T
tamccrackine
Guest
I have many issues that I’ve been trying so hard to work through for so many years. I have issues in my past that make me feel alot of hatred, rage, anger and just all over negative feelings that seem to control alot of my days.
To make a long story short, I’ve had two abortions and while I feel comforted in my forgiveness of those abortions, I have immense rage and hatred for the people involved in making me get them and supporting that proceedure while to this day, they proclaim they are good Catholics, give out Communion and then in the same breath, say they are pro-life and would never lead their children to abortion. I have tried to talk to these people but the standard answer of “your life would have been hell had you had a dispicable child by that (insert negative name here). How would it look on us to have a 20 year old college student knocked up and unmarried?” To this day they don’t see the harm it caused me even though I’ve tried to explain it to them.
I know the devil was invited into my life when I was younger. Through occult studies, studying paganism and Satanism, wishing I was a Satanist, sitting in Mass just HATING Christ and seething at the crucifix “I hate you”, having my palms read on more than one occassion, reading books that supported my fantasy about the occult. When a born again Christian in my highschool saw me reading one of those books, he screamed at me and said I was going to hell. I went to my supposedly devout Catholic mother (see above paragraph about my abortions) and she said she’d rather me know the devil than be afraid of him. So, being the young kid I was and wanting to believe my mother, I kept on reading that stuff. I gobbled up the Exorcist and other type movies and wished they were real.
I just recently learned how the devil gets into your life with such a strong hold. I invited him when I was younger. He makes you obsess over things in which you shouldn’t obsess over and this is a type of possession. I’ve always gone to confession about my rage and anger but it’s gotten worse the more I confess it. I am starting to feel worn out.
Now how do I find a priest that will help me with this? What types of questions can you ask a priest that based off his answers, will indicate that he just won’t brush you off and say “Oh just go to confession and keep praying.” I’ve done every stinkin’ thing I can think of that I personally can do.
I am scared and I want to stop obsessing over all these things that happened. I have to forgive these people but I can’t get past this hatred and disgust I feel for them. Telling me to “give it to Christ” is a heck of a lot easier said than done and has never worked for me in the past.
Has anyone ever experienced this and what was a good start point for you in finding a spiritual director and/or priest that helped you through this?
To make a long story short, I’ve had two abortions and while I feel comforted in my forgiveness of those abortions, I have immense rage and hatred for the people involved in making me get them and supporting that proceedure while to this day, they proclaim they are good Catholics, give out Communion and then in the same breath, say they are pro-life and would never lead their children to abortion. I have tried to talk to these people but the standard answer of “your life would have been hell had you had a dispicable child by that (insert negative name here). How would it look on us to have a 20 year old college student knocked up and unmarried?” To this day they don’t see the harm it caused me even though I’ve tried to explain it to them.
I know the devil was invited into my life when I was younger. Through occult studies, studying paganism and Satanism, wishing I was a Satanist, sitting in Mass just HATING Christ and seething at the crucifix “I hate you”, having my palms read on more than one occassion, reading books that supported my fantasy about the occult. When a born again Christian in my highschool saw me reading one of those books, he screamed at me and said I was going to hell. I went to my supposedly devout Catholic mother (see above paragraph about my abortions) and she said she’d rather me know the devil than be afraid of him. So, being the young kid I was and wanting to believe my mother, I kept on reading that stuff. I gobbled up the Exorcist and other type movies and wished they were real.
I just recently learned how the devil gets into your life with such a strong hold. I invited him when I was younger. He makes you obsess over things in which you shouldn’t obsess over and this is a type of possession. I’ve always gone to confession about my rage and anger but it’s gotten worse the more I confess it. I am starting to feel worn out.
Now how do I find a priest that will help me with this? What types of questions can you ask a priest that based off his answers, will indicate that he just won’t brush you off and say “Oh just go to confession and keep praying.” I’ve done every stinkin’ thing I can think of that I personally can do.
I am scared and I want to stop obsessing over all these things that happened. I have to forgive these people but I can’t get past this hatred and disgust I feel for them. Telling me to “give it to Christ” is a heck of a lot easier said than done and has never worked for me in the past.
Has anyone ever experienced this and what was a good start point for you in finding a spiritual director and/or priest that helped you through this?
Fortunately, the One that never has His patience run out is Jesus.