Occult influences

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juliasmith said:
I have returned to the church after 20+ years of practicing and studying the occult. I used ouija boards, channeled, prayed to false gods, you name it. I did it.
I thought it would be simple to ‘go home’. But I am having serious trouble finding time to pray. I get so distracted when I do get to pray or read my bible. Going to mass is becoming a real struggle. I love going to mass. But the last couple of weeks I get headaches or don’t feel very well. I am tired all the time where I used to be very energetic. I have been trying to go to confession for the past month and cannot get there. Something always happens to interfere with my going. When I do have time, I have the baby to care for and no sitter.
I generally try to avoid falling into the belief of demonic influence. It just sounds so superstitious and hokey. But having witnessed things from ‘the other side of the coin’ so to speak, I am beginning to think I might need help.
Oddly enough, this started after I looked into the Order of the Legion of St Michael. I don’t want to go to my priest. I think he’ll think I am crazy. I FEEL crazy.
It may seem strange, but I feel more comfortable coming here for advice than going to my priest.
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Hoping that when you went to Confession you did mention to Father that have have had some involvement with the occult? It is very important that you should. I have not been following this thread but tried to catch up, and please forgive me if you have already answered the questions…Blessings and regards…Barb:)
 
To Barb, rest assured. My priest and I talked at great length about the occult involvement during confession. He surprised me with the penance he gave. It wasn’t the ’ 3 Hail Marys’ I expected, and we’ll leave it at that. 🙂

You know, I was wary of using holy water and blessed salt and oil as it reminded me too much of particulars in the pagan rituals I did. What I have learned is that Satan can only mimic what God has ordained and put in place, created for us to develop spiritually. These sacramentals were given by God to help us and stolen by Satan to mimic God.
Funny it is that neo-pagans accuse Christians of stealing their rituals when in reality Gerald Gardner stole things from the church, the masonic group, and others to form his rituals and pass them down as ‘wicca’.
Even down to the blessings used to create Holy water and such, wicca is stolen from other religions. It is a farce, and now, I believe it is an infantile and fake religion.

Everyone has been wonderful here. I have never felt the ridicule or condemnation that I believed I would experience. I thank God this site is here.

I keep those broken shards of glass to show people God’s wonderful power. It is my ‘concrete proof’ of God’s healing presence in my life. It is now part of my testimony to others. The rest of the glass votives were thrown out promptly.🙂
 
I had posted in here too with a bit of my story and yeah, I guess I was an anti-Catholic for a while too before coming back. I admit, I stumbled on the blessed salt & oil and had found some information on that. I used to keep salt in the window sills to ward off evil ‘spirits’, (I think that was a wiccan practice too) in my days of being a medium. Would love to do RCIA some day but don’t know if any is near me… I think I was sleeping in CCD, Confirmation & Mass 20+ years ago because seemed like a lot never sunk in. I know I was more interested in UFO’s & ghosts and continued in that garbage. I’ve been back a year since, I guess it was last July 1st (if my journal on my computer is right). My vision isn’t as great as it was as a child and still catch myself doing the wrong things at times. I miss the old Misselettes. I think I want to eventually buy a First Communion book or something that has everything in it for the Mass including the gestures because I know I miss what goes where. :confused:
 
Roza said:
I had posted in here too with a bit of my story and yeah, I guess I was an anti-Catholic for a while too before coming back. I admit, I stumbled on the blessed salt & oil and had found some information on that. I used to keep salt in the window sills to ward off evil ‘spirits’, (I think that was a wiccan practice too) in my days of being a medium. Would love to do RCIA some day but don’t know if any is near me… I think I was sleeping in CCD, Confirmation & Mass 20+ years ago because seemed like a lot never sunk in. I know I was more interested in UFO’s & ghosts and continued in that garbage. I’ve been back a year since, I guess it was last July 1st (if my journal on my computer is right). My vision isn’t as great as it was as a child and still catch myself doing the wrong things at times. I miss the old Misselettes. I think I want to eventually buy a First Communion book or something that has everything in it for the Mass including the gestures because I know I miss what goes where. :confused:
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Oh how I know how you feel. It has been a real struggle to get up and go to mass and try to ‘keep up’ with what is going on and try to explain things to my son, who has never been to mass before the last few months because mommy was away from the church. I know there are books out there that go through mass and explain things thoroughly. I may look into that as well.
Our RCIA process began last night. I volunteered to be on the hospitality committee and we had a good time. I plan to stay and listen for the lectures that I need and bought the book they are using. I plan to get the RCIA experience that I did not get years ago when I converted(except for going through confirmation and such,😛 ).

You’ll be in my prayers Rosa, and all the others who expressed similar problems and experiences. I feel a special bond with all of you.
 
2003 the occult stuff left me except for the temptings but will keep praying those prayers here. I was in the AoG for a while and I miss that church too but I knew ‘something’ was missing… (the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist). I think I started going there in 2004, even was baptized again but God had me looking at Catholicism again. I admit I did a night of bawling my eyes out because… it’s like I was battling old assumptions. Now trying to learn what I should have the first time. Knights of Columbus has some online courses I’ve been doing. 🙂 That’s in the midst of a job hunt too.

God bless
 
I hadn’t even noticed the links here yet, I’m listening to the MP3 right now, the rest I’ll get to. I use a TTS reader if the text is too long. When I left home I stopped going to Church, don’t know why I stopped, just did. There was a New Age store I’d go to called Shakti and yeah they had all the NAM stuff there, the Ouija was purchased at a game store, not a NAM store. The NAM store had books on every religion but I doubt they had anything on God or Jesus, or the Holy Spirit. I was so into meditation trying to reach an out of body experience or heal myself. I studied a little in yoga too, I studied on so many things. I did mantras. I had a NAM shopkeeper once tell me Catholicism was the perfect religion for wicca because of god and goddess… but as lost as I was I knew that wasn’t Catholicism. I knew Mary wasn’t a goddess. I have been drawn to know her better, to learn what I so blatantly missed. I had a friend who did reiki and she was raised Catholic but not going to Church. I did crystal healings on my friends, all sorts of deceptions. I will be checking the other links.

Does anyone remember that goofy movie from the 80’s, “The Lost Years of Jesus”? It tried to reduce the miracles of Jesus to His alleged study in Yoga. It aired on normal (non cable) TV. After coming out of this, I still wonder why Harry Potter seems so acceptable to the world? It seems so much an intro to the occult. The tame, made just for your kids intro to occult. I only saw 10 mins of one movie and had to stop watching.

Her comments about tattoos, I have a unicorn tattoo on my arm that was never finished but it’s been on my arm for 15 years at least. Is there a problem with tattoos? I will definitely view the rest of these links.
 
Ok, I have a little glass jar full of salt now and one of olive oil (I assume that’s what is used?) to take to Mass tomorrow to have blessed. I might as well bring my two bottles for Holy Water too… I assume that’s capitolized? See, I need RCIA too I think! But I have been going through the courses on the Knights of Columbus site and found a few links for RCIA.
 
I took mine to my priest at a scheduled appointment. It can be a little difficult to get time for this after mass, at least it was for me.

I just read Moira Noonan’s book. Very interesting little book.

If anyone here has read the book, I would be interested in knowing your take on a couple of things in it. One such thing is her inclusion of the Medjugoje visit. I was under the impression that the church has denounced the visitations at Medjugorje. I suppose it bothered me that she would include that if it is not church sanctioned.

Other than that, I found the book to be an exceptional help, if only to let me know that I am not alone in my journey. It was very encouraging to know that someone has been through all this, too. It helped me to feel ‘not so weird’.

Much thanks to those who suggested it. It really did help.

On a side note, my husband went to mass for the first time yesterday with me. I’m thinking he needs a green scapular in his truck and I need to get St Monica’s help.
Y’all pray for his conversion, please. Our family needs him to come to God.
 
I still have my green scapular and it was my ol’ Catholic co-worker in customer service (before I was promoted to tech) who knew me while I was still in my dabbling days who gave me a green scapular. He also gave me a little bottle of Holy Water back then and told me to keep putting it on my eyes. Knowing him, I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a Mass or two said for me back then. We used to sit right next to each other. It would be very cool to work together again.

I was so lost back then, “what about spirit guides?” “What about automatic writing?” etc etc. But he was patient with me. I must have given him some headaches back then. The way the corporation did us in wasn’t cool but the coworkers, we were a family, what can I say. I guess if you’re somewhere for almost 10 yrs yeah, it kinda grows on you. 😃

I had crystals for each ‘chakra’ and my ‘third eye’… all that nonsense. Thank God I’m out of all that junk!
 
vee8 said:
Juliasmith I read a book several months ago, and have unfortunately forgotten the title, about a women who was heavily into all the same things you describe in your post. She also had all the same problems you describe meeting with all kinds of resistance when trying to get to church. She eventually had to do a very thorough confession renouncing every single thing she had done, all the teachers of of each practice, gurus, and so on. She also had to get rid of every single thing from that time, every book, every crystal everything. The task of throwing everything out was not easy and shouldnt be done alone. Why well there are real demons attached to that junk and they may not take kindly to being tossed out so you should have help and be spiritually prepared first such as confession and the Eucharist. I should clarify her first confession was not the extremely thorough one, she needed at least one hour and a very understanding priest for that one.
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I believe I read the same book to which you refer.

The lady who wrote the book related a hard journey back to her faith.
I don’t believe you are imagining the difficulties in returning to your Faith.

You are in my prayers.
 
Dawid,

Thanks for quoting Vee’s post. If either one of you can recall the name of the book, would you let me know?

What she described is so important to getting rid of demons. They will hang on to the “hooks” we have in our lives. It’s like getting rid of a rat problem - if you keep food lying around, they will keep coming back.
 
I just read through this thread…wow…the story about the glass breaking and not a drop of Holy Water lost…wow.

I too indulged in the occult for years…from horoscopes to ouija boards. I always looked to the occult to try and understand my reason for living - palm reading, taro cards, angel cards, etc. I wore a crystal around my neck for protection and an amethyst ring to cleanse my aura…

Was I ever happy during those times…never! I was always in despair; feeling uneasy; feeling nervous; feelings of impending doom and gloom…

I then turned away from the occult and occassionally prayed to God. I was a RCIA student and was confirmed. I still didn’t really put much faith into God and kind of just floated for another 5 years. I met my husband and we got married in the CC. I was going to mass every Sunday, but I never really took it seriously. To this day, I feel terrible that I received Communion on my wedding day with terrible sins on my soul.

This year, I hadn’t gone to Confession for 12 years and a very kind priest gave me the courage to Confess one significant sin that I never confessed during my first Confession. After Confessing this one sin, I felt great and then I toyed with the idea of doing a full Confession. I was too embarrassed, so I went to a different church. When I got to the church, I was shaking, I had a headache, I couldn’t breath. I entered the face-to-face Confessional room and I was welcomed so warmly by that priest. I told him that I was really nervous and that I wasn’t sure if I could go through with it. He said, “Don’t be afraid. It’s just Satan trying to make you weak. Concentrate and tell me one by one the things that you want to tell Jesus. Speak from your heart. We are in no hurry.”

After my Confession, he told me that Jesus had given me a fresh start and that he was concerned about my ignorance. My penance was to read the Gospel of Mark. When I left I thanked God and promised Jesus that I would go to Confession once a month from then on. I have since spent everyday researching the CCC and reading about the saints. I have also began praying the Rosary everyday.

Every month, it gets easier and easier to go to Confession. It took me 4 Confessions to finally confess my former masturbation habit. That was sooo hard, but for some reason, each time I go to Confession, I feel more at ease and am able to confess things that I wouldn’t have dreamed of confessing a year ago!!!

I also began practicing NFP after my big Confession 4.5 months ago. I am doing everything I can to be closer to God. The euphoria that people mention, I have not experienced. What I feel is more of a calm after the storm. I feel like I have finally come home and that I’m whole.

I also want to make new friends with people who aspire to be holy. I think I have made a couple of new friends…one of them a priest and the other, a woman my age. Friendships take time, but I definitely feel the Holy Spirit working through me. I feel a push towards these new friends, so I am now allowing myself to be pushed. I am able to sense God’s will now and it’s wonderful.

this is a great thread…thanks for giving me the opportunity to share!
 
Lui said:
Actually I experienced what the OP described when I was about to get holy water. I was baptized but never received my first Holy Communion. I wasn’t raised Catholic although both my parents are Catholic. Well, my father is actually an atheist who is almost obsessed with mocking faith.
With that upbringing I never dealt with religious issues but have become religious over the last several years.
This year I decided to receive the Holy Communion as an adult. About 3 months ago I wanted to get holy water from a church. I got on the bus that goes to the church and suddenly experienced that same sort of headache the OP described. It was mixed with a feeling of anxiety even though wasn’t thinking about me being on my way to get holy water. I also didn’t expect that this could happen. It almost made me get off the bus.
When I first went to talk to a Priest about receiving communion shortly after, the Priest advised me to go to Mass. I asked him if I should go everyday. He said it’s better to keep it to once a week because if I overdo it I might experience some things happening that come from the enemy. At that moment I remembered the holy water episode and told him the story. He didn’t think I was crazy at all. He actually thought it was common.
After that I did experience other things. What surprises me now is that the OP also had almost the same symptoms.
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Strange that this thread has been revived today. I posted my previous post(the one I just quoted above) almost 4 months ago, mentioning that I would be confirmed soon.
I was doing really well these past months. I was confirmed last Friday and oddly ever since then I have been feeling a bit tense, high strung and aggressive. I really noticed it the day after I have been confirmed which surprised me because I expected to feel joyful and happy.
Does anyone think there might be a connection?
 
Lui said:
Strange that this thread has been revived today. I posted my previous post(the one I just quoted above) almost 4 months ago, mentioning that I would be confirmed soon.
I was doing really well these past months. I was confirmed last Friday and oddly ever since then I have been feeling a bit tense, high strung and aggressive. I really noticed it the day after I have been confirmed which surprised me because I expected to feel joyful and happy.
Does anyone think there might be a connection?
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Hi Lui,

I agree with your priest. Given the circumstances surrounding the problems you’ve described, this sounds like a typical demonic harassment. The demons’ goal is to discourage you from continuing forward in the faith. It is kind of a weird compliment - that this kind of annoyance can come along with “getting on Satan’s radar” through conversion. It’s a sign that you are a threat to Satan’s kingdom.

I’d recommend continuing to keep the precepts of the Church, and saying the Rosary daily, praying to be freed from any demonic harassment. Demons are terrified of Our Lady, and if you’re receiving the Sacraments and praying, they are unlikely to stick around long. But, if you’re doing that and the problems continue, PM me or post in this thread and I can send you some other helpful resources.
 
beckycmarie said:
Hi Lui,

I agree with your priest. Given the circumstances surrounding the problems you’ve described, this sounds like a typical demonic harassment. The demons’ goal is to discourage you from continuing forward in the faith. It is kind of a weird compliment - that this kind of annoyance can come along with “getting on Satan’s radar” through conversion. It’s a sign that you are a threat to Satan’s kingdom.

I’d recommend continuing to keep the precepts of the Church, and saying the Rosary daily, praying to be freed from any demonic harassment. Demons are terrified of Our Lady, and if you’re receiving the Sacraments and praying, they are unlikely to stick around long. But, if you’re doing that and the problems continue, PM me or post in this thread and I can send you some other helpful resources.
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Thanks for your help.
That’s why I said it’s strange that this thread has been revived now. I was kind of feeling a bit alone with my problem, wondering why I was feeling like this ever since I was confirmed and this thread reminded me why and also is offering me support.
I’ll see how it goes and will get back to you if this continues.🙂
 
Lui said:
Thanks for your help.
That’s why I said it’s strange that this thread has been revived now. I was kind of feeling a bit alone with my problem, wondering why I was feeling like this ever since I was confirmed and this thread reminded me why and also is offering me support.
I’ll see how it goes and will get back to you if this continues.🙂
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Just God at work to help you maybe!?

I am so encouraged by the tales of conversion I keep hearing from people who once were involved with the occult and how Our Lord has brought them home. I am also struck by the similarities in physical reactions many of us suffer after leaving those things. It is as though our flesh literally rebels against our following our Lord. Perhaps this is akin to what Paul told us about crucifying our flesh and taking up our cross EVERYDAY.
Congrats on the confirmation.
Thanks everyone for simply sharing here. As much as it has helped you, it has helped me far more. God bless all of you.
 
I love this thread!!! It’s so beautiful!

I’m having a hard time right now b/c I’m very in need of having friends who have faith. I have been feeling lonely in that sense, so CAF is a great way to build faith and share stories.

This is my attack for some reason. When I pray Hail Mary, sometimes I get this terrible image in my head of Holy Mary rotting with serpants coming out of her eye sockets and mouth. Another one happens when I kiss my daughter’s Precious Moments crucifix at night. Sometimes I get this horrible image of Jesus sexually aroused on the cross. This cross is also blessed, so I’m sure that’s why it happens when I kiss it.

I ask for forgiveness and then continue with my prayer.

Also, at night, sometimes I wake up and have this horrible feeling that there is a dark force in my room. I also get this image of the little girl in the movie Exorcist in my head. It freaks me out!!! I sometimes get so scared I can’t move. I just pray when it happens, but it still really scares me. Eventually I fall back asleep.

As for Blessed Mary, I don’t know why I get that image in my head.

It also happens sometimes when my priest (who is becoming a friend) kisses my baby. A horrible image sometimes comes into my head.

I take it as a compliment b/c Satan really does not want me to be closer to God, Blessed Mary or my priest. So if Satan wants me away from them, then God’s will must be the opposite.
 
Hi Serap,

What you’re describing sounds like a bit more than your typical harrassment. If the thoughts are not coming from you, and it doesn’t sound like they are, there is no need to ask for forgiveness. What you should ask is for God to deliver you from the blasphemous thoughts that are likely being sent by demons.

One of the best spiritual warfare prayers is the Hail Mary - a good one to say the moment you have such unwanted thoughts.

Here are some other prayers you may find helpful:

Hedge Prayer for Protection of Self

Prayer To Control Thoughts

Rebuking Particular Spirits
 
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