I
ineeda
Guest
My mother is 92 and has dementia. She has quite limited mobility. During the winter months and winter, I definitely would not even consider taking her to mass. Recently, I have taken her to mass a few times, since the weather has been nice. She used to pray daily, and attended mass weekly. However, since her cancer treatment, five years ago(cured now), she quit going. She had a deacon that brought communion to her every week. I was always willing to take her, but she did not care to go. Mass was too early for her. Recently, I started going on Saturdays, as I now request not to work on Sat. afternoons. Originally, my request was to make sure I got my ten year-old grandson to mass. (however, I have been unable to get him to go with me - another story) But, since the weather has been nice, my mother was willing to go with me on Saturday evening.
It dawned on me that I should have been encouraging my mother to go more with me. Even if she says that she does not want to go, I should convince her to go with me. It is her dementia that does not want to go. Today, I told her that we need to wash her hair, and she said that she did not want to wash it. I told her that we could do it, later, and go to church in the morning. But, I don’t know if she will be up early enough. It will be difficult to get her to go in the morning.
It occurred to me, today, am I sinning by not making sure that I get her there? I returned to church about five years ago, after being gone for many years. I have been going weekly, and sometimes during the week when I can. It is difficult to take her, and exhausting for me. But, I take her out to other places, such as the park, or out to the store. It is not easy, but I hate to see her sit in the chair all day, just watching tv.
She is quite apathetic. And, I know that she does not even really understand the mass, anymore. She does watch it on EWTN daily. However, strangely, she does not pray anymore. Sometimes, I will hear her praying a bit out loud with the tv. I put her rosary out next to her, but she does not say it along with tv. I even sat down with her, saying it out loud with Mother Angelica on tv. She has fallen asleep. It is so sad to see her like this, as she used to be a prayer warrior. Perhaps, it was her rosary that brought me back to church.
Our deacon has retired, and she does not get weekly communion, anymore. We just started with Eucharistic ministers at our church. I don’t think they have a group organized yet, to go to homebound. But, if I manage to take her anywhere else, then I should be getting her to church. I am the only one in my family that goes to church, so I don’t get much support from others. It would be so much easier, if I had someone to help me with her. I drop her off, and get out walk with her to door.(causing other cars behind me to wait until she gets in. And, she has a slow shuffle) Then, I go park the car. Sometimes, people get irate. Our parking lot is not handicapped friendly.
Sorry, I got so winded, here.
It dawned on me that I should have been encouraging my mother to go more with me. Even if she says that she does not want to go, I should convince her to go with me. It is her dementia that does not want to go. Today, I told her that we need to wash her hair, and she said that she did not want to wash it. I told her that we could do it, later, and go to church in the morning. But, I don’t know if she will be up early enough. It will be difficult to get her to go in the morning.
It occurred to me, today, am I sinning by not making sure that I get her there? I returned to church about five years ago, after being gone for many years. I have been going weekly, and sometimes during the week when I can. It is difficult to take her, and exhausting for me. But, I take her out to other places, such as the park, or out to the store. It is not easy, but I hate to see her sit in the chair all day, just watching tv.
She is quite apathetic. And, I know that she does not even really understand the mass, anymore. She does watch it on EWTN daily. However, strangely, she does not pray anymore. Sometimes, I will hear her praying a bit out loud with the tv. I put her rosary out next to her, but she does not say it along with tv. I even sat down with her, saying it out loud with Mother Angelica on tv. She has fallen asleep. It is so sad to see her like this, as she used to be a prayer warrior. Perhaps, it was her rosary that brought me back to church.
Our deacon has retired, and she does not get weekly communion, anymore. We just started with Eucharistic ministers at our church. I don’t think they have a group organized yet, to go to homebound. But, if I manage to take her anywhere else, then I should be getting her to church. I am the only one in my family that goes to church, so I don’t get much support from others. It would be so much easier, if I had someone to help me with her. I drop her off, and get out walk with her to door.(causing other cars behind me to wait until she gets in. And, she has a slow shuffle) Then, I go park the car. Sometimes, people get irate. Our parking lot is not handicapped friendly.
Sorry, I got so winded, here.
