Obstacles to "returning home" - feeling discouraged

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RoseMary131 said:
Have you made an appointment with your parish priest to ask about becoming a parishioner in this parish and for help with your “marriage situation in the Church?”

(Maybe if you start a thread here on your situation, someone will have the information you need.)

May God lead you to the right people to help in these important matters. God bless you.
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in this diocese, if you are not a member of a parish, then father will not talk to you. I have tried several parishes and got the same response. It is a lost cause. thank you anyway.
 
Wait, why would the husband need to seek an annulment, even though he’s not even Catholic?
 
CompSciGuy said:
Wait, why would the husband need to seek an annulment, even though he’s not even Catholic?
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If the non-Catholic has been married and divorced, the annulment process is to see if the person was in a valid marriage.

If it is declared by the Tribunal that the legal marriage was not a valid marriage then the Tribunal can grant the annulment.

With the annulment, the person is now “free to marry”.

Without an annulment, a legally divorce person is considered validly married - still married after the legal divorce - and thus “not free to marry.”

If a person has a legal marriage and legal divorce - then contracts another marriage without the annulment - in the “eyes of the Church and God” - the person is actually still considered married to the spouse they are divorce from - even though they now have a new legal marriage.

This “new” marriage is not considered a valid marriage.

With the non-Catholic spouse receiving an annulment from the previous marriage, the non- Catholic spouse is now free to marry. Now, they can have a convalidation of their marriage within the Church - are married in the Church.

(Note: The same applies to everyone: Catholic or non-Catholic. I only used “non-Catholic” to specifically answer the question posed.)
 
USS Nostromo;11188514 **We also cannot register at a parrish until my marriage situtation is settled. [/quote said:
(which cannot happen). so any hope of getting back to church is gone. so count your blessing that you can at least get back to church and work things out.

so don’t get discouraged. hang in there. keep working at it. I have faith that everything will workout for you and your husband.

???

I dont understand. You cant register? Why not?

My understanding is that you dont even have to be Catholic to register in a parish. When I registered in my parish, I wasnt in full communion.
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my wife is not baptized and considered a “heathen”. She would not be welcome in the church. and I believe I am being black balled for getting married outside the faith. by the way, we have been married for 25 years.
 
USS_Nostromo said:
my wife is not baptized and considered a “heathen”. She would not be welcome in the church. and I believe I am being black balled for getting married outside the faith. by the way, we have been married for 25 years.
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If joining the Catholic church is important to you and your wife, I would urge you to keep pushing ahead, as I am.

Long story short, this past Christmas my husband asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I had just lost my cradle Catholic father. I didn’t want material things, I wanted to be in mass on Christmas Eve, just like I used to be with my dad as a child. My husband (the Baptist) that hasn’t set foot in any church in probably 20 years joined me at Christmas mass and was graciously welcomed.

I know that my RCIA teacher (my husband’s friend) was not a baptized member of any church when he met his wife 25+ years ago. They wanted to be married in the Catholic church; it was the only way she would marry him. He walked very much the same path I am walking now, only I have the advantage of having been baptized in the church. He did have to get an annulment of his first marriage. He is now a very active member of the church.

There are many people here that are much more educated in Catholicism than I, but it would seem to me that if both you and your wife want to be Catholics and in full communion with the church, it can all be worked out. She can be baptized as an adult, she can take the classes, all the same things I’m doing. Someone correct me if I’m wrong, but it CAN be done. All you have to do is take that first step.

God Bless 🙂
 
Nostromo – my RCIA class has FIVE unbaptized persons, and no one is calling them “heathens.” In fact, everyone has welcomed them (they are attending Mass on Sunday) and I have heard no disparagement of their “unchurched” status.

Does your base have a Catholic chaplain? If it does, your wife may be able to attend RCIA there.
 
Nostromo – my RCIA class has FIVE unbaptized persons, and no one is calling them “heathens.” In fact, everyone has welcomed them (they are attending Mass on Sunday) and I have heard no disparagement of their “unchurched” status.

Does your base have a Catholic chaplain? If it does, your wife may be able to attend RCIA there.
 
USS_Nostromo said:
my wife is not baptized and considered a “heathen”. She would not be welcome in the church. and I believe I am being black balled for getting married outside the faith. by the way, we have been married for 25 years.
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Have you spoken to a priest recently? These sound like outdated attitudes or assumptions.
 
SuscipeMeDomine said:
Have you spoken to a priest recently? These sound like outdated attitudes or assumptions.
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That is my thought,too.

Very antiquated attitudes.

(edited to add after reading previous posts)

Tom, I understand that you have a serious hearing impairment, and I am guessing that that is causing some communication challenges.

Check to see if the diocese that you live in has a office that deals with those who have different needs based on “disability”. I know mine does.

I think the real obstacle you are facing is one due to communication more than anything.
God bless
 
kdkkdt said:
Thank you all for your kind words, your wisdom and your prayers.

As it turns out, shortly after I posted this thread I started crying in frustration, also praying hard.

My husband came in from chores and saw me crying. He insisted I tell him why I was crying, so I explained. He called me silly and said he is willing to do whatever it takes to make it possible for me to obtain full communion with the church, up to and including going through the process of getting an annulment of his first marriage. Whatever it takes.

I know I still have an uphill battle ahead of me, but I’m feeling stronger every day. 🙂
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OK, now you’ve made me cry. This is just another example of never EVER underestimating the power of prayer. He really does want usnto lay our burdens on Him. Oh my, God bless you, darlin’
 
first of all, let me say “I’m sorry” to kdkkdt. I only tried to cheer you and encourage you. You sounded so down, and I just wanted to let you know that you have a lot more going in your favor than I ever did. I wanted you to know that there are people, like myself, who are in worst position than you and not to give up. I did not mean to cause problems or hijack your post.

I was born and raised catholic. I should also let you know that I am deaf in both ears with a 80 % hearing loss. I do not know how to sign(not politely :D) I do wear hearing aids and it does allow me to hear some sounds and speech, but to carry on a conversation is difficult at best. I do lip read and that is how I am able to “hear”.

Also, I am not on any base, I just like the name Nostromo from a book I read as a child. It took me almost a month to sound it out so that I could say the name. I do and can speak, but i don’t as a rule. My wife and 3 boys talk to me by sitting next to me and speaking directly into my ear or hearing aids. so at least I can hear my wife and kids.

This is about you and your situation. I have faith that it will work out for you.
again, I am sorry if I cause any problems.
 
USS_Nostromo said:
first of all, let me say “I’m sorry” to kdkkdt. I only tried to cheer you and encourage you. You sounded so down, and I just wanted to let you know that you have a lot more going in your favor than I ever did. I wanted you to know that there are people, like myself, who are in worst position than you and not to give up. I did not mean to cause problems or hijack your post.

I was born and raised catholic. I should also let you know that I am deaf in both ears with a 80 % hearing loss. I do not know how to sign(not politely :D) I do wear hearing aids and it does allow me to hear some sounds and speech, but to carry on a conversation is difficult at best. I do lip read and that is how I am able to “hear”.

Also, I am not on any base, I just like the name Nostromo from a book I read as a child. It took me almost a month to sound it out so that I could say the name. I do and can speak, but i don’t as a rule. My wife and 3 boys talk to me by sitting next to me and speaking directly into my ear or hearing aids. so at least I can hear my wife and kids.

This is about you and your situation. I have faith that it will work out for you.
again, I am sorry if I cause any problems.
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You have no need to apologize and if you feel comfortable with posting on my thread, then you are most welcome to.
As it turns out we have something else in common. I lost roughly 70% my hearing two years ago due to a severe reaction to a seizure med. I don’t wear my hearing aids at home preferring the quiet, but do wear them in church and on the rare occasion when I leave the farm for a social meeting.
As someone has pointed out , the church is reaching out to those with physical barriers. Just last week in our church bulletin there was a note from the Diocese of Little Rock about expanding the options for the hearing impaired. If that’s possible in Arkansas, a state with only (I believe it’s) 4% Catholics, surely it’s available elsewhere?
All the best to you.
 
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