Obscene mail

[Gordon_Sims]

When the mailman arrived today our son went to the door to get it. Instead of bringing it in and handing it to me, he just stood there looking at one piece of mail, then started fumbling with it not nearly as nonchalantly as he was hoping to be. I told him to give me the mail, which led to some stammering. He finally handed it over. The piece he’d been fumbling with was an ad with coupons for an “adult” store. I’d say it bordered on pornographic, although you could easily argue that one of the images crossed the line (it’s not something you’d be allowed to show in an PG-13 movie, and likely not even an R), while much of the language did as well.

After our son left for school, I called the store and asked how I got on their mailing list (it was addressed to “Current Resident”) and if they could take me off. The manager told me that they send them out randomly and that if you’ve ever agreed to be put on a mailing list for anything, you could end up on theirs. He said that the marketing company they deal with purchases addresses from other retailers and they pull addresses from those lists. He agreed to send my name to their corporate office to be removed from the list, then tried giving me a sales pitch to get me to come into their store, despite me making it clear that I wasn’t interested.

After getting off the line with him, I went from being annoyed to angry. I don’t get too worked up over junk mail, but this was something I definitely didn’t want in my mailbox, especially with kids around. I called the USPS and they said I could fill out a form 1500 to avoid receiving sexually oriented advertising. They told me they had no idea how I could have ended up on that company’s mailing list but then said it was probably because I’d either made a purchase from or given my details to a similar business recently (neither of which have I done).

I’m still not entirely satisfied with the explanation of how I got on the mailing list. This also wasn’t an isolated incident; I received a catalog for an adult video store a couple months ago and one from Playboy right before Christmas, both of which were addressed to “Current Resident.” If today’s mail had been the only thing we’d received then I might have found the manager’s explanation to be plausible, but since this is three things in less than three months, I have a hard time believing that my address somehow fit the demographics for all three companies. I’ll be asking my son later if signed up for anything like this online. Another possibility is that a family member did it for his “benefit.” Regardless, I wanted to mention the 1500 form in case anyone else runs into this, and see if this is something anyone else has dealt with.

 

[Ophelia23]

We had something very similar happen in our home when I was growing up. My parents were outraged over a mailing we received that was terribly risque. Bordering on obscene. My mother went through a similar range of angry calls like you have gone through. But, it turned out that one of my brothers had gotten into some things he shouldn’t have on the (brand new at the time) internet. She was so displeased to learn of the source, but there WAS a source.

I’m sorry you had to go through this frustration. I hope you do not get any more mailings of this nature!

 

[dshix]

When the mailman arrived today our son went to the door to get it. Instead of bringing it in and handing it to me, he just stood there looking at one piece of mail, then started fumbling with it not nearly as nonchalantly as he was hoping to be. I told him to give me the mail, which led to some stammering. He finally handed it over. The piece he’d been fumbling with was an ad with coupons for an “adult” store. I’d say it bordered on pornographic, although you could easily argue that one of the images crossed the line (it’s not something you’d be allowed to show in an PG-13 movie, and likely not even an R), while much of the language did as well.

After our son left for school, I called the store and asked how I got on their mailing list (it was addressed to “Current Resident”) and if they could take me off. The manager told me that they send them out randomly and that if you’ve ever agreed to be put on a mailing list for anything, you could end up on theirs. He said that the marketing company they deal with purchases addresses from other retailers and they pull addresses from those lists. He agreed to send my name to their corporate office to be removed from the list, then tried giving me a sales pitch to get me to come into their store, despite me making it clear that I wasn’t interested.

After getting off the line with him, I went from being annoyed to angry. I don’t get too worked up over junk mail, but this was something I definitely didn’t want in my mailbox, especially with kids around. I called the USPS and they said I could fill out a form 1500 to avoid receiving sexually oriented advertising. They told me they had no idea how I could have ended up on that company’s mailing list but then said it was probably because I’d either made a purchase from or given my details to a similar business recently (neither of which have I done).

I’m still not entirely satisfied with the explanation of how I got on the mailing list. This also wasn’t an isolated incident; I received a catalog for an adult video store a couple months ago and one from Playboy right before Christmas, both of which were addressed to “Current Resident.” If today’s mail had been the only thing we’d received then I might have found the manager’s explanation to be plausible, but since this is three things in less than three months, I have a hard time believing that my address somehow fit the demographics for all three companies. I’ll be asking my son later if signed up for anything like this online. Another possibility is that a family member did it for his “benefit.” Regardless, I wanted to mention the 1500 form in case anyone else runs into this, and see if this is something anyone else has dealt with.

Porn stores are devoid of courtesy. They will do anything possible to get their filth to everyone possible.

Don’t be angry at anyone but the store; they probably found your address on some site or form which had nothing whatsoever to do with pornography, and put you on their list. No one but the store itself, and its affiliates, are at fault.

 

[Catholic1954]

Be sure you go down to the Post Office and fill out that form. Have you lived there long? It could be that a previous resident was on the mailing list since it was not addressed to a particular person.

 

[maltmom]

Here’s a link to Form 1500 that you can print out and bring to the post office.

about.usps.com/forms/ps1500.pdf

 

[SuperLuigi]

Porn stores are devoid of courtesy. They will do anything possible to get their filth to everyone possible.

I’d say that Hollywood and Broadway are much more proactive, and religious and conservative Americans lap up the trash they dish out.

 

[Ophelia23]

Be sure you go down to the Post Office and fill out that form. Have you lived there long? It could be that a previous resident was on the mailing list since it was not addressed to a particular person.

This is a really good point, too!

 

[Gordon_Sims]

We’ve been here the better part of two decades so it’s not from the previous owners. I’ve received a lot of junk mail in the past after signing up for baby registries and things like that, but those were always addressed to me or my wife, and were related to whatever either of us had signed up for. I really doubt that our address was somehow just picked out of a hat, especially with the other two pieces of mail we received recently. It could be due to something our son did, although it could also be something a family member has done. One in particular was upset when I told him he couldn’t get my son a subscription to Playboy for his birthday, then threatened to “anonymously” get him a subscription to an even worse magazine. I’d hope that’s not the case, but regardless of the cause I’ll be filing the 1500 form as soon as I’m able.

 

[Ophelia23]

We’ve been here the better part of two decades so it’s not from the previous owners. I’ve received a lot of junk mail in the past after signing up for baby registries and things like that, but those were always addressed to me or my wife, and were related to whatever either of us had signed up for. I really doubt that our address was somehow just picked out of a hat, especially with the other two pieces of mail we received recently. It could be due to something our son did, although it could also be something a family member has done. One in particular was upset when I told him he couldn’t get my son a subscription to Playboy for his birthday, then threatened to “anonymously” get him a subscription to an even worse magazine. I’d hope that’s not the case, but regardless of the cause I’ll be filing the 1500 form as soon as I’m able.

Oh my goodness, that’s awful!

 

[Dandelion_Wine]

I used to work for a catalog place. We’d buy lists and sell lists all the time. Even though it’s more likely for them to buy a list from a similar type business, there’s no reason why they couldn’t buy any old list and solicit.

I didn’t know about the USPS form though. I haven’t had your issue buy that might be a great pro-active thing to do!

 

[Gordon_Sims]

Oh my goodness, that’s awful!

The same family member signed me up to received pornographic texts when I complained about one he sent. I pointed out that I don’t look at porn and don’t text (no data or text plan), so not only was I offended but it cost me money to see his message (I had no idea what the content was before opening it). He signed me up for the texts to “teach me a lesson.”

The main problem I see with the 1500 form is that you have to file one for everyone 18 and over to get it to apply to the whole family. You’d think that, as homeowner, I’d be able to file a single form and have it apply to my address, but it doesn’t work that way. I’ll have my wife & son fill out their own forms before I head to the post office Monday.

 

[suko]

Wow… that is not a very nice family member u have there…

 

[garn9173]

He said that the marketing company they deal with purchases addresses from other retailers and they pull addresses from those lists.

The person you spoke to is correct, that’s how the list rental industry works.

They told me they had no idea how I could have ended up on that company’s mailing list but then said it was probably because I’d either made a purchase from or given my details to a similar business recently (neither of which have I done).

I’m still not entirely satisfied with the explanation of how I got on the mailing list. This also wasn’t an isolated incident; I received a catalog for an adult video store a couple months ago and one from Playboy right before Christmas, both of which were addressed to “Current Resident.”

Did you recently register for anysort of promotional give away? Free groceries from your local grocery store? Free gas? When you do so, you are registering with a third party (not the retailer) and in the fine print, you consent to have your name and address used for “promotional purposes”.

Even if you have a magazine subscription, unless you opt out, your name and address WILL BE sold to companies who think you will be interested in their product simply based on your subscription.

 

[Gordon_Sims]

Even if you have a magazine subscription, unless you opt out, your name and address WILL BE sold to companies who think you will be interested in their product simply based on your subscription.

We have quite a few magazine subscriptions, most of which we just started in the last few months thanks to the magazine subscription sale at our daughters’ school. I’d hope they wouldn’t be the ones selling our info. I can’t think of anything else we’ve signed up or registered for recently.

 

[maryjk]

You would be surprised at who sells your name.

More than 20 years ago, when I got married, I added my husband to my car insurance policy. (We got a better rate to add him to mine, rather than adding me to his.) When they did it, they messed up my name. They added “Jr.” from his name to mine. So the policy read Mrs. maryjk, jr.

We had if fixed right away.

To this day, I still get junk mail with my name and “Jr” after it. So, in the short time they had my name wrong, they sold that list, and it is still out there. And this is a nationwide insurance company. Guess, maybe, I wasn’t in good hands after all?

 

[dshix]

You would be surprised at who sells your name.

More than 20 years ago, when I got married, I added my husband to my car insurance policy. (We got a better rate to add him to mine, rather than adding me to his.) When they did it, they messed up my name. They added “Jr.” from his name to mine. So the policy read Mrs. maryjk, jr.

We had if fixed right away.

To this day, I still get junk mail with my name and “Jr” after it. So, in the short time they had my name wrong, they sold that list, and it is still out there. And this is a nationwide insurance company. Guess, maybe, I wasn’t in good hands after all?

That’s really interesting!

Well, there’s an advertising agency for you…

 

[garn9173]

We have quite a few magazine subscriptions, most of which we just started in the last few months thanks to the magazine subscription sale at our daughters’ school. I’d hope they wouldn’t be the ones selling our info. I can’t think of anything else we’ve signed up or registered for recently.

Magazine Publisher’s can and they do sell subscriber names and addresses. Just call the customer service number listed in the magazine’s you subscribe to and request that your name and address not be sold.

 

[Joe_5859]

One in particular was upset when I told him he couldn’t get my son a subscription to Playboy for his birthday, then threatened to “anonymously” get him a subscription to an even worse magazine.

The same family member signed me up to received pornographic texts when I complained about one he sent. I pointed out that I don’t look at porn and don’t text (no data or text plan), so not only was I offended but it cost me money to see his message (I had no idea what the content was before opening it). He signed me up for the texts to “teach me a lesson.”

To me, this answers your question about the source. If you have a family member who has done such things in the past, it seems like the most likely point of origin. Not to jump to conclusions or anything…

The fact that you got three separate mailings indicates that the first place sold your address to the second place and the third place (or the second place sold your address to the third place).

I didn’t know that it was legal for purveyors of porn to send out mail like that. It’s good to know there is recourse you can take.

 

[Holly3278]

I am sorry to hear that this has happened to you. I believe that what the store told you is true. Sometimes other companies sell mailing lists to other companies. But then again, if that is really the case, you would think that the post office would have known that.

 

[Gordon_Sims]

To me, this answers your question about the source. If you have a family member who has done such things in the past, it seems like the most likely point of origin. Not to jump to conclusions or anything…

I didn’t want to jump to conclusions about him, either, but he’s made other threats along these lines. Regardless of our reactions to the contrary, he thinks he’s being funny or even helpful (because, you know, it’s not natural for a young guy to not have free access to porn). While I can’t definitively say it was him, you’d think that if it came from someone selling our address these things would have been addressed directly to us and not “current resident.”

I didn’t know that it was legal for purveyors of porn to send out mail like that. It’s good to know there is recourse you can take.

I was really shocked by this one. The envelope for the catalog was pretty nondescript and didn’t have anything to alert you to its contents other than a small disclaimer on the bottom about sexually oriented material, and the Playboy subscription thing was pretty tame, showing less skin than the Sports Illustrated offers we’ve received in the past (those always came shortly after we got new magazine subscriptions and were always addressed to me). The ad from the porn store got as close to nudity as you can get, with the models in very unchaste poses. I won’t even try to describe the worst image, other than to say that if a shot like that was in a movie, I could see it resulting in an NC-17 rating.

The thing that bothers me about the form, at least from what I’ve read on it, is that if my son at any point would sign up for or order something on his own, we could start receiving this stuff again. Based on that, even if that family member isn’t to blame this time around, if he’d order something in my son’s name, I think we’d still end up getting these things again. Luckily, at least during the school year, our kids usually aren’t home when the mail arrives so we can screen it pretty effectively.