You are not alone brother. I am sure almost all good Catholic men have struggled with this, I know I did. I am also 30 years old and have been free of this sin for a bit over a year now, so have hope, it can be done. I think one of the keys to overcoming this is to not get down on yourself about it too much. I used to think I was a weak pathetic no good sinner and a huge hypocrite and I would feel deep shame. It was a horrible cycle, failure, resolve never to commit the sin again, eventually starting to feel good like I finally beat it, and then bam, I would fail again. Of course this is caused by our bodies to a large degree. The longer a man goes with out the harder it gets. Don’t worry though, you have a nocturnal emission and it get easier again, your guilt free, commited no sin, and God usually throws in a pleasant dream to boot.
Another point I would like to make is that this sin is not neccesarily Mortal. The Church recognizes the mitigating circumstances involved. For me, and probably for you too, it began with immaturity and then developed in to a full blown habit. These are 2 of the mitigating circumstances recognized by the Church. As long as your not willfully indulging in this knowing it is wrong then it is probably not a mortal sin, but as always before receiving communion you should carefully examine your conscience. You should also be very careful that you don’t trick yourself in to thinking you have some kind of loop hole because of this.
At our age, this comes down to a habit. Habits can be changed.
Dr. Harley:
Most people think that they have control over their behavior. They think they choose to do whatever it is they do. But many of us who have studied human behavior scientifically, and have tried to help people change their behavior, know differently. We know that the vast majority of what a person does is driven by instincts and habits – ways of behaving that are automatic and almost effortless. …Instincts often help habits develop…Instincts and habits are often inappropriate. …This is where our intelligence comes in handy. We can actually eliminate certain habits when we discover that they are ineffective in solving certain problems, and we can substitute effective habits… We can’t change our instincts, but we can short-circuit their approach to a problem. …Bad habits are hard to replace with good habits, especially when they are driven by instinct, but it can be done.
Now, from my experience, this is where it gets a bit harder. You must make a bigger commitment than simply to stop masturbating. You must actively resist every lustful thought you have, this is like putting out the little fires before they flare up and lead to masturbation. Remeber the Lord said that lusting is like commiting adultery with our heart. Obviously avoid pornography and any type of suggestive imagery, also do not allow your eyes to wander in day to day life. The less you indulge lustful thoughts, the less you will have them. When you see something arousing, try to think of how our Lord would see it. Usually my thoughts turn to sadness that a noble creature would objecitfy themselves and tempt others to the sin of lust. We must always think of women as noble, unique, and special creatures made in the image of God and not as sexual objects for our own pleasure. Of course pray about it too, only by God’s graces can we avoid sin. Don’t hate yourself when you fail, know that God will forgive you and keep trying to do your best. Eventually it gets easier as you learn these new habits and learn to change the way you think.
Good Luck and God Bless.
