Obsession with material things

[Gardenman]

I really didn’t know which forum in which to post this, so if the admins. want to relocate it, that’s perfectly fine.

My concern is how so many people I know are just living day to day to pay for their material possessions, while their families seem so “dis-connected” from each other. I’m also referring to unmarried people who DON’T have others dependant on them but are always chasing material goods.

Perhaps I’m loonie or something, but I honestly don’t care about material “things”. I do NOT come from a family with money, but we weren’t poverty stricken either. We had enough for the basics, and that was about it. I am currently in the same position. I have a roof over my head, food to eat, and a car to drive…none of which could even remotely be considered lavish, or excessive, etc. Quite the opposite. And, I’m perfectly content with that.

Every day, I see people getting totally stressed out about money. Granted, we are in a bad economy, but it seems I am surrounded with people who live beyond their means and feel some sort of need to constantly have “bigger, better, and more more more”. They never seem to be satisfied with what they have. Bigger cars, bigger houses, nicer clothes, longer vacations, more high tech “toys” ad nauseum.

This continuing quest for material gain has taken over their lives and the lives of their families. I find it sad and disheartening that so many people think they can only be happy when they are surrounded by possessions. What they have never seems to be “enough” and nothing is ever “good enough”.

Where and when does it ever end ? I see so many of these families that have no “connection” with each other. Yes, they have all the trappings of nice comfortable lives, but the children don’t seem to spend enough time with mommy and daddy, The children do not appear to be happy at all. There is this underlying tension in these “showcase” homes that you could cut with a knife. Kids who just constantly want more, better, and pretty soon that’s not enough. Then there’s the social “competition” which also never seems to end.

Conversely, I know numerous families that are at poverty level who have tighter knit, more loving relationships with each other than their wealthier counterparts. Yes, they struggle to make ends meet, but they seem infinitely happier with what they DO have and the people around them. Their children place higher values on things, and overall seem better “adjusted” in the greater scheme of things. I’ve observed them just having a regular day at the beach absolutely loving it, vs. these privelged spoiled kids who are sullen, mean and treat everything as if it’s disposable…with their trendy clothes, expensive cars, their ipods, cell phones, etc.

No real point to this thread, just wondering what others think.
Don’t people realize that you “can’t take it with you” ???

 

[shondrea]

I know how you feel. I grew up in a lower working class country-livin’ family. We have a modest house, lots of land, and I can remember only one summer where we went truly hungry. I lived in Hand Me Downs, then learned to sew. Fast food, movies, new things, those were rare treats, and were very appreciated.

I’m 19 now, in prime materialistic age, yet…it’s not very important to me. As a girl yeah, I love getting new clothes, for exampl. But I shop at Goodwill after donating a good chunk of my wardrobe. Or sew myself a new skirt.

I make my own fun. My best friend and I are glued at the hip from Saturday to Monday, and you know how we entertain ourselves all weekend? We make up stories. Adventure stories, fantasies, kings and knights and wizards, love stories, comedies, struggling with morals and making right choices, angels and ghost stories and… I could go on. Point is, we could do this for literally HOURS on end and never get bored. And it’s free. We occasionally go see a movie or go grab ice cream, but usually? we’re much happier giggling away in my bedroom, spending time together.

Of course, there are times I have my eye on new things. I could list off a lot of things I’d like to have. But most of them, in a few weeks I’ll realize, I don’t really need. And if time goes by and it still IS something I’d like to have, I save for it. A few dollars each week. I literally bought my stereo/CD player through my Piggy Bank, and my iPod pulling extra hours at work. I could have gotten a fancy touch screen iPod, but I was perfectly content with a muuuch cheaper shuffle.

I’d love to have a giant tv, but not for the reasons you may think. I’m visually impaired, and quite literally can’t see the screen without sitting in the middle of the floor. I’ve always wondered what it was like to be able to read the Jeopardy questions while sitting on the couch. And, I have MORE than enough money to buy one, but…I don’t need one.

ANYway, my point is, although there are plenty of things I think might be nice to have, I know truly, I don’t need them. I’m happy with what I have, and I love getting crafty to make up for what i don’t (do you have any idea how many times I’ve super-glued some of my stuff together, just to avoid getting a new one? XD)

However, my family is not one to use as an example. Few of us have ever been close. We barely know anything about each other. I don’t even know my brother’s birthdays, and I don’t think they know how to spell my name

 

[EliasAdam]

To this I can only say 2 things. First I quote the words of Our Lord:

"For what shall it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, and suffer the loss of his soul?"

Second, here’s some scary math:

The best advice I can offer anyone is simple. Get rid of your television. Throw it away. Smash it. Destroy it. I haven’t had one in 8 years. Think about it. 1 hour a day x 365 days a year = 365 hours/24 = 15.2 days a year. That’s 15 days of 24 hours. If you count the time you spend sleeping and eating, etc. you actually will spend an entire month each year watching television if you average 1 hour a day. One TV show I hear a lot about (which I can honestly say I’ve NEVER watched) should be called American Idle, not American Idol.

Now I’ll take the math a bit further:

15.2 days a year x 50 years = 760 days/365 = 2.08 YEARS!!! (again that’s years counting 24/7) so you can multiply that by 2 and get 4.16 years of your life sitting in front of a television. I don’t know about you but I can get an awful lot of stuff done in 4 years.

All that by averaging just ONE measley hour of TV a day.

This will greatly help to break people of their “materialistic” views, and I promise you something, you’ll be healthier and happier for doing it.

 

[shondrea]

thinks Most of what I watch are DVD’s, and 9 times out of ten, I have those going on in the background while I’m painting or drawing. with just sitting down specifically to watch something, it’s one hour a week, and I haven’t seen that show in months, I’ll just buy the DVD’s.

 

[philippaul]

There is nothing wrong with enjoying certain things. One of you made a great example, if you want something and decide it will give you a certain measure of joy, then go ahead and save up for it and buy it. It’s just never a good idea to spend more than you make or more than you have. I have bought things on credit (lifestyle-related) and NEVER enjoyed them. They ended up being a burden.

I am extremely blessed to make decent money yet I have decided to drive a beat-up car. It gives me a certain satisfaction driving into the company parking lot with my worn-out 2003 Ford Focus – believe me it looks really bad. We can enjoy some nice clothes, electronics, appliances, vacations, etc. but it’s important to make sure once we’re above the bare necessities (food, housing, basic clothing) that we do give to the right places (your church and people in need). After that, it is ok to enjoy the fruits of your labor. Just remember these things even when bought with the best motives never truly fully satisfy. Remember that our treasure is in heaven.

 

[EliasAdam]

thinks Most of what I watch are DVD’s, and 9 times out of ten, I have those going on in the background while I’m painting or drawing. with just sitting down specifically to watch something, it’s one hour a week, and I haven’t seen that show in months, I’ll just buy the DVD’s.

I hope you didn’t misunderstand me. I was not trying to “preach” at you specifically. I was simply answering the implied question asked in the title and body of the original post on this thread, “Why are so many people so materialistic?”, and I think the answer is simple….television. It’s hard for most people to realize that the lifestyles portrayed on TV are usually not real. People begin to think that they are and therefore assume that they simply must have this or that material thing.

TV, like alcohol, can be very addictive. Alcohol is a good analogy to use here. Some people (myself included) have no problem with alcohol. I drink an average of 3 glasses of wine a week. It doesn’t bother me a bit. For certain people, on the other hand, that’s a no-no. They simply cannot handle it and are easily driven to excess. Their only recourse is to abstain completely from it. TV is similar, but I believe it’s MORE addictive and affects more people. I was one of these people. A “TVaholic”, if you will, and the only cure was to rid myself of the influence. If you can manage only 1 hour a week that is commendable, most people could not say the same.

 

[shondrea]

Oh…no! I wasn’t implying anything like that at all! I’m sorry if it sounded as such! i was just sort of thinking out loud at your post!

I get bored and restless watching tv most of the time anymore. When I’m dog tired, I might flick through to search for a couple programs, but it’s rare. I have to be DOING something if the television is on. I like music channels, and habing CMT playing Shania Twain in the background while I’m doing dishes

I agree though, that television watching takes up way too much of our time, though truth be told, the internet is a much bigger trap for me! I can go quite a while without an incling to turn on the tv, but checking emails is part of my daily routine!

 

[Lycorth]

I have to agree with the OP, and this is really a very fitting thread for the Traditionalist section. The more things you own, the more things own you.

I never fail to feel a sense of satisfaction whenever I rid my home of things I don’t really need, or refrain from making purchases that seem titillating at the moment but aren’t actually important. The Franciscan discipline of simplicity has something to it and I try to learn from the example of Saint Francis and apply that to my daily life.

As for getting rid of the boob tube, it’s not as if you miss TV after awhile. I’ve went many period without TV in my life and I never regretted it. TV sets as monitors for DVD players to watch pleasant or even edifying movies on are another matter; even just canceling cable or dish service and getting rid of or not buying an HD reception box effectively does the same thing as throwing away the TV altogether these days. I rarely watch TV myself and I can’t say that wasting my life sitting in front of the indoctrination box is something I miss.

Less is more.

 

[Gardenman]

I’m really enjoying the responses to this thread. For a while, I thought I was the only one who didn’t watch TV regularly and bought every new high tech thing that came down the pike.
Very briefly, when I was a kid, I wished that our family had all the good “stuff” that my peers’ families “appeared” to be so happy with. We were the last people on the street to get a color tv. We never had a brand new car. Our house was not “designer decorated” and we didn’t have lavish Christmases (sp?) but I thought they were wonderful, I loved our house and the few nice things we had.
My mother came from money, but definitely didn’t marry into it…and it never bothered her a bit. She was quick to inform us how money doesn’t buy happiness and that the material things are just that: THINGS
She used to tell us how her father bought the best of everything money could buy and it never meant a thing. They had a terrible home life. Her father told her not to marry my dad because he’d never have money and be able to provide her with the life she was accustomed to. She married him anyway, and they were together for 59 years.

I have ONE sibling out of 6 that is VERY materialistic. She always acted like she was so “deprived” when we were all growing up. I never understood that at all. She and her husband are literally consumed with money and possessions. All they talk about is money…how much their current home is worth, the deal they got on a new car, where they’re going on vacation, how she buys designer dresses, ad nauseum.

They both left the Catholic Church after they were married. Now they’re “Christians”. (WHAT were they before??? ) Her husband is probably the most boring human being I’ve ever met. It’s all about “show” and so utterly pathetic. Their children were pulled out of schools every other year as they “traded up” as far as real estate goes. They move every three years or less…always to something more lavish and pretentious. Every time they move, we get photo’s of the entire place (LOTS of them…) and a note attached that says, “Be happy for us”.

Every time they relocate, she goes “church shopping”. I’ve met the people from these churches they join…they’re all equally consumed with money and possessions. Then they just move on to the next “church” and never hear from or see these “friends” anymore. She often says, “We don’t have long term friends like mom and dad had…like when we were growing up…” (What CAN’T she see here ??? )

How are we supposed to be “happy” for them when in two years or less, they’ll just get something more lavish and more pretentious? None of us are all that “impressed” anymore. It gets really old after a while.

I just don’t get it…and never will.
Everything to them is disposable and replaceable.

I think it’s very sad.

 

[Lamafacaja]

The most valuable things we own aren’t material. The most valuable things we possess are our spiritual goods; our faith, our grace, and our merit or value of our work. These are all we truly have. Material goods are here today, gone tomorrow. Nature is an Indian giver. Faith increases. Those who have will be given more, as Our Lord told us.

Mark 4:24 And he said to them: Take heed what you hear. In what measure you shall mete, it shall be measured to you again, and more shall be given to you. 25 For he that hath, to him shall be given: and he that hath not, that also which he hath shall be taken away from him.

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

No real point to this thread, just wondering what others think.
Don’t people realize that you “can’t take it with you” ???

Hate to sound New Age-y but I think the problem is people don’t know what they really want.

Now I’m one of those gamers who sorta prides himself in being an upstart video game critic. One way I show this is by having a sense of taste. I don’t just buy every new game that comes out in the market. I only pick what actually snags my attention. Once I do and if I like what I’ve picked, I then go on and ask myself, “What do I like about this game?” I try to rationalize the joy it brings me, highlight its good points, and (this is what makes it personal for me) see what inspiration I can get from playing it.

In short, I try to see if it’s what I really want.

I believe the same can be said with other things. I mean I may desire things such as gadgets, comics, certain DVDs of my favorite shows etc. However, on the flip-side, I’m not into cars (as long as I can get an easy ride ), don’t care how shabby my house looks, and heck I’m occasionally scorned for my baggy, don’t-give-a-hoot fashion sense. The thing is the listed former is what I want because well, that’s me! I’m a geek. I’m into those things. The rest though is not.

I think people really just need to think a little harder when they want something.

P.S.

Almost forgot.

As for the TV thing, I still have it and frankly I’m more hooked to what I find on the internet than anything I could enjoy on cable television. Ads aren’t even really a problem (except for the fact that they INTERRUPT ) since the truth is, they only control you if you let them.

You don’t have to buy. The choice still lies with you. Frankly I just roll my eyes whenever I see an ad for something I don’t give a slice of ham about (e.g. shampoo, food seasoning, and just recently, presidential campaign ads ).

 

[catblaine]

Oh what a nice topic!

I work in retail selling video games and I’ve seen the face of greed in so many people. I see people who are obviously less fortunate from others willing to spend $300-$500 when I am sure that money could better go towards raising their children. It is truly sad that people in this day and age try to live past their means. Why else do you think so many hundreds of thousands are in debt? Humans have turned into nothing but consumers.

I was fortunate growing up. I was very well off and looking back on it I was very spoiled. I spent hundreds of dollars on wasted things and only now am I kicking myself thinking all that money could probably help pay for a down deposit on a house. But at least I can look back and learn from my mistakes. Thankfully I got married about 3 years ago and my husband (God bless him) is one of the most devote/holy persons I have ever met. He has truly taught me how to un-attach myself from material things. But it definitely wasn’t easy! We found ourselves partaking in worldly things. We bought a nice flat screen tv with wedding funds, bought the latest next gen video game system, spent money on satellite, etc. It wasn’t until about a year ago that we realized our time was being wasted. We began to sell stuff. We canceled our satellite back in December and oh my gosh the things we have time to do!! Instead of spending our time watching tv, playing video games, and doing self-centered stuff we have become more productive.We pray more. We have become more active in our parish and offered a job as youth ministers. We are even trying to start a family.

Getting rid of material things will truly free up your life to let God work through you better! I was skeptic at first when my husband insisted we get rid of things, but now I have witnessed the wonderfulness of it! You may not have to be as extreme in selling your stuff but just remember that less is more! Christianity is all about sacrifice. So the next time you “want” a new something-or-other ask yourself if you actually “need” it. The few material things that we have in this life should lead us to Christ. So if it isn’t leading you anywhere than you might as well discard it. At least that’s what I think

Oh, also, this week in the OSV there is a great article about Greed. It goes great with this topic. Definitely worth reading.

 

[Lycorth]

Oh what a nice topic!

I work in retail selling video games and I’ve seen the face of greed in so many people. I see people who are obviously less fortunate from others willing to spend $300-$500 when I am sure that money could better go towards raising their children. It is truly sad that people in this day and age try to live past their means. Why else do you think so many hundreds of thousands are in debt? Humans have turned into nothing but consumers.

I was fortunate growing up. I was very well off and looking back on it I was very spoiled. I spent hundreds of dollars on wasted things and only now am I kicking myself thinking all that money could probably help pay for a down deposit on a house. But at least I can look back and learn from my mistakes. Thankfully I got married about 3 years ago and my husband (God bless him) is one of the most devote/holy persons I have ever met. He has truly taught me how to un-attach myself from material things. But it definitely wasn’t easy! We found ourselves partaking in worldly things. We bought a nice flat screen tv with wedding funds, bought the latest next gen video game system, spent money on satellite, etc. It wasn’t until about a year ago that we realized our time was being wasted. We began to sell stuff. We canceled our satellite back in December and oh my gosh the things we have time to do!! Instead of spending our time watching tv, playing video games, and doing self-centered stuff we have become more productive.We pray more. We have become more active in our parish and offered a job as youth ministers. We are even trying to start a family.

Getting rid of material things will truly free up your life to let God work through you better! I was skeptic at first when my husband insisted we get rid of things, but now I have witnessed the wonderfulness of it! You may not have to be as extreme in selling your stuff but just remember that less is more! Christianity is all about sacrifice. So the next time you “want” a new something-or-other ask yourself if you actually “need” it. The few material things that we have in this life should lead us to Christ. So if it isn’t leading you anywhere than you might as well discard it. At least that’s what I think

Oh, also, this week in the OSV there is a great article about Greed. It goes great with this topic. Definitely worth reading.

God bless your husband - and yourself - for seeing the truth about so many modern diversions.

The example of Saint Francis of Assisi is one truly for our ages. We can do without so much that we have in this world. I know I have much I can still cull from my life.

It makes me sad when I see so many Catholics, as well as non-Catholics, wasting so much time and money on frivolous bread-and-circus distractions while Western civilization continues its downward spiral. I know God will mend things, in His own time - the question is will He be as merciful as when He sent us Francis of Assisi or will He need to chasten us with something much harsher in order to break our materialist addictions and change us for the better?

Either way, I hope He does intervene.

Welcome to the forum, by the way!

 

[Bluegoat]

I think materialism has very clearly contributed to many ills in our society. A lady I know who attends a United Church near me had a guest from a very poor area of Africa visit their congregation. He told them the reason they had so many problems with faith and lack of joy in our society was that we were too rich. And I think there is real hard truth in this.

And materialism looks like it could well destroy us in other ways. Over-use of resources, all kinds of pollution, and so on are largely related to our over-consumption. All those McDonald’s Happy Meal toys, which are really just junk, use a lot of oil to make.

But - But - Western economies are dependent on over-consumption. Our economic model says that the economy must continue to grow to be successful. Our banks lend more money than they have - they depend on huge growth of the economy to be able to sustain themselves. Clearly this is a flawed model, since infinate growth is impossible, but that is what we’ve got, and I think we have some idea what kind of difficulties would come for people if it fails - maybe when it fails.

Materialism is partly so common because human nature always wants more. But we have positively encouraged it because the only way for the economy to keep growing is to have people consuming more. And once all our needs are met, it starts to be wants. Making wants into needs is a big deal from this perspective.

Governments actually push this agenda, because they are terrified at the possibility of the economy failing, reasonably so really. I have heard people, including on CAF, say that it is unpatriotic for Americans to eschew materialism! I know many Catholics here are suspicious of the environmental movement, but to me it very much ties in with this problem of materialism. What we need is what the planet can provide for us - when we start to use more than our share, it is a justice issue. And as the Church tells us, we don’t just consider the other people living now, we consider those not yet born as well.

There are things we could do to try to live within our means as individuals, and as a society. Live where we work. Build towns that do not require private transport, or use human-powered transport. Build products that are meant to be updated rather than thrown out, or even recycled. Europe is rather ahead of us in these things, I think because they are small and see very quickly that they have no clean water left, or no place to put trash. But really, even here is Canada we do not have so much space that we can afford to ignore these things.

And I think this could impact very powerfully on our souls, if we stopped allowing stuff to get between us and God.

 

[Lycorth]

But - But - Western economies are dependent on over-consumption. Our economic model says that the economy must continue to grow to be successful. Our banks lend more money than they have - they depend on huge growth of the economy to be able to sustain themselves. Clearly this is a flawed model, since infinate growth is impossible, but that is what we’ve got, and I think we have some idea what kind of difficulties would come for people if it fails - maybe when it fails.

I agree; it’s analogous to how empires tend to collapse under their own weight when the need to expand goes beyond their ability to administer and stabilize their nation. The financial empire of capitalist countries will fall eventually; I think we’re seeing the sad collapse of such even now. If infinite growth is a prerequisite for survival, there is a problem, as infinite growth of any material kind is impossible.

Governments actually push this agenda, because they are terrified at the possibility of the economy failing, reasonably so really. I have heard people, including on CAF, say that it is unpatriotic for Americans to eschew materialism! I know many Catholics here are suspicious of the environmental movement, but to me it very much ties in with this problem of materialism. What we need is what the planet can provide for us - when we start to use more than our share, it is a justice issue. And as the Church tells us, we don’t just consider the other people living now, we consider those not yet born as well.

It is a sad thing that we Americans are hooked on the notion that buying objects and spending money is important. It is one of the things that prevents us from applying real solutions to our nation. Why rock the boat as long as Walmart is still open and the 401Ks keep earning?

Financial “stability” is such a smokescreen.

There are things we could do to try to live within our means as individuals, and as a society. Live where we work. Build towns that do not require private transport, or use human-powered transport. Build products that are meant to be updated rather than thrown out, or even recycled. Europe is rather ahead of us in these things, I think because they are small and see very quickly that they have no clean water left, or no place to put trash. But really, even here is Canada we do not have so much space that we can afford to ignore these things.

And I think this could impact very powerfully on our souls, if we stopped allowing stuff to get between us and God.

Essentially, it is the Franciscan mentality applied to secular life. The less we own, the more we have in terms of cultural vitality and spiritual vigor. Too many possessions and too many earthly, materialistic goals distract the mind and clutter one’s soul. The Lord taught us to pray "…Give us this day our daily bread…" not to ask for more than we need. The Lord gave us more than just an outline of prayer as well as the best formulaic prayer we have, He gave us an outline of what we humans ought to want in this world. We are never exhorted towards material gain; it is as harmful as unrestrained sexual passion. Greed ruins as well as lust.

 

[Crumpy]

I hate all the talk on tv about “black Friday”, the day after thanksgiving. There is so much attention given to that, and how much people are spending on that day.

And, the rationale is always given that the stores have to stay in business, and that season is when they take in the most money.

I think a big problem is created in childhood, when children become possessive and greedy. They are lured with all the toy ads, and just even walking through the stores with their parents.

I have long ago learned to live with what I have. Even with a third of my former working income, I have all I need, all I want. I am even ashamed because I want so little. I can look through the Sunday newspaper ads and not find a single item that I want (or need). I am ashamed of all the things I bought over the years. Now, they surround me as if to accuse me of my own materialism.

I throw away food that I didn’t eat in the frig all the while I am buying more.

I fill up a trash container every week, and have 1 to 2 barrels of recycling stuff each week, year around. I have thousands of dollars of books that I’ve read, and thousands of dollars in books that I never got to. They’re also so old that they’re useless to anybody.

I bought the most expensive cameras on the market back in the 70’s and have barely put 200 rolls of film through them. I bought this expensive stereo equipment which got outmoded faster than I could have imagined. I have a collection of vinyl records with nothing to play them on.

Every closet in this house is filled with my mother’s clothes, none of which she wears or even cares about – but we can’t get rid of anything! She wears the same clothes every day, notwithstanding all the clothes that abound here.

It will be a sad day when she passes away, but I’m trying to develop a strategy to empty this house of all the junk. this is non-trivial because I’m getting arthritic, and I can’t just throw my back into this job and empty the house. Possessions become a hell in themselves.

I used to buy all this woodworking equipment so I could do all this neat stuff – except I filled up the house with furniture so fast, there isn’t room for anything else, if I made it. Now, I have all this woodworking equipment standing around, rusting. And, don’t forget the supply of wood I haven’t consumed, in 30 years.

I don’t think I’m materialistic, until I really think about it.

I always thought our house was small. I look around, and we have one of the largest houses in this area. There are houses nearby that are smaller than our garage.

One thing for sure, I spend a lot of time thanking God for all His graces, gifts, and blessings.