Obstacles to Conversion

[MickyR]

I’m coming up to my fifth year in the Catholic Church. Glory be to God that all my 6 children are Catholic however my wife and mother (who got me saved as a Pentecostal) remain as before:

Here are the reasons they won’t become Catholic:

1. My wife point blank refuses to read any Catholic book. She started reading ‘Will Catholics be Left Behind’ by Carl Olson but gave up after a few pages. She simply cannot bear to read a Catholic book.
2. Neither woman cares about the thousands of denominations in the evangelical ‘invisible’ church. It’s just not a problem for them.
3. Mary remains an overarching concern. My mother went berserk when I tried to explain the perpetual virginity of Mary. She sees it as the thin end of a wedge and probably prays every day that I won’t worship Mary.
4. Neither woman accepts biblical interpretations different from what they’ve been taught. At best they’ll acknowledge ‘difficult verses’ but conclude that they hold equally valid interpretations.
5. At least my mother has read some Catholic books that I’ve given her. However, she was outraged and scandalised by Karl Keating’s admission in ‘Catholicism & Fundamentalism’ that “he actually admits Catholics don’t just go by the Bible!”

My mother wept when we went round London’s Westminster Cathedral together at the body of St Robert Southwell. The poor man’s dismembered corpse is encased in steel on display in the Cathedral. My next step I think is to send her my biography of St Edmund Campion (by Evelyn Waugh). This book moved me to tears and contained quite a lot of aoplogetics.

The frustration of all this is very disheartening. What is the best approach. At the moment none of them really want to speak to me about this.

 

[Della]

It’s hard to help others see what they do not want to see. And the reasons why they do not want to see what you do are many and varied. I could go through a list of them, but I don’t know that it would really help you very much.

The only things that are going to get them to open up their hearts and minds are: the Holy Spirit and your example as a Catholic. It seems to me the Holy Spirit has opened a crack in your mother’s door through seeing the relics of St. Robert Southwell. Giving her a Evelyn Waugh’s book about St. Edward Campion seems a good idea. If your mother comes around to looking fairly in the Catholic Church it might help your wife let go of some of her fears and misconceptions too.

So, be patient, gentle, look for openings through which you can minister to them, and above all pray, pray, pray. I will remember you wife and mother in my prayers this evening and the next time I attend Mass. God bless you.

 

[Newbie2]

It’s hard to help others see what they do not want to see. And the reasons why they do not want to see what you do are many and varied. I could go through a list of them, but I don’t know that it would really help you very much.

The only things that are going to get them to open up their hearts and minds are: the Holy Spirit and your example as a Catholic. It seems to me the Holy Spirit has opened a crack in your mother’s door through seeing the relics of St. Robert Southwell. Giving her a Evelyn Waugh’s book about St. Edward Campion seems a good idea. If your mother comes around to looking fairly in the Catholic Church it might help your wife let go of some of her fears and misconceptions too.

So, be patient, gentle, look for openings through which you can minister to them, and above all pray, pray, pray. I will remember you wife and mother in my prayers this evening and the next time I attend Mass. God bless you.

Agreed. Mere words won’t do much. Example. Yup.

 

[jpjd]

Micky,

You can not force a conversion on your wife and your mother. That is the job of the Holy Spirit.

It sounds like you may need to back off a bit on your efforts to convert them, as it seems you have maybe been overbearing.

I think your goal should be broader than “conversion;” it should be “teaching.”

I think you should start with recommending that they read “Catholicism for Dummies.” Not to imply that they are dummies! But the book is a basic introduction to the Catholic faith, yet orthodox.

Once they have this basic understanding of the faith, I suggest a more “hands-on” approach, rather than giving them more books to read.

Invite them to attend Sunday Mass with you. Take them to the church during a weekday afternoon when no one is likely to be there, and give them a “tour.” Point out the altar, tabernacle, tabernacle light, the crucifix, statue of Mary and other saints your church might have, the devotional candles, the stations of the cross, the holy water fonts. As you show them each item, explain what the meaning of it is. Explain how to genuflect and why we do it, how to make the sign of the cross and why we do it.

Invite them to attend parish functions. Let them see what parish life is like.

Let them see how you live a life of holiness and joy in Christ.

The goal is to make Catholicism seem familiar and non-threatening to them, and let them get past their misconceptions. That will help open their hearts to the faith, which is needed for conversion.

And of course, pray for them. And let the Holy Spirit do the rest.

 

[joeybaggz]

Agreed. Mere words won’t do much. Example. Yup.

Ditto. Live your Catholic faith quietly, joyfully, patiently, and faithfully and learn all you can so that if and when the questions come, you have solid answers.

Be the “other” Bible that they read.

 

[MickyR]

I appreciate your remarks. One spanner in the works is my mum’s sister. She converted to Catholicism in the 1970’s and left after a decade with many tales of woe. The story goes that she even had ‘Catholic demons’ cast out when she too became Pentecostal. And supposedly devastated her parish priest with ‘biblical arguments’ as she went out the door. This poor lady is currently very, very ill.

Yeah, I need to back off at the moment and concentrate on prayer and holiness.

 

[ChrisWRIT]

The frustration of all this is very disheartening. What is the best approach. At the moment none of them really want to speak to me about this.

Hi Mickey,

I understand your frustration, but since they don’t want to talk about it, don’t.

Like everyone else, set a good example, teach your children our faith, answer any questions you do get from your mother & wife, & pray.

We can sometimes plant seeds, sometimes water, but only God makes things grow. Conversion is something only the Holy Spirit can do.

So, just pray for them.

St. Monica prayed for her son’s conversion (St. Augustine) for over 30 years before he came into the Church, & even my mom prayed for my thick skull for nearly 20 years before I finally came home.

You can also devote yourself to learning as much about the Church as possible, if nothing else to help teach your children so that they will be more able to explain their faith when they are questioned (& like all of us Catholics, they will be!)

If you haven’t heard of John Martignoni, I highly recommend his apologetic talks explaining the Catholic faith. You can order free CD’s or download them for free yourself from biblechristiansociety.com/download.

God bless, & don’t give up hope - just keep praying & learning as much as you can about our faith!

Chris

 

[CThomas]

I would also just add – to stick up for the non-Catholics around here – that this sort of situation is par for the course on all sides. The vast, vast majority of self-proclaimed, Catholics, Protestants, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, or anything else are what they are because that’s how they were raised and they have no interest in thinking about anything else. It’s not that Protestants are uniquely uninterested in seeking truth. Needless to say, the crowd who congregate on this web site are far from representative of people as a whole, because they are a self-selected group that comes here precisely because they are interested in theology, apologetics, etc.

Regards,

CThomas

 

[clmowry]

The frustration of all this is very disheartening. What is the best approach. At the moment none of them really want to speak to me about this.

I wish I had better advice to offer than the following, but it is all I’ve got.

Unfortunately, I think that you may be in the absolute worse position to try to convert your mother or you wife.

I think it would be like trying to teach your wife to do anything else, say swing a golf club?

It is usually best left to a professional and then the endeavor will only be successful if the student wants to learn to play the game.

Unfortunately, both your mother and your wife are going to be too intimately aware of your personal shortcomings. A condition from which those with competitive viewpoints (say their protestant pastor) will not suffer.

I mean my wife has seen me swing a golf club, why would she think I could teach her how to swing one properly. She is much more likely to listen to the pro, especially since he has been properly trained and she is likely never to have seen him hit a bad shot.

I would say your best bet is to Pray, Pray, Pray ,and live the best Catholic Life you know how to live.

Specifically I would pray not just for their conversion but that God would bring your wife and mother into contact with the other good Catholic women. Preferably, those who are very strong in their faith and with whom your wife/mother would have other shared interests.

Eventually the ladies will talk.

Chuck

 

[sires6]

I appreciate your remarks. One spanner in the works is my mum’s sister. She converted to Catholicism in the 1970’s and left after a decade with many tales of woe. The story goes that she even had ‘Catholic demons’ cast out when she too became Pentecostal. And supposedly devastated her parish priest with ‘biblical arguments’ as she went out the door. This poor lady is currently very, very ill.

Yeah, I need to back off at the moment and concentrate on prayer and holiness.

I would pray daily for your aunt, for sure! and then ask your Mum if you two together can pray some prayers together daily or every so often. I agree with the others. Invite them into your Catholic World and let them see how beautiful it is with the King, His Mother and His Family at dinner!

 

[Ted_in_Charlott]

I would also just add – to stick up for the non-Catholics around here – that this sort of situation is par for the course on all sides. The vast, vast majority of self-proclaimed, Catholics, Protestants, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, or anything else are what they are because that’s how they were raised and they have no interest in thinking about anything else.

Yes, I would agree that is the case. Usually, if you deeply embeded in your faith, it takes a momentous event to jolt you into a faith change. An example of living by heroic virtue can do just that.
OP, God bless you for caring enough about your family but God also give you the paitence to accept His timing.