Obeying my parents, or wrong impressions

[SplendidSt]

I’m the new Catholic concert in my family, confirmed this Year and it is such a blessing. My parents are protestants and they still go to the Baptist Church we all went to before I converted… My mother wanted me and all the family to be with her at the service there today because she’s from out of town for the break. Of course I went to mass first, and the homily was on obeying your parents and the holy family. Here’s what happened at the protestant service:
There is a tithes and offerings portion of the service and instead of having a collection plate passed, everyone gets up and walks to the front and puts money into the basket at the front table, so you end up going around in front of the whole church and then sitting down. My mom just gave me some money and put it in an envelope for offering, but told me to write my name on it as my offering. The fact is I didn’t want the church to think I was tithing or offering to them still, I listened any way and did it anyway so now the whole church saw me go up and place the envelope in the basket. I know it’s not really my money, but did I have any duty not to offer money at a protestant service in such a public manner? Knowing they’re writing down I gave offering?

 

[Catholic1954]

I don’t know what your Mom was thinking, but it’s not your church anymore or your money, don’t worry about. If someone contacts you from that church, thank them and tell them you were a visitor that day and are not interested in joining (or rejoining) them.

 

[Allegra]

Wow, that whole scenario is strange, but I don’t think you did anything wrong. It wasn’t even your money and it isn’t anyone else’s business. I think you’re good. Maybe your mom thought she was making a donation on your behalf? Maybe she hoped they would contact you and evangelize you? Who knows?

 

[pianistclare]

2 excellent replies.
BTW, our parish does this. People have to walk up to the altar to give their cash or envelopes. I hate it.

She probably is hoping they will send you info and you’ll return.
I think you did the right thing by not causing a scene.
God bless you.

 

[Indigo_Cardinal]

She may have been looking to avert a scene, actually. Some churches can put a lot of pressure on tithing, and she may have figured if you were there, and didn’t tithe, it’d be a big fuss. So she figured she’d give you the money, put your name on it, and let you put it in the basket, and nobody could say a word about you not tithing.

 

[robwar]

She may have been looking to avert a scene, actually. Some churches can put a lot of pressure on tithing, and she may have figured if you were there, and didn’t tithe, it’d be a big fuss. So she figured she’d give you the money, put your name on it, and let you put it in the basket, and nobody could say a word about you not tithing.

All good replies. I think this one is closer to the truth of why your mother gave you money to put in. What an awful pressure to put on people to give by having people go up front and drop in their money. Then everyone knows who gave etc. Just be thankful you do not go to a Church like that.

 

[robwar]

2 excellent replies.
BTW, our parish does this. People have to walk up to the altar to give their cash or envelopes. I hate it.

She probably is hoping they will send you info and you’ll return.
I think you did the right thing by not causing a scene.
God bless you.

That is real strange for a Catholic Church to do something like this. I’ve seen kids bring up food type items for the pantry but this sound very strange indeed.

 

[1ke]

You didn’t do anything wrong.

For future reference, adults are not expected to OBEY parents. Obedience cease with emancipation. Respect yes, obey no.

 

[pianistclare]

That is real strange for a Catholic Church to do something like this. I’ve seen kids bring up food type items for the pantry but this sound very strange indeed.

it is. I think it was begun by someone years back as a way to shame people into giving weekly.
Doesn’t work, btw. :coffeeread:

Myself? I give electronically. But then they made up big laminated cards that say
I GIVE ELECTRONICALLY.


Still not walkin up there…

but, I digress…

 

[recentrevert]

Assuming you do not live in your parents’ home, you have no obligation to obey them. You should have refused to attend the Protestant service, as to participate in a Protestant service can often be the sin of false worship, and besides which it gives scandal.

Exceptions to this are weddings and funerals, when it should be clear that you are only going out respect for the couple or the deceased, and approved ecumenical services for the purpose of bringing Christians together (i.e. bringing Protestants into the Church).

You appearedto give illicit material co-operation to the Protestants by helping with their finances and gave others the impression that you were participating in the service and wanted to help their church; This gives others the impression that you do not believe the teachings of your own Church, that there is no salvation for Protestants except those who are joined to the Church through an implicit faith, perfect love of God and invincible ignorance. Attending Protestant services is also an occassion of sin.

 

[SplendidSt]

Assuming you do not live in your parents’ home, you have no obligation to obey them. You should have refused to attend the Protestant service, as to participate in a Protestant service can often be the sin of false worship, and besides which it gives scandal.

Exceptions to this are weddings and funerals, when it should be clear that you are only going out respect for the couple or the deceased, and approved ecumenical services for the purpose of bringing Christians together (i.e. bringing Protestants into the Church).

You appearedto give illicit material co-operation to the Protestants by helping with their finances and gave others the impression that you were participating in the service and wanted to help their church; This gives others the impression that you do not believe the teachings of your own Church, that there is no salvation for Protestants except those who are joined to the Church through an implicit faith, perfect love of God and invincible ignorance. Attending Protestant services is also an occassion of sin.

I do still live with my parents when I come back home from university. I am very strong in my faith and most members of the Protestant church are aware of my recent conversion. I’m not really hiding it either though, some do know in the church, including the pastor there, we had a great and interesting conversation about my conversion, but he understands I’ve chose Catholicism. I don’t think I could have caused a scene in the rush of things, I did wisper a few times to my mother that I don’t go to the Protestant church anymore. She insisted and handed me the envelope and because it wasn’t really my money I didn’t know what to do. In the end it’s not the mass, It’s a protestant Christian gathering of a faith community. I usually don’t go to this service, it’s just to honor my moms wish that I visit this time. I understand your point though. It is permitted we visit a protestant service albeit we don’t do this in place of the mass and/or become involved.

 

[1ke]

Assuming you do not live in your parents’ home, you have no obligation to obey them.

An adult is not obliged to OBEY parents even if they are living in the home. They should be respectful, and certainly comply with “house rules”, but they are not obliged to “obey” parents in the area of their choice of career, spouse, and certainly not following their conscience in worship.

You should have refused to attend the Protestant service, as to participate in a Protestant service can often be the sin of false worship, and besides which it gives scandal.

Methinks you have not read the Church documents on ecumenism. This is not correct-- the OP did not commit a sin by attending the Protestant service while home for Christmas. The OP clearly indicated they met their Mass obligation first.

You appearedto give illicit material co-operation to the Protestants by helping with their finances and gave others the impression that you were participating in the service and wanted to help their church; This gives others the impression that you do not believe the teachings of your own Church, that there is no salvation for Protestants except those who are joined to the Church through an implicit faith, perfect love of God and invincible ignorance. Attending Protestant services is also an occassion of sin.

While this is your opinion, it is NOT Church teaching.