up as a Southern Baptist. Our preacher and Sunday school teachers–most of the Baptists in fact–were/are sincere Christians who have never been exposed to the (real) Catholic Church, so I guess I can’t blame them for repeating howlers they have been taught about “what Catholics believe”.
I recall being envious of Catholic kids since it appears (according to a Sunday School teacher when I was about 8 years old) that Catholics really don’t have to worry about sin at all. She informed us that if a Catholic commits a sin, all he/she is required to do is go to confession and tell the priest what he/she has done wrong, the priest immediately “forgives” the sinner, so they can go right back out and repeat the same sin all week until next weekend when confession starts all over again. I remember thinking to myself, “Man, have those Catholics got it easy!!!”
I recall being envious of Catholic kids since it appears (according to a Sunday School teacher when I was about 8 years old) that Catholics really don’t have to worry about sin at all. She informed us that if a Catholic commits a sin, all he/she is required to do is go to confession and tell the priest what he/she has done wrong, the priest immediately “forgives” the sinner, so they can go right back out and repeat the same sin all week until next weekend when confession starts all over again. I remember thinking to myself, “Man, have those Catholics got it easy!!!”
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Patavium
Guest
I remember a friend was shocked when I told him that I could go to Mass everyday. Apparently, only Sunday service is the rule for most protestants…
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LadyJulian
Guest
I just remembered another one. It still makes me laugh.
My mom (Protestant) used to work at Vocational Rehabilitation, trying to find jobs for people with disabilities. Her boss was a great and extremely funny guy named Lewis (also Protestant.)
Anyway…Voc Rehab had so many clients they needed extra space to meet them all, esp. in a part of the county known as “The Valley”. Most of the people who lived in “The Valley” were extremely poor, extremely conservative, extremely Protestant (fundamentalist actually) and for the most part, very poorly educated. I’m not saying that to be mean, just to sketch out the background. But in “The Valley”, of all places, was a Catholic convent…and when the sisters heard that meeting places for Voc Rehab clients were desperately needed in their area, they offered available conference rooms in the convent. Nothing to do with religion, of course, they made no efforts to interfere or to convert any of Lewis’s clients, they were just offering the available space in an effort to help out. Lewis gratefully accepted the sisters’ kind offer and began meeting local clients there.
Until the day he met a particularly anti-Catholic client who had arrived to find, to his horror and outrage, that he was in a Catholic convent. He met Lewis in the parking lot and Lewis said the man was so angry he was afraid he might actually get attacked. But Lewis is extremely good with ppl and he finally got the man calmed down enough to ask him why he was so upset. The conversation went something like this:
Lewis: So what’s the problem?
Client: They’re Catholics–NUNS!!!
Lewis: But why are you so upset? It’s just a meeting place.
Client: NOOOO, Mr. Lewis, you don’t get it! It’s a trick!
Lewis: Ahhh…what kind of trick exactly?
Client: Don’t you know anything about these Catholics? They want to turn us all into Catholics like them!!
Lewis: No, they’re just offering us a place to meet. Why? Has anyone been talking to you about converting?
Client: No, they’re too smart for that. They’re sneaky. They get you here thinking it’s just a meeting place, but it’s all a trick. Cause once you’re here, one of those nuns comes out, says some “mumbo-jumbo” over you, and turns you into a Catholic!!
My mom (Protestant) used to work at Vocational Rehabilitation, trying to find jobs for people with disabilities. Her boss was a great and extremely funny guy named Lewis (also Protestant.)
Anyway…Voc Rehab had so many clients they needed extra space to meet them all, esp. in a part of the county known as “The Valley”. Most of the people who lived in “The Valley” were extremely poor, extremely conservative, extremely Protestant (fundamentalist actually) and for the most part, very poorly educated. I’m not saying that to be mean, just to sketch out the background. But in “The Valley”, of all places, was a Catholic convent…and when the sisters heard that meeting places for Voc Rehab clients were desperately needed in their area, they offered available conference rooms in the convent. Nothing to do with religion, of course, they made no efforts to interfere or to convert any of Lewis’s clients, they were just offering the available space in an effort to help out. Lewis gratefully accepted the sisters’ kind offer and began meeting local clients there.
Until the day he met a particularly anti-Catholic client who had arrived to find, to his horror and outrage, that he was in a Catholic convent. He met Lewis in the parking lot and Lewis said the man was so angry he was afraid he might actually get attacked. But Lewis is extremely good with ppl and he finally got the man calmed down enough to ask him why he was so upset. The conversation went something like this:
Lewis: So what’s the problem?
Client: They’re Catholics–NUNS!!!
Lewis: But why are you so upset? It’s just a meeting place.
Client: NOOOO, Mr. Lewis, you don’t get it! It’s a trick!
Lewis: Ahhh…what kind of trick exactly?
Client: Don’t you know anything about these Catholics? They want to turn us all into Catholics like them!!
Lewis: No, they’re just offering us a place to meet. Why? Has anyone been talking to you about converting?
Client: No, they’re too smart for that. They’re sneaky. They get you here thinking it’s just a meeting place, but it’s all a trick. Cause once you’re here, one of those nuns comes out, says some “mumbo-jumbo” over you, and turns you into a Catholic!!
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Acerunner
Guest
I almost couldn’t stop laughing at this. I really wish I could have been there for it.I just remembered another one. It still makes me laugh.
My mom (Protestant) used to work at Vocational Rehabilitation, trying to find jobs for people with disabilities. Her boss was a great and extremely funny guy named Lewis (also Protestant.)
Anyway…Voc Rehab had so many clients they needed extra space to meet them all, esp. in a part of the county known as “The Valley”. Most of the people who lived in “The Valley” were extremely poor, extremely conservative, extremely Protestant (fundamentalist actually) and for the most part, very poorly educated. I’m not saying that to be mean, just to sketch out the background. But in “The Valley”, of all places, was a Catholic convent…and when the sisters heard that meeting places for Voc Rehab clients were desperately needed in their area, they offered available conference rooms in the convent. Nothing to do with religion, of course, they made no efforts to interfere or to convert any of Lewis’s clients, they were just offering the available space in an effort to help out. Lewis gratefully accepted the sisters’ kind offer and began meeting local clients there.
Until the day he met a particularly anti-Catholic client who had arrived to find, to his horror and outrage, that he was in a Catholic convent. He met Lewis in the parking lot and Lewis said the man was so angry he was afraid he might actually get attacked. But Lewis is extremely good with ppl and he finally got the man calmed down enough to ask him why he was so upset. The conversation went something like this:
Lewis: So what’s the problem?
Client: They’re Catholics–NUNS!!!
Lewis: But why are you so upset? It’s just a meeting place.
Client: NOOOO, Mr. Lewis, you don’t get it! It’s a trick!
Lewis: Ahhh…what kind of trick exactly?
Client: Don’t you know anything about these Catholics? They want to turn us all into Catholics like them!!
Lewis: No, they’re just offering us a place to meet. Why? Has anyone been talking to you about converting?
Client: No, they’re too smart for that. They’re sneaky. They get you here thinking it’s just a meeting place, but it’s all a trick. Cause once you’re here, one of those nuns comes out, says some “mumbo-jumbo” over you, and turns you into a Catholic!!
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nickybr38
Guest
If only conversion were that easy!!!I just remembered another one. It still makes me laugh.
My mom (Protestant) used to work at Vocational Rehabilitation, trying to find jobs for people with disabilities. Her boss was a great and extremely funny guy named Lewis (also Protestant.)
Anyway…Voc Rehab had so many clients they needed extra space to meet them all, esp. in a part of the county known as “The Valley”. Most of the people who lived in “The Valley” were extremely poor, extremely conservative, extremely Protestant (fundamentalist actually) and for the most part, very poorly educated. I’m not saying that to be mean, just to sketch out the background. But in “The Valley”, of all places, was a Catholic convent…and when the sisters heard that meeting places for Voc Rehab clients were desperately needed in their area, they offered available conference rooms in the convent. Nothing to do with religion, of course, they made no efforts to interfere or to convert any of Lewis’s clients, they were just offering the available space in an effort to help out. Lewis gratefully accepted the sisters’ kind offer and began meeting local clients there.
Until the day he met a particularly anti-Catholic client who had arrived to find, to his horror and outrage, that he was in a Catholic convent. He met Lewis in the parking lot and Lewis said the man was so angry he was afraid he might actually get attacked. But Lewis is extremely good with ppl and he finally got the man calmed down enough to ask him why he was so upset. The conversation went something like this:
Lewis: So what’s the problem?
Client: They’re Catholics–NUNS!!!
Lewis: But why are you so upset? It’s just a meeting place.
Client: NOOOO, Mr. Lewis, you don’t get it! It’s a trick!
Lewis: Ahhh…what kind of trick exactly?
Client: Don’t you know anything about these Catholics? They want to turn us all into Catholics like them!!
Lewis: No, they’re just offering us a place to meet. Why? Has anyone been talking to you about converting?
Client: No, they’re too smart for that. They’re sneaky. They get you here thinking it’s just a meeting place, but it’s all a trick. Cause once you’re here, one of those nuns comes out, says some “mumbo-jumbo” over you, and turns you into a Catholic!!
O
oldcatholicguy
Guest
Read this and immediately pictured a van packed full of nuns roving around the city secretly conducting “drive by baptisms”. You’re standing on the street corner minding your own business and a van comes screeching to a stop in front of you, side door flies open, Nun A throws holy water in your face, Nun B recites “mumbo-jumbo”, Nun C throws a rosery at you as they speed away.I just remembered another one. It still makes me laugh.
My mom (Protestant) used to work at Vocational Rehabilitation, trying to find jobs for people with disabilities. Her boss was a great and extremely funny guy named Lewis (also Protestant.)
Anyway…Voc Rehab had so many clients they needed extra space to meet them all, esp. in a part of the county known as “The Valley”. Most of the people who lived in “The Valley” were extremely poor, extremely conservative, extremely Protestant (fundamentalist actually) and for the most part, very poorly educated. I’m not saying that to be mean, just to sketch out the background. But in “The Valley”, of all places, was a Catholic convent…and when the sisters heard that meeting places for Voc Rehab clients were desperately needed in their area, they offered available conference rooms in the convent. Nothing to do with religion, of course, they made no efforts to interfere or to convert any of Lewis’s clients, they were just offering the available space in an effort to help out. Lewis gratefully accepted the sisters’ kind offer and began meeting local clients there.
Until the day he met a particularly anti-Catholic client who had arrived to find, to his horror and outrage, that he was in a Catholic convent. He met Lewis in the parking lot and Lewis said the man was so angry he was afraid he might actually get attacked. But Lewis is extremely good with ppl and he finally got the man calmed down enough to ask him why he was so upset. The conversation went something like this:
Lewis: So what’s the problem?
Client: They’re Catholics–NUNS!!!
Lewis: But why are you so upset? It’s just a meeting place.
Client: NOOOO, Mr. Lewis, you don’t get it! It’s a trick!
Lewis: Ahhh…what kind of trick exactly?
Client: Don’t you know anything about these Catholics? They want to turn us all into Catholics like them!!
Lewis: No, they’re just offering us a place to meet. Why? Has anyone been talking to you about converting?
Client: No, they’re too smart for that. They’re sneaky. They get you here thinking it’s just a meeting place, but it’s all a trick. Cause once you’re here, one of those nuns comes out, says some “mumbo-jumbo” over you, and turns you into a Catholic!!
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Crescentinus
Guest
That just gave me ideas on how to deal with the proselytizing types of Jehovah’s Witnesses, for one.I just remembered another one. It still makes me laugh.
My mom (Protestant) used to work at Vocational Rehabilitation, trying to find jobs for people with disabilities. Her boss was a great and extremely funny guy named Lewis (also Protestant.)
Anyway…Voc Rehab had so many clients they needed extra space to meet them all, esp. in a part of the county known as “The Valley”. Most of the people who lived in “The Valley” were extremely poor, extremely conservative, extremely Protestant (fundamentalist actually) and for the most part, very poorly educated. I’m not saying that to be mean, just to sketch out the background. But in “The Valley”, of all places, was a Catholic convent…and when the sisters heard that meeting places for Voc Rehab clients were desperately needed in their area, they offered available conference rooms in the convent. Nothing to do with religion, of course, they made no efforts to interfere or to convert any of Lewis’s clients, they were just offering the available space in an effort to help out. Lewis gratefully accepted the sisters’ kind offer and began meeting local clients there.
Until the day he met a particularly anti-Catholic client who had arrived to find, to his horror and outrage, that he was in a Catholic convent. He met Lewis in the parking lot and Lewis said the man was so angry he was afraid he might actually get attacked. But Lewis is extremely good with ppl and he finally got the man calmed down enough to ask him why he was so upset. The conversation went something like this:
Lewis: So what’s the problem?
Client: They’re Catholics–NUNS!!!
Lewis: But why are you so upset? It’s just a meeting place.
Client: NOOOO, Mr. Lewis, you don’t get it! It’s a trick!
Lewis: Ahhh…what kind of trick exactly?
Client: Don’t you know anything about these Catholics? They want to turn us all into Catholics like them!!
Lewis: No, they’re just offering us a place to meet. Why? Has anyone been talking to you about converting?
Client: No, they’re too smart for that. They’re sneaky. They get you here thinking it’s just a meeting place, but it’s all a trick. Cause once you’re here, one of those nuns comes out, says some “mumbo-jumbo” over you, and turns you into a Catholic!!
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Cairisti
Guest
That’s a good one! Reminds me of my mom when I told her I was going through RCIA. I told her converting wasn’t required, but she was unconvinced. “They always find a way” or something similar. Had visions of the priests in a small room, metal chairs and a single overhead light. That or a Monty Python skit!I just remembered another one. It still makes me laugh.
My mom (Protestant) used to work at Vocational Rehabilitation, trying to find jobs for people with disabilities. Her boss was a great and extremely funny guy named Lewis (also Protestant.)
Anyway…Voc Rehab had so many clients they needed extra space to meet them all, esp. in a part of the county known as “The Valley”. Most of the people who lived in “The Valley” were extremely poor, extremely conservative, extremely Protestant (fundamentalist actually) and for the most part, very poorly educated. I’m not saying that to be mean, just to sketch out the background. But in “The Valley”, of all places, was a Catholic convent…and when the sisters heard that meeting places for Voc Rehab clients were desperately needed in their area, they offered available conference rooms in the convent. Nothing to do with religion, of course, they made no efforts to interfere or to convert any of Lewis’s clients, they were just offering the available space in an effort to help out. Lewis gratefully accepted the sisters’ kind offer and began meeting local clients there.
Until the day he met a particularly anti-Catholic client who had arrived to find, to his horror and outrage, that he was in a Catholic convent. He met Lewis in the parking lot and Lewis said the man was so angry he was afraid he might actually get attacked. But Lewis is extremely good with ppl and he finally got the man calmed down enough to ask him why he was so upset. The conversation went something like this:
Lewis: So what’s the problem?
Client: They’re Catholics–NUNS!!!
Lewis: But why are you so upset? It’s just a meeting place.
Client: NOOOO, Mr. Lewis, you don’t get it! It’s a trick!
Lewis: Ahhh…what kind of trick exactly?
Client: Don’t you know anything about these Catholics? They want to turn us all into Catholics like them!!
Lewis: No, they’re just offering us a place to meet. Why? Has anyone been talking to you about converting?
Client: No, they’re too smart for that. They’re sneaky. They get you here thinking it’s just a meeting place, but it’s all a trick. Cause once you’re here, one of those nuns comes out, says some “mumbo-jumbo” over you, and turns you into a Catholic!!
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Crescentinus
Guest
- Catholicism is the whore of babylon/ a cult
- We worship Mary and the saints
- We worship other idols
- We worship the pope and treat him like God.
- We are not Christian
- We were founded by Constatine
etc
- Catholics are behind the “Sunday Laws”, according to Seventh-Day Adventists. Sadly, I have been at the receiving end of many a Seventh-Day Adventists’ diatribe against Catholicism. Whenever I go refute their arguments successfully, they go for the more insulting accusations.
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Ohana
Guest
Just stay here at the door please. I have to go get my holy water, rosary and mumbo-jumbo book!That just gave me ideas on how to deal with the proselytizing types of Jehovah’s Witnesses, for one.
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Crescentinus
Guest
Will do.Just stay here at the door please. I have to go get my holy water, rosary and mumbo-jumbo book!
Oh, and I’ll get some beer and some of the food I made Man vs. Food style.
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CatholicRaven
Guest
This thread is making me laugh!
In junior high, talking with some friends one day, the subject of Catholic schools came up. I mentioned that I was Catholic and had attended Catholic school up until my family had moved to that area and I started going to this school (public). During that conversation and later ones, I got some strange questions from those friends, not just about going to Catholic schools, but also about Catholics in general:
Don’t you have to learn to play an instrument in Catholic school?
Are you required to take horseback riding and tennis?
Were all your classes taught by strict nuns?
Did the nuns paddle you if they caught you talking to a boy?
When you go to church, do you have to wear a special robe?
When you worship a statue, don’t you have to leave money there and light a candle for it?
When you get married, do you have to have sex with the priest on your wedding night to prove that you’re a virgin?
(She also thought that if he discovered that the woman was not a virgin, she got an immediate annulment and had to become a nun.)
I think I got most of them straightened out… I hope!
In junior high, talking with some friends one day, the subject of Catholic schools came up. I mentioned that I was Catholic and had attended Catholic school up until my family had moved to that area and I started going to this school (public). During that conversation and later ones, I got some strange questions from those friends, not just about going to Catholic schools, but also about Catholics in general:
Don’t you have to learn to play an instrument in Catholic school?
Are you required to take horseback riding and tennis?
Were all your classes taught by strict nuns?
Did the nuns paddle you if they caught you talking to a boy?
When you go to church, do you have to wear a special robe?
When you worship a statue, don’t you have to leave money there and light a candle for it?
When you get married, do you have to have sex with the priest on your wedding night to prove that you’re a virgin?
(She also thought that if he discovered that the woman was not a virgin, she got an immediate annulment and had to become a nun.)I think I got most of them straightened out… I hope!
S
SecretaryMonday
Guest
Read this and immediately pictured a van packed full of nuns roving around the city secretly conducting “drive by baptisms”. You’re standing on the street corner minding your own business and a van comes screeching to a stop in front of you, side door flies open, Nun A throws holy water in your face, Nun B recites “mumbo-jumbo”, Nun C throws a rosery at you as they speed away.
A friend was enjoying the beach in a bikini with some friends, and some attractive young men came up to talk. The boys asked what school the girls went to; when they found out that the girls were Catholic, they said, “Oh. Are you nuns?”
An older lady found out that I’m Catholic. She had been raised Catholic for a while, but left the Church very young because she didn’t like how they talked in “Pig-latin”. Sometimes she asks me Catholic questions. One of them was: “So, about saints. Like…tell me all the names of all the saints.” (I said, “There’s a lot of saints!”)
Mom says, “The one thing I can’t accept about Catholicism is how they think Mary was born of a virgin.” So I explain the doctrine of the Immaculate Conception and that Mary was not born of a virgin. A month later, she says, “The one thing I’ll never be able to accept is how Catholics think Mary was born of a virgin.” (I explained again. NOW the “one thing” that she can’t accept about Catholicism is how they think Mary remained a virgin.)
Little Sister’s friends think its wierd that I’m Catholic, and they ask her, “Your sister is Catholic…ummmm, are you okay with that?”
One of them said, “Catholics just lie. All that Catholics do is lie.” (If I’m at Little Sister’s house when this friend calls, I stand in the background and say something like, “The Catholic is here. And its lying to you…”
)From a Seventh Day Adventist I have gotten, “Catholicism is not Christian, its Universalism. ‘Catholic’ means ‘Universal’; it was started by Constantine to include all idolatrous and pagan religions.”
Funny facebook conversation I had with non-Catholic Little Sister:
Her facebook status: “I need less candy and more Jesus this Easter.” (Keep in mind, she’s wierd like me and only says stuff like that when she’s depressed.)
Me: “I’ll eat your candy, then. I already ate Jesus.”
Her: “BWAHAHAHAHAHA that made my day…”
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on_the_hill
Guest
Interesting thread–because growing up, everyone I knew was either Catholic, Jewish, or didn’t practice any religion. I didn’t meet a practicing Protestant until I was a senior in high school.
So I’ve never faced these situations. Aside from one time, years ago, when at a work-related conference I met a few folks from around the country. Two, a man and a woman, were Baptist.
We had just been introduced. I have no idea how the topic of religion came up, but we were probably comparing our backgrounds. Me: of East European heritage, from a northern industrial city, and Catholic. They: of WASPy heritage, from Missouri, and Baptist. The woman said, rather accusingly, “You pray to Mary.”
Taken aback, I laughed it off and said, “That’s not really how it goes.” And followed with my own observation, “I always thought Baptists were African American.” Which is absolutely true, I had thought that my whole life. I was as surprised to meet white Baptists as they were to meet a Roman Catholic. She blanched, visibly offended, and religion never came up again.
Third person I met was from Alabama, and he was thrilled to meet a fellow Catholic, Catholics being in short supply in the deep South. Also, he was gay. But that’s somewhat beside the point of the thread.
So I’ve never faced these situations. Aside from one time, years ago, when at a work-related conference I met a few folks from around the country. Two, a man and a woman, were Baptist.
We had just been introduced. I have no idea how the topic of religion came up, but we were probably comparing our backgrounds. Me: of East European heritage, from a northern industrial city, and Catholic. They: of WASPy heritage, from Missouri, and Baptist. The woman said, rather accusingly, “You pray to Mary.”
Taken aback, I laughed it off and said, “That’s not really how it goes.” And followed with my own observation, “I always thought Baptists were African American.” Which is absolutely true, I had thought that my whole life. I was as surprised to meet white Baptists as they were to meet a Roman Catholic. She blanched, visibly offended, and religion never came up again.
Third person I met was from Alabama, and he was thrilled to meet a fellow Catholic, Catholics being in short supply in the deep South. Also, he was gay. But that’s somewhat beside the point of the thread.
S
Seamus_L
Guest
What I can remember at the moment
1.All priests are pedophiles
2.The Catholic Church should be shutdown in America because it’s a club for pedophiles.
3.Infallible means the Pope is perfect and sinless.
4.Mary is the real godess we worship.
5.The Vatican owns Yankee Stadium.
6. Statues are somehow alive.
7.The Catholic Church was founded by Satan in order to lead souls to Hell.
8.The Vatican keeps a hitlist of every known Protestant in the world.
9.The Pope can tell God what to do.
10.All Catholics must do whatever there priest tells them too.
1.All priests are pedophiles
2.The Catholic Church should be shutdown in America because it’s a club for pedophiles.
3.Infallible means the Pope is perfect and sinless.
4.Mary is the real godess we worship.
5.The Vatican owns Yankee Stadium.
6. Statues are somehow alive.
7.The Catholic Church was founded by Satan in order to lead souls to Hell.
8.The Vatican keeps a hitlist of every known Protestant in the world.
9.The Pope can tell God what to do.
10.All Catholics must do whatever there priest tells them too.
T
TheDoors
Guest
M
MissBorgia
Guest
WOW that is a whopper that i have never heard !This thread is making me laugh!
In junior high, talking with some friends one day, the subject of Catholic schools came up. I mentioned that I was Catholic and had attended Catholic school up until my family had moved to that area and I started going to this school (public). During that conversation and later ones, I got some strange questions from those friends, not just about going to Catholic schools, but also about Catholics in general:
Don’t you have to learn to play an instrument in Catholic school?
Are you required to take horseback riding and tennis?
Were all your classes taught by strict nuns?
Did the nuns paddle you if they caught you talking to a boy?
When you go to church, do you have to wear a special robe?
When you worship a statue, don’t you have to leave money there and light a candle for it?
When you get married, do you have to have sex with the priest on your wedding night to prove that you’re a virgin?
I think I got most of them straightened out… I hope!
J
JustaServant
Guest
To be fair, some of this sounds like they might have been pulling your leg.This thread is making me laugh!
In junior high, talking with some friends one day, the subject of Catholic schools came up. I mentioned that I was Catholic and had attended Catholic school up until my family had moved to that area and I started going to this school (public). During that conversation and later ones, I got some strange questions from those friends, not just about going to Catholic schools, but also about Catholics in general:
Don’t you have to learn to play an instrument in Catholic school?
Are you required to take horseback riding and tennis?
Were all your classes taught by strict nuns?
Did the nuns paddle you if they caught you talking to a boy?
When you go to church, do you have to wear a special robe?
When you worship a statue, don’t you have to leave money there and light a candle for it?
When you get married, do you have to have sex with the priest on your wedding night to prove that you’re a virgin?
I think I got most of them straightened out… I hope!
- Status